


The Liaison

by Hundan



Category: NCIS
Genre: AU, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:13:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 70,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23802145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hundan/pseuds/Hundan
Summary: Some days it's hard to remember why it is you do your job, this was highly evident today for Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo. When he left Gibbs, his boss, in the motherland to take a overseas deployment to Israel he thought the whole thing would be an experience of a lifetime. Maybe he was wrong, but maybe he was right. AU
Relationships: Ziva David/Anthony DiNozzo
Comments: 57
Kudos: 150





	1. Chapter One

Chapter One

Some day’s it’s hard to remember why it is you do your job, this was highly evident today for Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo. When he left Gibbs, his boss, in the motherland to take a overseas deployment to Israel he thought the whole thing would be an experience of a lifetime.

Today however after their team got attacked and hit with a roadside bomb, he doesn’t think he really thought this through. Experience of a lifetime yes, but not quite the one he was looking for.

All he thought was, the ladies in Israel are babes. Maybe Abby is right and it’s time for him to start thinking with his actual brain, not his man brain.

Two people died, support crew they had from the Israeli Defence Force. Out of the eight people deployed from the US, only one was seriously hurt. Jerry Hammond. He was 57 years old and deployed to the crew from the FBI. He had a wife and three kids back home, a lot more to lose than he did. Tony didn’t have anyone back home worried about him, not even his Dad.

Jerry took considerable damage to his left leg, the doctors said he might lose his leg. Tony had never been more terrified in his life. He was seriously considering if he should go home, but he knows he isn’t the only one thinking that and they have a job to do here.

He, along with the other support from the NCIS, FBI and CIA were here to liaise with Mossad, Israeli Police and military teams on investigations involving the current US military in the country.

Today they were investigating the death of a young marine, he’d been hung and gutted. It was obviously suspicious and being investigated. Today was the first day of investigation and his third day in the country. Talk about hitting the ground running.

He opened the door to his apartment and walked in. He was still covered in dust and blood, most of which wasn’t his. He’d spent 3 hours in the medical bay with Jerry, a man he didn’t know last week. His apartment was inside the Mossad complex in Tel Aviv, along with the seven other US liaison officers.

Tony believed this was for two reasons, so they were as safe as they could be from outside threat and so Mossad could keep an eye on them.

Derek Thomas, one of the CIA guys warned him out and said if you leave the complex, you will probably have someone watching your whereabouts. Derek said that he was safe to go anywhere, just don’t do anything that looks hostile towards Mossad or you’ll know about it.

So far, Tony had become closest with Derek. Which surprised him as he was always in the belief that CIA were all kooks and unfriendly. Derek had most certainly changed his mind on that.

Tony placed his sidearm on the small dining table in his apartment and ran his hands through his hair. Sweat, blood and dust covered his hands. This was harder than anything he’d been through back at home, and he’d been in some pretty sticky situations.

He walked to the bathroom and switched on the shower. He began unbuttoning his shirt when there was a knock at his apartment door.

He opened the door.

Standing in front of him was a woman he had never seen before, and he felt his mouth unable to form words.

She was beautiful, and slightly intimidating.

“There will be a debrief at 8pm in conference room seven, do not be late” she stated. Her voice like sweet honey, the kind that you’d get stung by the bees protecting it if you dare touch.

She was Israeli and she was most definitely Mossad, he could tell. She wasn’t in IDF uniform, she was wearing olive cargo pants and a plain black shirt. She stared at him like she meant serious business. Her hair, dark and curly pulled tight into a ponytail at the back of her hair.

The pistol at her hip he believed wasn’t the only weapon she was carrying. She gave him the shivers, in the best kind of way.

“Hi” was all that came out of his mouth. God, he is so stupid. She thinks so too if the look she just gave him was anything to go off.

She looked him up and down “Best you clean yourself up before then” was all she said before spinning on her heels and walking off to the next apartment. 

It took him a few minutes to close his door. He looked down at himself, his shirt was half open and he was a mess. Blood, dirt. What a way to meet someone.

Who was she though? She captivated him.

She seemed somewhat annoyed, maybe someone had sent her to do this door knocking task and it demeaned her. She didn’t come across to him as someone that was at the bottom of the ranks and completed door knock errands.

She seemed like a deadly woman. He would put her in a division higher above her current tasking.

“Hi… What a loser” he whispered to himself. He’d never not had anything up his sleeve to say to a pretty woman, ever. There was definitely something about this woman. Hopefully he doesn’t have to see her around the Mossad compound, as he couldn’t be more embarrassed about the interaction they had just had.

But in saying that, he also hopes so see her again.

As he steps into the shower and the water turns dark with the blood and dirt that covers his body, he thinks to himself that the next 9 months are going to be long and exhausting.

And its only day three.


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two

Dirt and blood free, he was dressed in a clean dress shirt and pants. His arms were covered in scratches from where he was hit by debris from the bomb today, but they were superficial compared to Jerry.

As he walked to the meeting room he was joined by the other US liaisons.

There was Sarah Whitehall, Ethan Rodrigues and Eric Davidson from the FBI. Timothy Owen and Derek from the CIA. The only person missing was Jerry and that settled heavily on everyone as they walked into the conference room.

When they walked into the room Eli David, the Director of Mossad was standing at the front of the room with Major General Samuel Abbott who was the boss for all the US liaisons. Neither of them looked very happy.

Tony is used to being in trouble with some of the stunts he pulls, but he doesn’t think anything would match up to the feeling in this room. Not even when he pisses Gibbs off.

But in saying that, surely they weren’t to blame for all of this?

They all took a seat in the room.

“We are all aware of the events today, and currently Jerry is looking at being sent to Germany for surgery” Abbott began. Tony looked around the room, everyone had the same sombre look on their face.

“At the current time, we believe this attack was on purpose and targeted at our unit” he continued. That’s when Director stood taller.

So it wasn’t their fault.

“This was not a random attack. That, my people assure me” Director David stated. Tony had only heard him speak on the first day he arrived. There was something about the way he spoke, Tony definitely knew he was a dangerous man. You don’t become the Director of Mossad without doing the leg work.

“Eli and I have discussed the arrangement with this unit following the events today. If you would like to reconsider your deployment, you can return to your agencies back home. In saying that, the unit cannot be fully disbanded as we need at least four to stay and continue investigating this issue. I have made the decision to stay, so I need three to stay behind with me” Abbott stated. Abbott was a formal man, like many Major Generals, but something about Abbott made Tony feel like he was no different to anyone else on the team.

There were many looks around the room, everyone seemed very unsure about the next step. Concern and deep thought crossed every face in the room.

What Tony did know, was just like with Jerry, he was one of the few in the room that didn’t have a family to go back home to.

He wasn’t close with his Dad, he was closer to his boss Gibbs.

“You have the evening to think things over, we have organised a flight out of the country for those returning tomorrow. The ones left behind will be teamed with my best agents who will now be on board with this liaison position” the Director announced.

“Think things over team, discuss between the group. Owen I want a list by 0500 tomorrow of the names for the flight” Abbott stated. Owen had been on the deployment the longest and was due to trade out within the next month with his replacement.

Owen gave the Major a nod and both the bosses were gone from the conference room and left them all to their thoughts.

The room was quiet for a long time.

“I’m happy to stay. I am sure my wife won’t be too pleased about the decision but after 10 years in the Navy Seals, this isn’t anything new to me” Derek stated. Tony hadn’t realised that Derek had served with the Seals. And by looking at the faces in the room, neither did anyone else. He obviously kept that information secret.

“I will discuss things with my sister tonight, but being over here is important for my family with the extra pay benefits, I cannot afford to leave at this time” Sarah was the next one to speak up. She’d been here for about two months. Tony did not know he back story but he’s sure she wouldn’t put her hand up for this over money unless it was serious.

Everyone was quiet in the room and no one spoke for a bit.

Looking at Ethan, Eric and Tim. Tony knows they all have partners and children back home. They have also been here the longest.

Tony wouldn’t put staying as top of his to do list, but he would rather they go home to their families and he be the one to stay. He doesn’t have as much on the line.

“I’ll stay” he said. His heart began pounding in his chest but he could see some signs of relief on the last faces in the room.

He’d done the right thing as much as it scares him.

Tim nodded.

“Talk to your families, and if your decisions still hold by 0400 let me know” Tim said. Everyone nodded and the all quietly dispersed from the conference room.

On the walk back to his apartment Derek caught up to him.

“Come over for a drink when you’ve called home” Derek said as he patted him on the shoulder. Tony nodded back. Everyone was very sombre right now and they all carried heavy hearts.

“I will. Text me when you’ve finished up with Faith” Tony replied. Faith was Derek’s wife. As much as he’d become friendly with Derek in the last few days, that and Derek’s love for Football was about all Tony had learnt. He’s sure he will know a lot more about him by the time this is all over.

“If I survive” Derek joked. That made Tony smile as he disappeared into his apartment.

Tony sat on his bed and unbuttoned his top button, loosing his tie. He’s been faced with a lot of things in his time, but never something this serious or dangerous. He wasn’t in the military like Derek. It wasn’t normal for him to be blown up by IEDs.

He picked up his phone and dialled his emergency contact number one.

“Gibbs” was the grumbly answer on the other end. Tony didn’t even think to look at what the time was back home before calling.

“Hey boss, sorry if I woke you” he tread lightly. He’s never really had a heart to heart with his boss before. He doesn’t really have them with anyone.

“What is it DiNozzo? Better be important at three in the morning” his boss replied. Yes, he’d woke him up.

“So there’s a situation over here at the moment…” he began. He didn’t know how to go about this.

“Go on” Gibbs replied. His bosses tone had softened, as much as it would for Gibbs.

“There’s been an attack on our unit. A purposeful one. Half the unit is going home but they wanted volunteers for the ones that need to stay behind” Tony paused and Gibbs was listening “I put my hand up. The others have partners and kids so I figured it was the right thing to do” he finished.

“That’s very honourable of you DiNozzo” Gibbs stated. Tony cannot remember the last time Gibbs complimented him for something he did.

“Well I’ve got less to lose, I don’t exactly have a family back at home” he explained.

“Well that’s not true Tony. But, it’s a respectful decision” Tony? Gibbs had never, ever called him by his first name. That made him smile. He does have a family back home, the team. He never thought the indication of that would come from Gibbs. He will do his family proud.

“Please don’t tell Abby what’s going on, I don’t want her to panic” Tony asked. Abby would lose her shit if she knew it was getting dangerous over here. She was already concerned when he left, she was making McGee hack firewalls to get information on how dangerous Tel Aviv really is.

“You have my word. You call when you need DiNozzo” Gibbs offered. He’d never heard his boss care so much. Maybe he did actually care about him. That thought was very easing to his mile a minute heart right now.

“Thanks boss”

“Semper Fi DiNozzo” Gibbs stated. Another small smile grew on Tony’s face.

“Semper Fi” Tony returned and ended the call. He’d never used that term, he hadn’t been in the Marines like Gibbs had. But suddenly, it seemed appropriate. 

Tony removed his tie and changed into some jeans and a shirt. Something a bit more relaxed would hopefully help relax his mind. He grabbed a beer out of his minifridge. At least they know how to accommodate his American ass in the country and gave him a fridge full of beers.

His phone beeped and he saw a message from Derek.

_Wife made me promise to start trying for kids when I get back as a dealbreaker. Guess it could have gone worse._

Tony laughed. He grabbed a handful of beers and walked to the apartment next door.

Derek opened the door at Tony’s knock.

“Hey man, come in” he stepped aside and Tony walked in. Derek had been in country for about four months now, and you could tell as his apartment looked a lot more lived in than his.

He had a few things decorating the place which he must have brought in town. There was also an Israeli flag with signatures on it. Derek caught the direction of his gaze.

“All the guys I’ve worked with here have signed it, will have to get you to sign it now with our impending future together” Derek joked. Tony laughed. Derek liked to crack a good joke, Tony seemed to think that might relate to why they get along so well.

“Nice digs man, seems homely” he stated.

“After my time in the military, I know from experience you have to make your room for deployment homely. Otherwise its feels like a prison and you’re trapped” Derek explained. Tony never thought of it that way. But in saying that, this was his first deployment.

“I suppose I should start taking notes from you on all this” Tony replied and they laughed.

“You need anything man, don’t be afraid to ask. I got your back” Derek said. That comment made Tony’s heavy heart lighter. Maybe with Derek around, things won’t be so bad.

Derek pulled out some mugs from his kitchen cupboard. They looked homemade.

“Brought these at the local market. Faith loves unique things so I always have to make sure I buy her this crap” Derek explained. Tony had a feeling that secretly, Derek liked buying these things.

Derek then opened his top cupboard and it was full with liquor bottles.

“Scotch?” Derek asked.

“Go on. Man that’s some collection” Tony exclaimed. He knew alcohol in this country wasn’t big and is generally more frowned upon.

“There’s this old lady in town called Freeda, her and her son’s homebrew. It’s good stuff. They generally only sell to locals, however one of the Mossad boy’s put me onto her. I’m sure I can introduce you” Derek explained. He seemed to have his fingers in all the pies after only a few months.

Tony guessed it probably came natural after his last job with the Seals.

“I look forward to meeting her” Tony smiled as Derek poured them a drink.

They sat down on the couch and were quiet for a moment.

“I’m not going to lie, this kind of shit is new to me” Tony admitted. Derek had a small smile.

“Honestly, you adapt pretty quick. The only difference to being on the street as a cop is on deployment you don’t have the freedoms after work you probably do back home. In my opinion, being a cop on the beat is far more dangerous than any military situation I’ve been in. It’s so much more unpredictable” Derek explained.

“How so?” Tony asked.

“Over here, and on deployment you’re expecting someone to jump out at you and attack. Back home, in your local Starbucks, that’s meant to be a relaxing and safe place. But someone would jump you in a place like that. Being a cop back home, that’s probably just as dangerous. But the thing is, you don’t expect it as much as you would here” Derek stated. And for some reason Tony had never thought of it that way before.

“That makes a lot of sense”

“If you can survive as a cop on the beat like you used to, you’ll be fine out here” Derek reassured him.

There was a knock at the door.

“I hope you don’t mind, but I invited Sarah over. I figured we all better start getting to know each other better” Derek stood up and walked to the door.

“Of course, I’m glad you did” Tony replied.

Sarah smiled at the door and walked in with beers in hand, just like Tony had. Derek poured her a scotch.

At least Sarah seemed like she was going to get along swimmingly with them on the drinking front.

“How was your sister?” Derek asked as they sat down on the couches. Tony hadn’t spoken to Sarah further than hello, he hadn’t really talked much on a personal level with anyone but Derek yet.

“Good, she’s not happy I’m staying but Kurt getting support is more important than that at the moment” she replied.

Tony was curious to who Kurt was, but he didn’t ask. It would feel rude.

“Here’s to the three of us and whatever shit we just signed up to” Derek proclaimed and raised his glass. The three of them clinked their mugs together and downed their drinks.

Tony wasn’t much of a religious man, but he prayed that someone would keep an eye out for him until his feet hit the home soil.


	3. Chapter Three

Chapter Three

It was a hard goodbye, even if Tony only knew everyone for about four days. As the plane flew off the tarmac he wondered if he made the right decision.

But after talking with Gibbs last night and having drinks with Sarah and Derek he’s confident in sticking with his decision.

They probably had a few too many last night but of course they had to have a pity party for themselves. And after it, he’s glad Derek and Sarah are the two he’s stuck with. They all seemed to get along well.

This morning they were going to another meeting with the boss and the Director.

When they walked into the conference room there were three new faces in the room. Each of them meaning business and looking like the sharp edge of a sword. Not to be messed with.

One of those faces he’d seen before. The dangerous beauty with the curly brown hair.

God.

She made him so distracted.

The other two were male, and to be honest Tony didn’t take too much notice of them, due to his concentration being on the woman.

He’d never been so drawn to a person he didn’t know before.

Interesting.

Interestingly dangerous more like.

“Thank you all for volunteering to stay behind, I know it was not an easy decision to make” Abbott stated “We are prepared for things to move a lot differently in the coming months with regards to the usual posting changes, the ones expected to come into country in the next few weeks will no longer”

“There will be a release on these changes within the next few weeks. Starting with regards to the investigation that was started yesterday, Eli’s team went to scene last night and recovered what they could, but I’ll let them inform you” Abbott passed the brief over to Eli.

“With the current circumstances we did not want your team entering the scene again just in case there was a follow up attack. My team has gone and collected the evidence they could and brought what they could back here. Ziva?” Eli looked towards the beautiful woman.

Ziva. Zeevah.

Oh, he liked that.

It suited her.

Zeevah.

She took steps to the front of the room.

She stood tall and strong.

“Photos were taken of the scene before anything was moved” she began as a projector screen came to life. Photos began flicking onto the wall. 

“Then items of interest were bagged and brought back, and the body was taken to the morgue downstairs”

Man, for a trained killer, she was a very sufficient investigator. Tony wondered what kind of investigating skills they taught their operatives in Mossad.

“Looking at the lacerations to the man’s body, I believe this man was tortured before he was hung” Ziva pointed to the close up pictures that began to flick through on the screen.

“All of these lacerations points, are ones we are taught to inflict to cause the most pain, with the least amount of bleeding during torture” she said casually.

Tony was almost frightened at how casually she pointed that information out. But, it didn’t in anyway decrease his attraction to her. And thinking about that, he had no idea what was wrong with him. Clearly she was a trained killer, trained to inflict torture. He should be scared for his life.

“And his intestines, these were cut and pulled out while he was alive”

Tony had never seen anything so vicious before. He felt bad for what this marine had been through before he died. 

“I am of the belief that someone was trying to get information from this man. That paired with the attack yesterday, someone is targeting the Mossad and U.S partnership” she finished and nodded towards Director David.

She stepped back next to her two Mossad team members. Director David stood back up the front of the room.

“My daughter and her two best agents will be supporting your team throughout this investigation. At all times outside the Mossad compound one of you will have one of my agents. No excuses” David instructed.

My daughter? If Tony didn’t have an excuse to shove his thoughts so far down his throat about Ziva yet, he does now.

That would be a messy situation.

Now, he’s been in a few messy situations in his time when his downstairs brain got him in trouble, but he liked his life.

And he wants to keep all of his fingers, so he best get rid of his unprofessional thoughts about Ziva. Quick smart.

Tony also noticed that when the Director spoke of Ziva as his daughter, and not as her own name, Ziva looked a little more deadly.

She clearly didn’t like him announcing her like that to others on a professional level.

He could only imagine what it was like to be the child of the Director of Mossad. Not only that, but she was a woman in a professional field strongly filled with males. To get to the high level she clearly was without ridicule from others about how she got to that point, would have been non-existent.

He would bet on it that she’s even tougher than she looks, specifically because of that.

He doesn’t know her and maybe she is the kind of woman who gets where she wants to because of her ‘Daddy’, but from what he’s observed of her so far, he doesn’t think that’s the case.

The first day he met her she was clearly pissed off about something, and it was probably her father’s direction to be on this assignment.

The fact that it had bothered her, told him she was her own woman and would rather be on an assignment away from her father.

While his train of thoughts had gone on about investigating the mysterious woman Ziva, he’d forgot to listen to the current brief one of the other Mossad males was giving.

He lightly shook his head and brought himself back into focus.

The slight shake of his head was missed by most of the room, but Ziva’s eyes were on him all of a sudden. She hadn’t missed it.

Ninja.

He tried very hard not to look at her and focus on the presentation in front of him. But he couldn’t help but look over to her.

He locked eyes with her.

It was like she was assessing him from across the room. Suddenly he felt hot.

He looked away and back to the front.

He’d never felt so sexually intimidated.

* * *

He’s glad that for today, he wasn’t paired up with Ziva. He needs to sort his shit out before that happens. Needs to lose his sexual tension and stop thinking about her.

That, he will sort out later when he’s alone.

Today, working with Azriel Kohen had been interesting.

He was a quiet guy, and Tony generally wasn’t very quiet. It wasn’t exactly a good match. Azriel seemed to only talk with Tony when it was necessary. Tony wondered what Mossad agents did with their free time, as they all seemed so work focused.

Tony wasn’t used to working alongside people who were almost robotic. All the cops he’d ever worked with used dark humour to get through a situation and would not stop talking about bullshit throughout an investigation.

He and Azriel worked through the exhibits that had been brought in and Tony thought the day would go on forever.

As he sat down in the mess hall next to Derek and Sarah, he couldn’t be happier for some normal human interaction.

“What a long day” he commented.

Derek and Sarah didn’t look as exhausted as him.

“Azriel not pull his weight?” Derek asked.

“No, not that. He’s a good worker. He just didn’t speak a word to me all day and I was struggling with that. I attempted to make small talk but, he wasn’t interested” Tony explained, loosening his tie.

Sarah and Derek laughed.

“Sounds like a terrible match for you then” Sarah explained.

“Want to swap Mossad agents tomorrow?” Tony asked.

“I’m not sure, I liked Ziva” Sarah replied. Oh, yes, Tony definitely would like to trade with Sarah because…

No. He needs to stop those thoughts.

“On second thought, you can keep her” Tony replied. This comment got raised eyebrows from both Sarah and Derek.

“Are you telling me you don’t want to work with the hot Israeli woman, and want to keep Azriel?” Derek asked, not believing his ears. He knows Tony’s a single man. And when they had drinks last night and talked about their lives, he sounded like an ‘active’ single man.

Tony didn’t know what to say, he couldn’t tell them he’s beyond attracted to the woman.

“She intimidates me” he explained. It wasn’t not the truth. Yes, she intimidated him. But that was only one part of the story.

Sarah giggled.

“She’s not going to eat you Tony” Sarah continued to laugh.

Eat him… oh he might like that.

Tony shrugged.

“I dunno, there’s something about her” he said.

Sarah and Derek continued to laugh at him.

“Ezra is nice, and I promise he’s not intimidating” Derek offered “I don’t mind some piece and quiet myself if you want to trade tomorrow so you can keep your sanity” he continued.

Tony nodded in thanks.

“I may just take you up on that offer” he replied.

Later when Tony was alone in his apartment, he tried everything he could to rid himself of the thoughts of Ziva.

After a handful of beers, a few naughty thoughts and some personal time, he rested easy without a further thought of her.

Maybe he was just overdue for some release, and he’d picked a beautiful woman to focus those not so behaved thoughts on.


	4. Chapter Four

** Chapter Four **

It had been a week of investigation, and so far they had no leads. There was no strong evidence, no suspects, nothing. They were up shit creek without a paddle.

So far Tony had avoided being partnered up with Ziva, and his strong feelings towards her had so far declined, but not disappeared. He still felt a pull towards her in a strange way.

He still didn’t know what it was.

Ezra Mizrahi had been a lot easier for him to be partnered with, as he liked to small talk with Tony. They had got along well. On discussing Azriel’s hate for small talk with Ezra, Ezra had assured Tony that Azriel was always like that and don’t take it to heart.

Today was meant to be their first day off in 12 days, but when Tony got a call at 09:00 in the morning, he felt like his day off was about to be over. And he wasn’t wrong.

Another marine had been killed, in a similar fashion to the last one.

They all geared up, body armour, guns and headed out in some armoured vehicles. In the middle of the rush, he hadn’t noticed the person he happened to get in the vehicle with.

Ziva.

She was in the drivers seat and he’d jumped into the passenger seat.

He turned and looked at her.

She was staring at him.

“Hey” was all that he said. He honestly didn’t know what to say. She knew who he was so introducing himself would be stupid.

“Hello” she replied. Accent thick and exotic. Her eyes looked him up and down, in an almost seductive manner.

She turned and faced the front, putting the car into gear and the wheels screeched as they took off at pace. He couldn’t help but cling onto the door handle.

He knew Mossad received tactical driver training, but he wasn’t sure he was going to survive this ride.

Her driving was another level of crazy.

The car was silent for a moment, the only sound was her foot slamming into the clutch as she vigorously changed gears.

Then all of a sudden she spoke up.

“I have seen the way you have been looking at me” she stated, not taking her eyes of the road.

He had no idea what to say.

What was he supposed to say?

He couldn’t think of one thing to say that wouldn’t sign his death wish.

“Sorry” was all he could think of.

“What is it you are apologizing for?” she then asked.

She came to a stop as a car cut her off, and she looked around the area checking for hostile movement before believing it was clear and looking at him.

“I honestly have no idea” he replied, and couldn’t help but let out a nervous chuckle.

Her eyes assessed him briefly before planting her foot on the accelerator and taking off again.

“You have been thinking about how you would like to sleep with me, yes?” she asked, without hesitation.

He was lost for words. He had never in his life, met a woman so forward and up front with him.

It was extremely sexy.

“No, that-“ be began, denying the accusation. He needed to stay professional on this deployment. However, she cut him off mid explanation.

“I have been trained to tell if someone is lying to me, Agent DiNozzo” she informed him, her eyes flickering to him briefly. She looked as though she was enjoying toying with him.

Oh, she was the devil.

“Tony” he replied “You can call me Tony”

He could see the smirk on her face.

“Well Tony” the way she drawled out his name was seductive “Your eyes are not very good at keeping secrets” she finished.

She’d caught him out. Red handed.

No one had ever read him like that before. He had one of the best poker faces in the department. Obviously, Gibbs was the only one better than him.

Maybe he was losing his talent.

However, no one else had mentioned anything about the way he’d been looking at her. And he is sure, Derek and Sarah would have pulled him up on it.

He was about to reply to her comment when they came to a halt and she got out. He watched her began to scan the area with her gun drawn.

He got out and followed suit.

The others had also pulled into the empty warehouse area, and were all entering from different angles of the compound.

Their information had come in anonymously, unlike last time.

Last time no one had called in, the body had been found.

So, they suspected due to the different approach that maybe a passer-by had called it in, and they might get lucky and find the offender on scene.

That or the killer was changing his game.

Tony would bet his money on the second option, and that this was most likely a set up.

By the way Ziva was tactically walking about, scanning all corners and areas, he thought that she thought it was likely a set up too.

He came up behind her, tailing her.

Her steps faulted ever so slightly, not expecting him to be so on the ball with their approach.

“I’ve got your back Ziva” he stated, holding his pistol to his chest and watching both sides as she covered the front.

He didn’t expect someone as highly trained as her to fully trust him, and she will probably still cover her own six.

That’s okay by Tony.

He knows, that unless you’ve had the time to bond and gel as a unit, you’ll never a hundred percent trust the other person.

He trusts Gibbs, Kate and McGee to have his six, but they’ve been a team for long enough to have that trust.

As they approached the building she radioed to the other members that they had the south side entrance covered.

This felt so natural, working with her like this.

Like they’d done it before.

She advanced on the building and he was hot on her tail.

She kicked the door to her front and it smashed opened. She’s a strong looking woman, but not a big woman. However, that door went down without hesitation.

He can only imagine how strong her legs are.

She entered the building and went right, he went left. They cleared the entrance to the door and took cover behind some wooden boxes.

“I’ll go first, you follow, I’ll always sweep right, you sweep left. Got it?” she was in full Mossad mode now. Strong, confident, tactical.

He nodded.

She stepped out from the boxes and made her way further into the warehouse, he followed right behind. She was scanning, stopping, crouching. Covering all the angles before moving forward to the next point of cover.

Just as they went to move to the next cover point, he saw something move to his left, up high.

He swung his gun in the direction of the movement.

Shots rang out and he felt the wood chip from beside them as bullets hit the boxes they had been using for cover.

He didn’t hesitate in firing.

Three shots in, and he’d got his target.

He doesn’t remember the last time he’d hit a target that far away with a pistol.

He lowered his weapon, but stayed alert. His eyes settled on Ziva at his side.

She was crouched and had her weapon pointed where he had.

“You okay?” he asked quickly, assessing the damage.

“Yes” she replied, and her voice trembled.

Surely she’s been shot at before, so what had her looking like she’d seen a ghost?

Just as they moved forward, the Derek and Ezra came around the boxes.

“ _All clear_ ” buzzed over the radio “ _Status Ziva?_ ” Azriel asked over the radio.

“We’re good” Tony replied over the radio as he watch Ziva go from being speechless, to having her steal armour back on.

“One gunman down, left upper stairwell, moving on the target” her robot response came back over the radio. She looked at him briefly, with the slightest glint of panic on her face, before moving in the direction of the stairwell.

He followed.

He wasn’t sure what was going through her mind, but he will make a point of trying to find out later.

Derek and Ezra were also in tow.

As they reached the top of the stairs, the gunman was on his back, two shots in his chest and he wasn’t moving.

Ziva’s fingers went to his neck, checking his pulse.

Her face dropped.

He was dead.

Tony was of the thought that she probably wanted him alive so she could attempt to gain the much needed information from him.

Today, that wasn’t going to be the case.

“Negative on the gunman, he’s dead” she informed over the radio. Yep, she was hoping for a breathing gunman, one she could interrogate.

“Ezra, I want you to exhibit everything up here” she ordered, Ezra nodded, holstered his weapon and got to work “I want a detailed profile on who he is and where that gun was purchased from” she continued. Ezra nodded again and continued on with his task.

“The marine is on the westside of the warehouse, he’s long gone” Derek added. Ziva nodded towards him.

“I do not believe this compound is safe, so we need to move fast” she stated. Tony and Derek nodded and all three of them went downstairs to start exhibiting.

“I will have IDF set up security around the area” she said, and walked off towards an IDF soldier. Tony watched her. She was back to her tough exterior, but he’d seen that fall. Seen shock in her eyes.

And based of how much she avoided looking at him, she knows he saw it.

* * *

Ziva stayed out at the warehouse when the rest of them came back for the night. They were all exhausted but Tony was not ready to sleep. Today had been another scary moment, they don’t seem to stop happening since he’s been here.

Derek had offered him and Sarah some beers, Tony had taken them up on the offer, however his thoughts had been somewhere else completely.

Derek kept shooting him side glances, but hadn’t said anything.

Tony opened his phone.

He had _her_ number, everyone was sent the phone numbers of everyone in an email.

He felt like sending her a message.

It was weird, after their brief encounter in the car and when they teamed up and went into the building, it all felt so natural. Like they’d know each other for years.

Their encounter in the car had surely raised his blood temperature when it was happening, but that was the last thing he was thinking of right now.

He was… worried about her.

Something he saw on her face in the warehouse, he knew she wasn’t okay. He might not know her well enough, but he is a investigator after all.

_If you need a beer after today, you know where I live. Tony._

It felt rude texting her. She would probably just look at it and laugh. He highly doubted someone like her would come and spill all her inner worries to him.

But hey, he cannot feel anymore embarrassed by her after she called him out on wanting to have sex with her, so surely sending her a text wont dig his grave any deeper.

He hoped.

“I might call it a night” Tony said as he stood up. He was met with two surprised sets of eyes.

“Are you sure, its still early?” Sarah pointed out. That it was. It was only 8pm.

“Yeah, I know, just feeling like a early night in after today” Tony replied. Sarah and Derek shared a look of some sort. Like they were quietly communicated on who should make sure he’s alright.

Derek stood. Tony guessed he was going to go outside with him and check if he’s doing okay.

Tony wasn’t wrong.

The two of them stepped outside and walked a few paces to Tony’s door.

“You doing okay man?” Derek asked, leaning against the balcony railing. Tony nodded.

“Still trying to get used to being shot at this much, got any tips?” Tony joked. They both shared a light smile.

“If I ever figure out how to be relaxed after being shot at, I’ll let you know” Derek joked back.

Derek patted him on the shoulder “I’m next door if you need brother” he informed him. Tony smiled at Derek.

“Thanks man, means a lot. But I’ll be okay, think I just need a hot shower and a lie down” Tony placed his hand on Derek’s back in a similar fashion to how he had. Derek nodded.

There was such an easy understanding between them, Tony saw them being good friends for a long time after all this crazy shit was over.

Derek disappeared into his room and Tony opened his door.

He kicked off his shoes at the door. What a long day. He’s going to age so much on this deployment, its been not even two weeks and he feels five years older.

He striped his clothes off and threw them in his wash basket. He grabbed another beer from his fridge and stepped into the scolding hot water of his shower.

Nothing like the feeling of hot water so hot it numbs your skin. Numbs your soul.


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW chapter, just saying. 😉

** Chapter Five **

The shower had definitely made him feel a little better. However, he was finished his beer and his skin was bright red, so it was probably time to get out.

He closed off the water and dried himself. He wiped his hand across the mirror to clear the steam. He didn’t just feel five years older, he looked it too.

He wrapped his towel around his waist and headed to the kitchen for another drink. He was thinking whisky this time.

Derek had given him one of his bottles the other day, right now he couldn’t be more grateful for it.

He walked out of his bathroom and headed for the kitchen. He opened the top cupboard and got the whiskey bottle down.

“You are going to pour me one of those?” the exotic voice filled his ears.

Tony got such a fright he jumped and his head hit the underside of the open cupboard.

“Fuck” he swore. Did he walk right passed her?

Suddenly she was next to him.

“You Americans are really pay little attention” she stated, placing one hand on his shoulder and the other by his ear so she could bend his head down for her to assess.

Her hands were warm, and much softer at the touch then he expected. As much as he was trying not to think about her unprofessionally, that’s definitely where his mind was going now that he could feel her hands on his skin.

“Pretty sure I saved your ass today, thank you” he replied, slightly grumpy now that his head was throbbing. He felt her hands tense on his skin.

Suddenly she let him go.

“You will survive” she pressed out. Suddenly, her playful mood had gone sour. What had he said?

He saved her ass.

Now he was starting to realise why she’d been strange today. She hadn’t seen the gunman.

That’s why she looked so ghostly. She had probably been kicking herself all day that she hadn’t seen him and that a American had saved her professional killer self. 

“I should not be here” she went on, turning towards his door.

“Hey” he said softly, grabbing her by the wrist.

Maybe that was a bad decision.

All of a sudden he was flat on his back and Ziva was on top of him. Probably not in the preferred way.

Her knee was between his legs, one hand at the base of his neck. Both options ready to attack if she needed.

“I do not appreciate being grabbed like that” she was very tense. He was starting to see the scary side of Ziva, but he’s sure it nowhere near her scariest.

And she was very strong. He wasn’t a tiny man.

He held up his hands.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be hostile with you. I just wanted to make sure you were okay” he stated.

She narrowed her eyes at him.

“I am fine” she pressed out.

He wasn’t convinced. But he had no idea how to go about something like this with a woman like her.

“We don’t have to talk about it. Maybe we could just have that drink that you came over for?” he knew she wasn’t going to open up to him after five minutes of knowing him. Heck, he didn’t really open up to anyone often and he wasn’t some badass ninja.

So he tried to take them back to where they were before he said what he did.

He knows what conversations to avoid now.

She wasn’t easing up her hold on him.

“I’m pretty thirsty after smacking my head, I may not need to see the doctor, but I definitely need a stiff drink” he tried again. He watched as her eyes assessed him, tried to read him. He tried to give his best relaxed, joker smile.

That worked.

“I guess it is the least I can do for scaring you” she stated, relaxing slightly. However, he could feel the tension was still there.

Ziva stood up, gracefully. He attempted to do the same, but he clearly wasn’t as nibble as her, and he was only wearing a towel.

He saw the direction of her gaze and he wonders how much she had just seen of him.

She offered him a hand up, he obliged.

“Thank you” he made sure to tighten his towel a little bit more once he’d stood “See anything you like?” he asked with a wink. She seemed to enjoy banter with him in the car earlier, so why not?

She cracked a smile and laughed.

Tony couldn’t tell if she was laughing at him, or in regards to what she saw.

Suddenly he felt a little insecure.

“Ha ha ha” he mocked, feeling like an embarrassed fifth grader when someone pulled his pants down and everyone laughed “You pour the drinks, I’m putting something more appropriate on” he said.

She turned towards the cupboard and he caught the corner of her smile.

He’s happy if his embarrassment had made her relax and smile again, that seemed like a worthwhile deal.

And yeah, he noticed when she was watching him change out of the corner of her eye.

She might have hit him up about wanting to have sex with him earlier today, but he’s pretty sure he gets the feeling that the want is mutual.

Surely there’s nothing wrong with adults having casual sex? They can be professional.

Once he had on a t-shirt and jeans, she’d already made herself at home on his small couch. He joined her and sat down, picking up the whiskey she had poured.

Clearly this woman could drink, at the amount of whiskey she had poured them. She hadn’t been light handed on the pour.

He was very aware of how close they were sitting.

His knee was touching hers, and it felt like his knee was on fire from the contact.

He took a sip of the whiskey and tried to ignore how hot the room suddenly felt.

She was here, in his room. And they were drinking.

Clearly there was attraction on both sides if the eyes she was giving him were anything to go off.

This could go down a very dangerous path right now.

And by dangerous path he meant the two of them fucking like wild animals.

He was only slightly scared about how crazy she probably was between the sheets, but mostly he was excited about the idea.

If that’s the thing that kills him on this deployment, he’d be okay with that.

They locked eyes.

She held his gaze over her glass as she sipped some more whisky.

“Your eyes are letting secrets slip again Tony” she purred.

God, his jeans sudden felt tight.

“Maybe that’s by purpose” he challenged. Not dropping his eyes from hers.

“Hmm” she downed her whole drink.

He downed his.

His head spun from the rush of a lot of alcohol in one go.

What was happening right now?

She stood and the couch dipped again as her knees planted themselves either side of his.

His head spun again, but not from the whiskey this time.

Her hands snaked onto his shoulders, and again her touch was extremely soft. He didn’t underestimate the power those hands probably had though, he’s seen some of it.

He cautiously touched his hands to her hips. His mouth felt dry when he attempted to speak.

“Do you think this is a good idea?” he asked. He had never ever, been the one to be reasonable when sex was on the table. But this was a whole other ballgame.

She leant down so her full weight was on his lap and her lips hovered in front of his.

“It is just sex yes?” she held his gaze, her eyes and lips smirking at him.

He supposes he’s already distracted by her, having sex would hopefully clear his mind so he could focus better.

Plus, sex with her? How would he ever live with himself if he passed up such a delicious offer?

She must have seen his mind being made in his eyes, because the next minute her soft lips were on his.

He had to hold back a moan when she leant further into him with her hips.

His hands gripped onto her hips tightly as he held back his urge to flip her onto her back already.

Her kisses were soft, hot and wet. She was gentle in her kisses at the start. But it didn’t take long for her tongue to find its way into his mouth.

And then her teeth pulled at his lower lip.

God.

If this was her kissing, he can only imagine how wildly amazing her sex is.

His hands found their way under her shirt, and he wasn’t sure if he should be worried, or laugh when his hand came in contact with a pistol tucked into the back of her pants. Probably a little of both.

When her hand grabbed his, he made sure to relax.

What had he got himself into now?

Right now, he didn’t care about anything other than her getting naked.

Even if it kills him.

“How many weapons am I going to find on you?” Tony cracked, making sure she knew he wasn’t going to take any of them off her. He didn’t want to die.

She smiled coyly at him and stood up.

“I want you on the bed” she instructed. Dominantly.

Now, he had never been into the dominant/submissive thing before, but suddenly he can see the excitement.

“Yes Ma’am” he replied. At his comment she leant down and bit his lip, a little harder it almost hurt. 

“Do not call me that” she whispered against his lips, he chuckled at how much that term had irritated her. He’ll remember that one.

When she stood back up she pulled him up by his t-shirt.

His excitement was very, very obvious in his jeans right now.

They ended up at the end of his bed and he couldn’t help but steal another passionate kiss with her. His hands were greedy on her, but so were hers on him.

“Off” she demanded, pulling at his shirt. He smirked as he lifted his shirt off and threw it somewhere.

“Maybe I should have stayed in the towel” he offered. Her hands went to the button on his jeans and his pulse jumped.

“Maybe” she whispered against his lips as she began kissing him again. He’s never had anyone kiss him quite like she is, there is just something in the way she does things with her mouth that drives him wild.

He really hopes he’s not going to embarrass himself with how long she’s going to make him last.

At this rate, it’s not going to take long.

However, he has a feeling she won’t be leaving until she gets hers either. He’s going to make damn well sure she’s going to get exactly what she came here for, he’s a man of respect in the bedroom.

His jeans drop to the floor and when her hands touch him, he has to hold his breath.

This time, he can’t hold back his moan “Fuck”. 

He cannot believe how good her hands feel. He can feel her smiling against his neck and all of sudden he’s pushed onto his back on the bed.

She is so dominant. It’s driving him crazy.

How is it he’s completed naked and she’s still head to toe dressed?

She looks down at him under teasing eyes. A smirk on her lips.

Oh, she is without a doubt enjoying teasing him to his wits end. She enjoys it far too much, but he’s not complaining.

She lifts her shirt over her head and her breasts are full and sitting pretty in black lace. Her skin is caramel all over. Wow.

She’s so beautiful.

“You’re so-“ he began as he sat up, wanted to tell her but her finger pressed to his lips.

“Sshhh” she purred. He knows she knew what he was going to say, maybe his eyes told her all she needs to know?

Maybe she doesn’t want to hear affectionate words from him? This was just sex after all.

A knife was removed from her bra and her gun from her cargo pants.

He chuckled.

She unbuttoned her pants and they fell to the floor. There was a heavy cluck onto the floor so he suspected some other weapon was in her pants.

He’s never thought a woman strapped up with weapons would do it for him, but he’d never been so turned on in his life like he was right now.

She was so deadly.

That was meant to scary, but he’s so aroused at the thought right now.

He kind of understands why chicks always go for bad boys now, cause Ziva is definitely a bad girl and he’s so into it.

And yes, she had black lace to match the top on the bottom.

His hands went to her hips then and his fingers traced down her left side where she had a knife holster on her thigh. He’s pretty sure she didn’t buy that at the lingerie store. But in Israel, he probably wouldn’t be surprised. 

He didn’t dare touch the knife though.

“Is this staying?” he asked looking up at her. She was smiling again. Her smile was so contagious.

He doesn’t know why she doesn’t smile more at work. She’s beautiful.

“No, but do not be worried if I keep it close” she let him know. He’s not surprised. She was a trained killer, it’s probably a habit.

“I better do a good job so I don’t lose any bits then” he smirked. She chuckled.

Her laugh was throaty and unique. Just like everything else about her, he couldn’t get enough of it.

He watched as she unclipped her knife and placed it on his bedside table, sending him a wink.

Then, her bra went and her panties followed quickly after.

The lights were still on so he could see her in full. The caramel skin was everywhere and he wonders if she takes the time to sunbath naked to look like that?

Most woman he’s slept with have turned the lights off by this point but Ziva, she wasn’t afraid to show him every inch of her body.

And damn, it was delicious.

His hands reached out to touch as she climbed over him and began kissing him again.

Her nakedness on his, made him see stars.

Then her teeth were nibbling at his lip again and she brought them together at the hips. He had to hold her there for a moment to regain his composure.

She was hot, and very wet.

Wow.

She wasn’t shy about getting hers first, not one bit. He had to use all his strength to not give in to the sweet release, because he wanted her to have hers again before he decides this moment was over.

Surprising to him, she lets him flip her over.

This time, he dominated her. And yeah, it seemed like she liked it too. When she lets out a loud moan and lets go again, he joins her.

Holy fuck.

He can’t breathe.

He thinks he’s gone blind but his eyes clear and he’s looking down at a sweaty, very relaxed Ziva.

This, was a sight he would very much like to see again.

Somehow, she was even more beautiful.

She looked so different right this second to the woman who stands tall and strong at work. It was almost like she was sharing a secret part of herself with him.

And sex with Ziva, was better than he ever imagined it being.

He didn’t think she would be one for a cuddle, so he didn’t try initiate one.

He watched as she got up and wondered over to his fridge. She bent over to reach into the fridge and the angle of her ass had him thinking all sorts of other naughty things.

She definitely is going to kill him before he leaves the country.

She returned to the bed with two beers and handed him one.

“See anything you like yet?” he asked, referring to their earlier conversation.

She chuckled.

“I guess you will never know” she said, smiling around her beer.

“Oh, I think I know” he winked, and again she chuckled. Yes, he could tell just how much she liked it.

It fell silent between them for a while, not that it was awkward. Somehow it was a comfortable silence.

“Tony?” Ziva stirred him from his heavy eyelids which were falling.

“Yeah?” he asked, sitting up a bit more and opening his eyes. Looking at her he realised she was already dressed and standing next to the bed “Sorry, did I fall asleep?” he laughed. She really had rocked his socks off if he’d fallen asleep sitting up.

He wasn’t upset at seeing her dressed, it’s just sex right?

And damn good sex it had been.

“Yes, I think you were also storing” she poked. He liked this Ziva, she was so different to the one he’s seen at work. And the way she got her English wrong, made him laugh.

“Snoring Ziva” he corrected. She looked confused, but shrugged.

“Thank you” she said. He wasn’t sure what she was thanking him for as all of a sudden her voice was softer.

Was she thanking him for correcting her? The drink? The sex? Or helping her relax without question with what happened today?

Maybe all of them.

“Anytime” he returned.

He wasn’t sure if this would happen again, but he hoped it would. However, he wouldn’t push her on it.

She sent him a smile, and then her armour was back on. Mossad Ziva was back.

He watched her as she stopped at his door and looked out the window, assessing whether the coast was clear or not, and she was gone just like that.

Tony had never felt so relaxed in his life, and after such a stressful couple of weeks.

Ziva’s sex was like a drug, he just hopes he doesn’t form an addiction because that could end up in all sorts of sticky situations.

No pun intended.


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BTW sorry if the formatting in my chapters suck, I’m so used to typing my Police documents like this now with all the excessive spaces (that’s how work likes it for official paperwork shit blah blah) and I can’t seem to break the habit haha   
> If it seriously irks anyone, let me know and I’ll try sort it out.

** Chapter Six **

The next day at work, Ziva was Ziva and it was like nothing had happened the night before. She clearly knew how to separate professional and dirty sex meet ups from each other.

That was probably a good thing, if anyone found out he would either be sent home by his boss or have his favourite body part chopped off by her boss.

Every now and then however, he would catch a look in her eye when they caught each other’s glances. He had a feeling she would return for more.

No one else seemed to pick up on this silent communication, so that was good.

They were all in the main office set aside for their operation, going through evidence. Ezra walked into the middle of the big desk that centred the room. This is where they were going through the evidence.

“I found this guy in the system. A nobody really. Levi Abeles. Small history with petty crimes, burglary’s. Nothing on this level. He served with the IDF for 4 years. Nothing sticks out alarmingly” Ezra explained to the group.

“And he clearly doesn’t have an assassins aim” Tony explained, otherwise him and Ziva would have been a lot worse off than they had been following yesterday’s attack.

Ziva nodded in agreement to his statement.

“Expendable body in the main scheme of things perhaps?” Ziva put in her theory. Tony was thinking similar.

“Has he got any groups he’s a part of or online groups?” Sarah put forward. A place to meet other like-minded people or for someone to pick him out and mould him to do as they like.

“Azriel is working on that angle, he’s more into the computer stuff” Ezra began “So far though, nothing sticks out” he finished.

“The main person we are dealing with here has some serious training, skills and knowledge of how you guys operate, not to make any upsetting jumps to conclusion, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he was a part of Mossad at some point” Tony offered. All three Mossad agents looked at him warily.

“I agree with Tony, that or they’ve had seriously similar training. But the Mossad theory also makes more sense to why they might be targeting the organization” Derek continued.

“Someone might not be such a fan of our new partnership with the U.S” Azriel spoke up. Work related conversation was okay.

“Agreed. We have had a few members not happy with the decision” Ziva went on.

Likely theory? Possibly.

“Obviously we can keep the idea on the table, but we aren’t pointing any fingers yet” Tony stated. He saw the faces of the three Mossad as he brought up the idea initially. Denial. But once the thought was placed, it made sense and they took it on board.

He doesn’t want to start pointing fingers in this organization until they have something credible. Evidence first, then they can point fingers.

“I will handle any internal investigations in our organization” Ziva stated. Even though they had a U.S partnership, the American agents wouldn’t be allowed near any official Mossad documentation.

And they understood that. Just like Mossad wasn’t allowed to dig deep into their sources. Tony still suspected they had found the same information in some other way, and knew everything they needed to. Not everyone was accepted on this deployment and he had a feeling Mossad intelligence had something to do with that.

He wonders if Ziva has read his intelligence file?

Maybe. She’d probably make sure he was a safe bet before deciding to get naked with him. She did have her knife within arm’s reach if she needed, but he’s sure she’s the kind of woman who assessed anyone she was going to sleep with.

Not that he didn’t think she could probably kill him with her bare hands.

He could feel Ziva looking at him. She must have noticed his distracted mind, even if it had only been for a second.

“The firearm?” she asked Ezra, but looking at Tony. He met her gaze.

“Unsure, most likely black market at this point. Serial number is long gone. It’s with the forensics guy downstairs to see what we can get” Ezra explained. She held his gaze that whole time.

“I want something from that” Ziva turned to Ezra. He nodded. Obviously it was out of his control if they find anything, but just like everyone else Ziva was desperate to find something.

They all stuck their noses back into their evidence, desperate to find something before someone else gets hurt.

* * *

A few hours later, the sun was long gone and it was well passed dinner time and Abbott came into the office, two males in tow with what looked like some form of takeout. The males placed the takeout containers on a free space on the desk and left the office.

Tony only then just noticed they’d all missed lunch and his stomach was grumbling at the smell of hot food.

“Dinner is on me team, I noticed no one turned up to eat, so here you go” Abbott stated. Abbott was a good boss, he reminded Tony of Gibbs, but with a smile and fifty percent more emotional character and communication abilities.

Everyone was quick to eye up the containers and make a selection. Ziva was more tame, waiting until everyone else had made their choice before grabbing a meal. Even though he’d seen snippets of a different her, she was always so professional. 

“I know you guys have been working hard at this, and we all want to get this bastard. But, you all need your rest. Work as late as you must, but I don’t want to see anyone in this office tomorrow” Abbott informed them.

Tony was ecstatic. He was so tired mentally from the last few weeks.

And Abbott was right, if they don’t rest, their minds won’t focus as well as they could. If they want to catch this killer they needed to be on the top of their game.

Tony saw Ziva though, she looked hesitant. Tony wouldn’t be surprised if she’s never had a day off since she was a child. Sure, she seemed relaxed when they had sex, but it didn’t take long for the professional ninja armour to be back on and she was Mossad again.

Tony almost felt bad for her. Was it her choice to be a part of Mossad? Was it an unspoken thing that had to happen because of her father?

Tony hoped she was here because this is what she loved to do. Him, he was a cop because he liked to help people. In his youth, he went through things after his mother died and he always wanted to make life better for those he could.

He feels like that’s why he jokes around so much, as long as people are laughing he doesn’t care if it’s at him, at least they are laughing.

Ziva looked as though she was going to protest the direction to not to come into work, but Tony saw her glance at everyone in the room and saw how tired everyone looked. She may have the strength to push on, but Tony noticed she didn’t have it in her to force that on anyone else.

There was that glimpse of the Ziva he’d seen in his bedroom.

She was a layer of mystery this woman, and he wanted to know so, so much more.

Abbott was looking at Ziva, he too realised she was the main one he had to convince. Ziva sent a nod to him, and Abbott returned it.

“Right team, enjoy the time. You’ll need it” he finished and left the room. Abbott didn’t spend much time with the team on the investigation, but Tony knew that wasn’t his role. He was there to control from the top, inform the big wigs back home, have discussions with Director David. Holding down the team from the top.

Tony leant back in his chair and cracked open his takeout. It smelt so damn good. He had no idea what it was, but he knows it’s going to last about ten seconds before he inhales the whole thing.

“Oh my god, this is delicious” he all but moaned. Everyone had similar looks on their faces, the statement was mutual. When his eyes caught Ziva’s, there was a certain spark in her eyes. Yeah, she’d heard a moan from him somewhat similar before and that caught her attention for sure.

Interesting.

The more he picked up on the hints of her desire for him, made her all that much more addicting to think about.

* * *

He’d slept in the next morning and that made him feel so much more refreshed. He’d agreed to join Derek for a workout about midday and he’d slept just a bit too much that he felt the need to burn the extra energy. It was a good day.

He spoke to Kate and Abby on the phone last night when he got home. They had both been out on the wines and it had been a good feeling to hear the two of them laugh and poke jokes at him. He misses the team, but he also feels like when this is over he will miss this team too.

He made a mental note to try and catch up with the team back home a bit more often. It helped ease the stress.

Obviously he didn’t let them know just how bad it was over here, he didn’t want the two of them (mainly Abby) breaking down and getting upset. If that was the case he wouldn’t be surprised if Abby flew over, drugged him and dragged him back home. She was a protective one, that was for sure.

That secret was clearly safe with Gibbs still.

Just as he finished putting on some workout gear, Buckeye sweatshirt and shorts, Derek knocked on his door.

“Ready man?” he smiled. Derek was pumped, but he went to the gym everyday anyways. That was his thing, no matter how tired he was. Tony didn’t understand how he did it, but then again him and Tony have had very different experiences.

“As I’ll ever be” Tony replied. Tony liked the gym, to work out, but he only dabbled every now and then. His biceps definitely weren’t the committed size that Derek’s were.

They walked to the gym complex and Derek was informing Tony about his phone call with his wife last night.

“She doesn’t just want kids, she’s now decided that she wants to get a horse” Derek sighed. Tony laughed. Sometimes, he’s glad he’s a single man.

“I’m pretty sure being pregnant and riding a horse do not exactly go together?” Tony raised his eyebrows in amusement.

Derek ran a hand over his face and let out a deep breath “She’s got so many ideas, I swear everyday she just comes up with something new because she’s bored and drinks too much wine with her girlfriends, and they come up with all these ideas” he laughed.

“I kid you not, last month they came up with the idea to open a petting zoo” at that Tony was in hysterics “Honestly brother, don’t do it”

“Start a petting zoo?” Tony asked.

“Get locked down” Derek laughed. Tony joined in.

“She’s your world” Tony saw it, pulled him on his joke. A soft smile pulled across Derek’s face.

“Yeah” he said softly “Takes a special woman though” Derek explained.

“To put up with your shit, yes” Tony threw back. They laughed.

And for the briefest moment, Tony wondered if Ziva would ever settle down in life, or would she stay loyal to the job and just have hot sex whenever she had an itch?

Thinking of the devil herself, as Derek and Tony walked into the gym they could hear loud banging noises. Derek lifted his eyebrows in wonder to Tony. What the heck was that?

They walked around the corner to where the gym open up into a large room, weights and machines on the outside and soft mats in the middle of the room.

In the middle of the room was Ziva, Azriel and Ezra.

Ziva and Azriel were on one of the large mats and it looked as though they were… fighting? Azriel was getting up off the ground from where he had been and Ziva was standing, fists up, bouncing on her toes.

Wow.

Derek and Tony walked towards the spectacle, because to Tony, that’s exactly what it was.

Ziva was sweaty, in tight black yoga pants and a black bra. Her hands were wrapped in boxing wraps, but no gloves. And… was that blood on her fists?

Ziva and Azriel didn’t stop to swap pleasantries when Tony and Derek reached the edge of the mat where Ezra stood, they were focused.

Ezra turned to say hi, and he had a black eye forming on his face. However with the smile he offered, it’s like he didn’t even realise.

“Dude, you have a black eye?” Tony stated. Ezra smiled.

“Yeah, Ziva likes to push us to our limits” Ezra replied. As he stated that, Azriel went to strike Ziva and she spun on him, dumping him to the mat on his back again.

Jesus.

And by the look on Derek’s face he was thinking the same.

“I’ve seen a lot in my time, but Ziva is from a whole other planet” Derek stated. That statement coming from a Seal, that was impressive.

Tony couldn’t decide if he was scared or turned on at the sight.

It was definitely a mixture of both.

Next, they saw Azriel really go for Ziva, try and take her down. He managed to get her in a head lock and he pinned her on the ground. Tony thought this was some crazy shit straight out of the UFC, but in the UFC females don’t fight males.

Ziva caught Azriel with a blow to the shoulder that made him release, they traded a few punches to the body while on the ground and then Ziva pinned his arm out, legs across his chest in the arm bar. Azriel tapped out.

That’s when Ziva’s eyes met his, they were dark. He saw a cross between excitement and adrenaline. This was her element.

“Who is next?” she asked them, smirking. She was looking at Tony, she knew who she wanted on the mat. And yes, he was scared now. She would eat him alive. Sure, he knew how to have a good scrap and come out on top, but she will actually murder him.

“Derek” he said, pushing his friend forward. Derek looked at him wide eyed.

“Dude, are you crazy?” he stated, laughing.

“Do not be shy boys” Ziva stated, still smirking. Oh, yes. She enjoyed making a fool out of men in an element like this.

“At least you know special fighting shit, I just punch and hope for the best” Tony shrugged, winking at his friend.

Derek dropped his drink bottle and towel.

“Why not, but you’re next Tony” Derek agreed.

“No way” Tony replied, looking for an escape route but he was stuck between Ezra and Azriel who both gave him looks, telling him he was going nowhere.

“That he is” Ziva confirmed. Tony swallowed hard.

Fuck.

He can’t decide what is going to be worse, getting beat up by Ziva or if something embarrassing happens when he gets turned on when he rolls around all sweaty with her on the mat.

He guesses he’s dead either way, at least he can enjoy watching Derek getting his ass beat first.

“Rules?” Derek asked as he walked into the middle of the mat facing Ziva.

“No rules, this is life or death” she replied. Yeah, Mossad don’t fuck around.

Derek went for the first move, but Ziva saw it easy. She side stepped, tapped his ankles and he fell.

“Wow, you’re not kidding” Derek replied as he stood back up.

“Do not be afraid to hit me, I can handle it” she replied, she was focused again. Ninja mode.

Her comment stung Tony slightly, if she thinks she can handle it, what the hell has she been through in the past? Derek isn’t a small guy. And he was a Seal. Tony almost felt… upset. Weird.

Derek shrugged and really went for Ziva that time. He got a couple blows in, shoulder, ribs. Ziva countered with a stomach and liver. They were both breathing heavy now. Derek seemed to put up a good fight against her that’s for sure.

You could see on Ziva’s face that she loved the challenge, appreciated the fact Derek wasn’t going soft on her because she is a female. She clearly liked the challenge.

Then, Ziva got Derek into a headlock from behind. They ended up on the floor and maybe because Derek’s shoulders were too big and he’d hit the weights too heavy, he couldn’t reach that far back to get her. He tapped out.

The smirk on Ziva’s face told Tony that she’d read his muscle definition and had done that by purpose. Knowing he wouldn’t be able to reach her in that position.

Derek laughed and they shook hands.

“Damn Ziva, I hope no one ever messes with you” Derek stated. She smirked. And then her eyes settled on Tony. That sparkle was there.

Shit.

He was in trouble.

“I dunno if this is a good idea…” he tried to back up, but all three of the boys pushed him into the centre.

“I suggest you lose the jersey, if you would like to survive” Ziva stated. Was this her attempt to get him naked? He didn’t have a shirt on under his hoddie.

“I don’t have a shirt, I like just a sweatshirt” Tony complained.

“Your funeral” she replied. Tony looked at the boys, they all nodded their heads. Loose clothing with a hood and cords in a fight, certain death.

Oh well then.

Tony lifted his sweatshirt off and threw it to the side. Derek blew a wolf whistle at him. Ziva didn’t shift her eyes from his. She’s seen him naked, so she knows, and she’s not going to check him out when the guys are clearly watching.

Then she winked at him with a smirk.

And lunged at him.

She went to grab but he slipped the move, she went to strike and got him. He didn’t think he had it in him to hit her back.

Maybe he had to play a little dirty on this one.

He grabbed her high inner thigh, and yes for a moment she hesitated as his hands had been in a similar spot just a few nights ago for a totally different reason. That was his opening.

He got her on her chest, and thought he could get her in a headlock from behind possibly. He did do a bit of wrestling at school, so he had an idea of what he was doing.

But then all of a sudden she did some sort of flip and his head was suddenly between her thighs. In a headlock.

He saw her smirk. Yeah, she can play dirty too.

His airways were restricted, he couldn’t seem to move. But, weirdly he was not too upset about his current position. He did have his head between her legs after all, and the thought of going down on her was all he could think of in that moment.

And, she probably knew that this position would have just that reaction.

Very dirty move.

He was so distracted by the sexual thought of going down on her, he totally forgot about his breathing and the fact he should be tapping out.

And so, that was when he passed out.

Good one DiNozzo.

He came to quick when a heap of water hit his face.

“Dude, do you know what tapping out is?” Derek laughed in his face. Tony sat up, slightly dizzy.

His hazy eyes caught Ziva’s as she towelled down her neck and took a drink “What can I say, I’m committed to lasting as long as I can” he replied.

“Committed alright” Ezra agreed.

And yeah, the boys didn’t get the sexual innuendo but the way Ziva halted her bottle halfway to her mouth and stared at him. Eyes as black as the night sky, the same colour they went when he was naked on top of her right before she let go for the second time the other night, told him she heard him loud and clear.

And she liked it.

He was playing in the danger zone now.

“If you guys want there’s a get together down at the hangers tonight” Ezra then announced.

“Mossad party of sorts?” Derek asked. Ezra laughed.

“Something like that” Ezra smiled “Right Ziva?”

Ziva face looked as though she wasn’t committed to the idea as yet “I do not know, you know how I feel about those things Ezra” she replied. Tony wasn’t sure what the look on her face was right now.

Ezra softened “Come on Ziva, you need to let yourself relax” Ezra replied. Ziva didn’t look so relaxed.

“I will think about it” she replied. Ezra left it at that.

“Boys? Bring Sarah too if she wants” Ezra looked back to them. Derek looked at Tony and he shrugged back.

“Why not, I need a drink after this” Tony stated. Derek and Ezra laughed. Azriel, he smiled. Tony couldn’t help but notice Ziva was still slightly tense.

“I’ll pick you guys up at your rooms at about seven then” Ezra locked in the idea.

“We will see you then” Derek replied and they all went their separate ways.

Tony couldn’t help but notice how Ezra talked quietly with Ziva as they walked across the gym. Her eyes looked over in his direction then, but only for the briefest moment.

He wonders why she didn’t like these gatherings? Because if the other night told him anything, she liked to drink and she liked to relax.

Maybe if he goes, she might?

He hopes so.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT, go forward and enjoy! If you’ve noticed, this fic is quite smutty haha   
> Thanks to those who have shared their reviews with me, means a lot to know my writing is still appreciated after my disappearing act for a few years! And also, that people still adore and obsess over Tony and Ziva ♥  
> Danni

** Chapter Seven **

Tony was somewhat nervous and he didn’t know why. He was looking forward to drinks with everyone. Currently Sarah, Derek and him were having little pre-drinks at Derek’s place. He wasn’t too sure of what the dress code was so he’d gone with tidy casual. Dark jeans with a red plaid long sleeve, left open with a white t-shirt underneath.

He felt he’d picked alright when Derek and Sarah had been wearing a similar level of dress. Derek was in a plain black t-shirt and jeans, Sarah had a casual off white summer dress on with little flowers on it. They all scrubbed up alright.

Ezra and Azriel arrived and they all walked to the more military side of the Mossad compound. This was where all the plane, vehicle and weapon hangers were. They tried to take alcohol with them but Ezra assured them it definitely wasn’t needed.

Tony couldn’t help but notice Ziva wasn’t there. It made him feel a little disheartened.

They could hear the music as they got closer.

“So what is this thing exactly?” Sarah asked. Tony and Derek were thinking the same. They didn’t actually know what they were getting themselves into.

“Well its like a on base bar, but because the bosses don’t allow us to have an actual bar, we just use one of the empty hangers. The bosses don’t ask and we don’t tell. It’s almost like a quiet agreement. Especially in times like this when its safer to be on base, then off base” Ezra explained. They all understood at that point. Made sense, especially with a culture who generally frowns against alcohol, but then at the same time clearly a lot of people embrace it.

But in a job like theirs, sometimes the alcohol helps relieve the stress.

Tony definitely finds himself drinking more than he should sometimes after a hard day at work.

They arrived at the hanger and it definitely sounded like a bar. Outside there were people sharing hookah at some tables, drinking.

When they walked into the large hanger doors there were lots of people inside. Tables all around, some people dancing. There was a bar set up to one side of the hanger serving drinks with a couple of people tending the bar.

The music blaring was some kind of upbeat stuff that was in Hebrew. There were some dim lights around the place and a few flashing lights. This really was the coolest thing he’d seen before.

It was so unique.

And the main thing it made him feel, that even though most these people were Mossad or IDF, they were humans themselves. They liked to party, they liked to have a good time.

One thing he couldn’t help but notice was most of them still have firearms on them. But he knows that’s not abnormal for Mossad and IDF, its normal. It just seemed strange in a bar. But hey, he’s all about different experiences.

He’d slept with a deadly weapon toting woman after all.

“I’ll get first round” Azriel announced “Preferences?” he asked. Tony thought that was the first set of non-work related words that had come out of Azriel’s mouth since he’d met him.

“Anything dude” Derek replied and Tony and Sarah agreed with a nod.

Azriel smiled and headed for the bar.

“This place is so cool” Sarah stated. Tony agreed, yes it was. The only thing that would have made it cooler would have been a 5’7” curly haired Israeli badass, who is a caramel skinned goddess naked. 

Don’t get him wrong, there’s probably a lot of women in this place similar to that description, but he’s thinking about one person in particular.

He found it weird, all the beautiful women he’d seen on the way in, he didn’t have a single thought to check them out. That was so un-Tony of him. The only thing his eyes searched for was any sign of Ziva.

He couldn’t help but notice there were far more men in here then women. He guessed that was the standard ratio in this business.

Azriel returned with some beers and a whole bottle of… something. It was a clear bottle, white liquid. He saw Derek smile, he clearly knew what it was.

Azriel put the beers down and someone else put a bunch of shot glasses on the table a disappeared. Azriel smirked. As quiet as that man was, Tony suddenly had a feeling he was all about having a good time.

Azriel started pouring them some shots.

“Now, what is that?” Sarah asked the thing that was on his mind.

“Arak, it is a traditional drink” Azriel explained.

“Tastes like liquorice” Derek explained.

They all grabbed a shot when Azriel finished pouring. They held them in the centre and clicked glasses.

“L'chayim” Azriel stated. Tony wasn’t sure what that meant but he guessed it was some form of cheers.

They all threw back their shots. Tony thought the drink was smooth, he liked it.

“To life” Azriel translated “Our version of your American ‘cheers’” Azriel informed. Tony liked that, L'chayim.

The table got chatting and drinking. At one point Azriel was in a deep conversation with Derek and Sarah about camels. It was random, but watching Azriel talk that much made him smile.

Tony took up his opportunity to talk to Ezra who was next to him.

“No Ziva?” Tony asked. Ezra shrugged.

“I thought she might turn up, but I guess not” Ezra said before taking another sip of his beer.

“How come she doesn’t like this place?” Tony questioned, trying his luck. Ezra looked at him for a minute, assessing him for a moment.

Tony thought Ezra was probably calculating whether or not to share such information with him. Ziva was clearly Ezra’s friend. But, it seemed as though Tony passed the test.

“She likes this place, it’s the people that Ziva has an issue with” Ezra informed him. Tony couldn’t help but notice Ezra was talking a little quieter.

“Particular ones?” Tony asked. He was definitely curious now.

“A few. She’s got some bad blood with some people. Most of the time she just doesn’t like the attention” Ezra explained.

“Attention?” Tony asked.

“A lot of the guys almost treat her like a sport, if they can get in bed with her they like to skite about it to everyone. She’s a badass and everyone knows it. So they treat her like a piece of meat in a way and it pisses her off” Ezra explained. That information made Tony feel sick. What the hell was wrong with people?

“That’s fucking horrible” Tony exclaimed. He’d slept with her, and yes she was delicious. But he didn’t see it as a triumph to show off to his friends.

“Yeah” Ezra looked at him again, assessing “She used to be a bit more out there and fun with this stuff, but after a while when she realised why guys were sleeping with her she just stopped coming out. It sucks, she’s all work and no play these days” Ezra seemed a little down about that.

Tony could tell they were good friends.

He’s also surprised Ezra had told him so much, but maybe he saw something in him.

All of a sudden Tony realized that Ziva sleeping with him meant a lot more. Clearly she trusted him in some way, at least that he wasn’t in it just to skite about it. Maybe that’s why she had slept with him, she saw his desire for her. There was nothing else to it, simple, heavy sexual desire to sleep with her.

“However, she’s got me into many fist fights over the years because of it” Ezra said, this time his voice was lighter and he was laughing thinking back to the memories.

“You fight these guys when you find out?” Tony asked, having a chuckle with Ezra.

Ezra shook his head “She picks a fight with them, I have to try and break it up” Ezra laughed some more. Tony could only imagine. He wouldn’t ever think of treating Ziva, or any woman like that.

* * *

Three beers and two shots later, the bar was full of people and it was dark now. The only light was the flicker of dance lights and the light that illuminated the bar. Tony was having a good time. Azriel was definitely a totally different person in this environment. 

“Ziva, you made it” he heard Azriel’s voice perk up. Did he hear right?

He turned to the direction of Azriel’s gaze. And there she was.

Curly hair out, and longer and curlier than he remembered when it was out like that. She wore a black, silk looking small strap singlet with some dark blue cargo pants. His mouth suddenly went dry.

She reached the table and stood between him and Ezra. His body was suddenly hot when her arm brushed against his as she leant over the table to reach for the Arak bottle.

“How far behind am I?” she asked Azriel. Azriel smirked.

“Three” he replied. Ziva smirked. Tony noticed it was slightly guarded but he had a feeling that had nothing to do with anyone at the table, more her worries about other people in the bar. He watched her pour three shots.

“Well, I better catch up then” she replied. She downed all the shots, one, two, three, just like that. She licked her lips to get the residue there.

Tony didn’t know if the way he stared was obvious, but right now he couldn’t help it.

She turned to him and helped herself to one of the beers lined up in front of him. He saw a sparkle behind her slightly guarded gaze. “I guess I am on next round, yes?” she turned back to the table.

“Without a doubt” Ezra stated. He and Tony shared a quiet look of appreciation that she’d shown up after their conversation.

In this look, they agreed to keep an eye out on Ziva. Tony didn’t know why Ezra was trusting him suddenly, but he wasn’t going to let the guy down.

He’d fight anyone for her.

And suddenly, he was surprised by his own protectiveness.

* * *

Ziva had slightly relaxed as the time went on, no one had bothered her while she was at their table. It was like no one would approach the group. Maybe because the group had the only strangers in the bar, the Americans, and people weren’t sure about that.

By now Tony was a few more beers and shots deep and he was feeling that tingly buzz of getting to a really good level of drunk. Now that Ziva was here, the night was perfect. He guesses by the way he’d caught Ziva looking at him every now and then, the night was only going to get better.

He was currently in line, getting the next round of drinks.

Suddenly there was a hand touching his hip and a hot breath on the side of his neck. He was slightly started but when she spoke, he relaxed.

“Meet me out the back exit, 20 minutes, walk 400m to your left” she whispered, so quiet he almost didn’t hear it. Before he could turn to meet her gaze, she was walking in the other direction. He watched the way her hips swung as she stepped.

Tactical deliverance of a secret meet up message. So fast, no one would notice in a crowded bar.

Suddenly his pants felt tight. He smirked.

Yes, by the sounds of it his night was about to get even better.

As he waited in the bar line, his thoughts of naked Ziva were swirling in his head. What had she planned? Where were they going?

He took a deep breath in, he really needed to relax himself and come up with a reasonable strategy to tell the team why he was going to be gone a while. They were all investigators after all, and if he wasn’t careful someone would get suspicious. 

The fact that this was breaking the rules and getting caught gave it some danger, made this all the more sexy. He felt like a teenager again, meeting up with a girl behind the bleachers.

By the time he got the next round of drinks his timing for an exit was almost ready.

He placed the drinks down on the table. Ziva was already gone and no one seemed suspicious as of yet. Hopefully the fact everyone was starting to get drunk was helping that.

“I got to hit the head team” Tony said, still holding a beer as he looked to exit.

“With a beer?” Sarah asked. Of course the only female left around thought taking a beer to the bathroom was weird.

“Breakfast and lunch are ready to make an exit, it might take a while and I don’t want to get dehydrated” Tony replied. The guys laughed, but Sarah pulled a disgusted face.

“That’s gross Tony” she shook her head and he laughed before turning and making his exit. That seemed to work and probably left him with a good amount of time to be AWOL.

He weaved his way through the bar and the masses of people, eventually making his way to the back door. He walked out and the moon was high and full, lighting the sky. There were a few people out the back, mainly people smoking and they gave him a strange look, nothing abnormal as he’s had that look all night. He’s foreign to their inner circles, so why was he in their bar?

They all knew they were welcome though, as they came with their own people. It didn’t stop a few people giving unapproving looks. Not everyone approved of their presence here. Tony just sent them a friendly smile and tipped his beer at them, turned left, and walked.

He passed a few hangers, and his eyes were searching, looking for her. He didn’t even see her when a hand grabbed his wrist and pulled him into the door of a hanger. The door closed and hot lips were on his immediately.

His free hand that wasn’t holding his beer went to her waist and the soft silk of her top on his hand made all sorts of sensations tingle through him. Her lips were greedy on his, and his greedy on hers. They parted only when they had run out of breath.

Her eyes were dark, full of sparkles. There was no guarded look there anymore. Her lust was rolling off her in waves. She didn’t say a word, just sent him and smirk and grabbed his hand in hers.

She dragged him deeper into the hanger, between the multiple military vehicles parked inside. He placed his beer on one of the vehicles, he needed both of his hands free for this. They stopped in the middle, somewhere deep and hidden in between the vehicles.

Before he could say anything, her lips were demanding on his again. As much as he liked to talk, he didn’t mind using his mouth for something else right this minute.

Both his hands went to her waist this time and he felt himself backing her up until she touched something and he could press all his weight into her. She definitely wasn’t protesting that action, not when the hum of appreciation came from her as she kissed him.

Her tongue was greedy on his, everything about this was greedy. Her hands, her lips. She craved him as much as he did her.

Her hands went under his shirt and up his chest, brushing his nipples. Her hands were hot on his skin. He hummed in appreciation right back at her. Then her hands went down and hit the top of his belt, with all sorts of intentions as she undid the buckle.

He was harder than he’d ever been.

He was out of breath and when he broke the kiss for air her lips didn’t stop, they went straight to his neck, licking and sucking. He moaned and he felt her smirk against his neck.

His hands clung so firmly to her hips when her hands relieved him of his pants and boxers, when her hot little hands gripped him. His breath hitched then and his legs felt like jelly. Her hands didn’t let him catch his breath when she started to stroke him, in all sorts of delicious ways.

“Fuck” he pressed out, and suddenly his hands became almost desperate on her own belt.

Her hands only left him briefly as she unclipped the pistol on her waist and placed it on the hood of the vehicle behind her. She shot him a devilish smile and her lips and hands were back on him.

The direction he was headed, was obviously exactly where she wanted it to go.

He’s also not sure he’ll ever get used to the fact she’s always got a weapon on her somewhere. But, he’s relaxing more about it. After his chat with Ezra, the fact she lets him this close meant millions.

His hands fought with her belt, but eventually he got that and her pants free and everything, including her almost non-existent underwear dropped on the floor. He smiled into her mouth when he felt the knife strapped to her thigh.

He pulled back and smiled at her. He watched her face as he dropped to his knees, there was curiosity and surprise all over her face. He wondered if anyone she had slept with had put her needs first.

Tony’s hands rid her of her shoes, because he needed those pants gone from her ankles. Legs and feet bare, he ran his hands slowly up her thighs. They were strong, caramel and delicious. He’d never seen legs so mesmerising before.

He left her knife where it was and his lips touched her left hip, oh so lightly. Her legs twitched at the contact. He looked up to her and her eyes held a sudden unsurety to them. Yes, clearly no one had put her needs first quite like this.

He wanted to show her that she was important, enough to be treated in respect of that when it comes to sex. That she wasn’t just a piece of meat for his own satisfaction.

He gave her a soft smile then. One that showed her it was okay, she can trust him. Her gaze softened a little, but he could tell she was a little hesitant still. She would trust him and he wont take that for granted. He hasn’t since the first night she shared his bed.

His tongue touched her most sensitive part and her hands fisted into his hair. God, she was already so hot and wet. Her heat tasted so good and his mouth was greedy, but gentle with her.

His fingers slipped into her and he felt how tight she was around him. This right here, he knew was going to be the absolute highlight of his night. Going down on her, was a new addiction in all sorts of sexy ways.

He didn’t rush this, either. He suddenly wished he had all night long with her.

He loved to go down on a woman, but there was something even more amazing about doing it with Ziva. He didn’t know what it was, but everything about her drove him wild.

He stroked her, tasted her. He felt when she was close. She gripped around his fingers, her hands pulled his hair harder. Then she let go, her lips let a moan escape and he tasted her pleasure. His head was spinning, his own desire throbbing with need at the experience.

He rose to his feet and was met with a beautiful woman with flushed cheeks and midnight black eyes.

Her lips were on his without missing a beat and she lifted her leg up then and propped it on the front of the vehicle she leant against. The invitation was one he could not resist any longer.

He pressed against her and let himself slip into her. He held himself there for a moment, not moving. Gaining some composure before he embarrasses himself. She has a habit of causing that reaction in him without even trying.

She moaned, he moaned.

He moved against her, picking up a steady rhythm to his hips. He noticed her knife strap digging into his hip, but right now he could care less.

Her lips dropped away from his as she arched backwards, her hands gripping the bars on the front of the vehicle and her eyes rolling backwards. His hands went to her ass and pulled her up slightly and she wrapped her legs around his waist.

He picked up his pace, firmer, deeper. For a moment he wondered if her back was okay, but clearly looking at her body almost shaking in pleasure, she had no qualms to what he was doing.

He suddenly wished she was fully naked so he could get his lips around one of those perfect little breasts of hers. That thought only made him go harder.

She began to grip very tightly around him in that tell tale way and her mouth was making all sorts of noises that made him go crazy.

She let go around him and her body was shaking in his hands as he let go too.

He fell into her softly and her legs slipped down, unable to hold them up as she rode some aftershocks. His lips kissed her soft neck gently.

Her hands snaked around his neck slowly, tenderly.

“Thank you for trusting me” he spoked quietly against her neck, referring to when she let him go down on her.

“I do not trust often. But you are… different” she replied.

He slipped out from her slowly and at the separation they both let out a soft gasp. He then looked down at her, still holding himself against her.

“I won’t abuse that trust” he explained. This conversation was heading somewhere far to serious for just sex. And they both felt that.

She smiled at him softly, something in her eyes then that he couldn’t pick. Appreciation? She kissed him softly. The quiet, unspoken thank you.

“We should get back” he then stated. She nodded in agreement. As much as they were both enjoying this, they were equally panicking just as much at the sudden feeling of how right they felt together in that moment.

_It’s just sex._

Tony wondered how long he could tell himself that and actually believe it, because he was feeling some strange and unknown territory things when he is alone with Ziva.

They quietly dressed and both gave each other a one over, making sure they didn’t look all sexed up. She fixed his hair and nodded.

“You know how to find your way back?” Ziva asked.

“I’m pretty sure I’ll figure it out, if I don’t return in an hour, send out the rescue party” he sent her a big smile. She laughed, one on those deep laughs that made him smile more.

He turned around to head out.

“Tony?” she called out. He turned around to her and her lips were on his, heavy, full of lust. Like they hadn’t just fucked like crazy.

She leant back and winked at him, smirking. The devilish flirt back on her face. She then disappeared into the darkness.

He chuckled to himself. He wondered if she did that to bring them back onto a sexy, flirty level and step them away from all that fluffy, heart twisting feelings stuff. If she was, it was probably a good idea.

He’s not going to lie, he really, really enjoys sex with Ziva. But getting actual adult feelings for her? That wouldn’t work. She was a ninja Mossad assassin and he was a laidback American cop. Their lives just weren’t meant to go in that direction, it just wouldn’t work.

Right?

Right.

“Just sex DiNozzo” he whispered to himself, and made sure to give himself a head-slap to keep himself in line.

He found his beer on the vehicle he left it on and took a long drink and tried to make his legs work. He smiled to himself as he walked out of the hanger. Ziva, was one crazy chick. And god, he was addicted to her.


	8. Chapter Eight

** Chapter Eight  **

She didn’t know what it was about that American, but he drove her crazy. She didn’t know why she decided to go to his room that first night. She didn’t know him well enough to trust him like that. She’d read his file, nothing stood out that gave her suspicion to not trust him, but still.

She didn’t just trust anyone.

Doing that gets you killed.

She knew from the minute they met that he was fascinated by her. And he definitely wanted to do the sex with her. That much was obvious the more she caught him staring at her.

It had been a while since she had slept with someone. Since everything had happened with Michael and just in general getting used and treated like shit by the men she works with, she was over it. She always thought she could trust the people she trusts her life with, to share her bed. But she learnt that wasn’t the case.

They saw her like a trophy to show off to the world.

And she wasn’t tolerating that bullshit.

She’s put up with that all her life. Her father being who he is, definitely was the struggle of her existence in this department.

But Tony, he didn’t want to sleep with her just because he could show her off. He literally wanted to, because he wanted to. And that was something real that she hadn’t come across in a long time.

After that first night, she found it hard not to go back. She was a sexual lady and he fed every single craving she had, plus some. She’d never had that feeling during sex before.

She knows it’s wrong and if they get caught out shit will probably hit the fan. But, suddenly she’s more worried about something totally different.

She’s always seen couples, people that are happy to share their life with someone else and she’s never understood it. Something about Tony, makes her start to understand it. But those kind of thoughts need to stop.

She was Mossad. She was a killer. She was Ziva David and no one else predicted her life but her.

She would live alone, die alone. She was the loyal soldier.

However, the craving to keep having sex with him won’t go away and she knows that.

She’d never experienced sex like tonight. When he’d gone down on her like he had, she’d never had anything like that. Someone be so generous. She was so hesitant to trust him in that moment, but his eyes told her he would never hurt her.

And something in her cannot help but trust this man she doesn’t know.

Plus, the way he satisfied her was out of this world.

Just sex.

She reminded herself.

That’s all she’s ever done and she will keep it that way.

Yes. Exactly.

She walked into the crowed bar, smile on her face. She felt tingly at the thought of how relaxed she felt. Coming back to this bar had rubbed all sorts of salts in wounds, but Tony was here and her boys, so she couldn’t say no.

She was stronger than those bad memories. She doesn’t let anyone control her life but her. Also, fuck everyone else she was having a good night and just had mind blowing sex. She dares anyone to try piss her off.

Her lips suddenly became thirsty and she was dying for another drink. Tony really had drained her dry.

She smirked.

Then she bumped into somebody. It was Ezra. And when he saw the smirk and look on her face, he shot her a suspicious look.

“Where have you been?” he questioned. She thought about attempting to cover the mood on her face, but it’s just Ezra and she was so relaxed she didn’t really care what her friend thought. He can judge her, she will think no less of him. A friend like him is the only person who is allowed to judge her. 

“Socialising” she replied. His eyes didn’t stop assessing her, reading her. His eyes narrowed.

“You hate socialising here” he replied.

She just shrugged.

“Did you smoke some hashish?” he asked. At that, she barked out a laugh.

“No, do not be ridiculous” she replied. Did she really seem that relaxed? His eyes continued to study her.

“You just had sex” it wasn’t a question, it was an accusation.

Fuck.

“I am a grown woman” she replied, daring him to challenge her further. He looked at her for a moment.

“I swear if you start any fights tonight, I’m not in the mood to break it up” he said. Ziva could see the smile on his face though. He knew there would be no fights tonight. She didn’t sleep with those sorts of people anymore.

So he knew whoever she had chosen, would have been different. She could also see the look of suspicion on his face still, but for some reason he wasn’t going to ask her anymore questions.

Good. She did not at all want to answer any questions.

“Where is the Arak?” she asked.

They laughed together.

They began walking back to the table and Tony was already there. Everyone was in conversation and she noticed how Tony purposefully avoided looking at her as she came to the table. Not because he didn’t want to or because he was embarrassed, he didn’t want it to draw any attention.

Because without a doubt the lust would show in his eyes as soon as he look at her.

They had just had naughty secret sex, it was hard not to feel like a five year old in a candy store.

Ziva picked up the Arak bottle, it felt far too light. She poured a round and emptied the bottle.

“Looks like we need another one of these” she announced. They picked up their glasses.

“L'chayim” they all cheered as they clinked glasses and threw back their shots.

“Next one is on me” she informed the table and headed off to the bar. So far, no one else at the table had shared Ezra’s suspicion by the looks of it. Thank god.

* * *

She attempted to stay away from Tony as much as possible for the rest of the night, because every time she got close to him her skin would get itchy and hot with the need to touch him.

As much as they tried to avoid each other and seem casual, every time they locked eyes they both smirked and felt a fire in their bones. And the more drunk they became, the more dangerous it was getting.

She felt as though they hadn’t just had mind-blowing sex at the feeling she had to touch him again, to strip him naked and do it all again. It was a dangerous craving.

The next Arak bottle had been emptied and more beer, and all sorts of other drinks had gone down. Everyone was rather drunk now. Sarah though, was finding it hard to stand and speak clearly. She was just mumbling nonsense and laughing constantly by now.

That was when they decided the night had reached its end.

Tony and Derek had looped Sarah’s arms over their shoulders and held her between them as they all walked back to their rooms. Ziva and Ezra were trailing behind together. Azriel had wanted to stay and dance with some of his other friends so they had left him at the bar.

She smiled watching Derek and Tony laugh as they tried to pretty much carry Sarah home. The way Tony was gentle with Sarah, protective, made her realise more that he was a good man.

She thinks he tries to hide it but she believes that man has a very big heart. He would be far too good for a woman like her. She didn’t really deserve his kindness. She wasn’t a good woman.

“It was him, wasn’t it?” Ezra’s voice came softly from beside her. Her eyes turned to look over at him and he was assessing her again. She noticed he had been doing it all night since her disappearing act.

“What?” she asked. She knew what he was getting at, but she was hoping he would keep it to himself. She didn’t want to talk about it.

“Tony, he’s the one you had sex with” Ezra explained. His voice was low enough so they couldn’t be heard by the three in front.

“Of course not” she tried to deny, hoping he would drop it. But it seemed as though he wasn’t going to. He rolled his eyes at her.

“It’s just me Ziva, you don’t need to lie” Ezra said. And he was right. He had been a good friend for years, same with Azriel. That’s why they were her team when she went on missions these days, as she couldn’t trust anyone as much as them. They were good to her, never betrayed her and always had her back.

She sighed.

“It is just sex and it will not affect the operation” she assured him, looking away. Even as the words came out of her mouth, she wasn’t sure how true they were.

“Ziva” he said softly and she looked over at him again “You don’t have to convince me about you staying professional, that’s what you live and breathe on the job. I’m just happy to see you relaxed and letting your hair out. It’s been a while since I’ve seen a good smile on your face” Ezra explained. And this is why he is a good friend. Because he cares about her.

Ziva smiled softly.

“I trust him, he seems like a good person” Ezra said “And it seems like you do to, obviously” he added and sent her a playful smile. She laughed softly.

“I do not know why, but he is different” she trusted him.

“That’s because he’s not an asshole Ziva” Ezra explained, because in comparison to the men who’d screwed her over like Michael and all the others, they were all assholes. 

She nodded at him.

She did not have the heart to tell him how much that he wasn’t an asshole. To the point that she was feeling weird things about him and it felt like more than just sex. But at the moment she didn’t even want to admit that to herself, let alone her good friend.

She felt Ezra’s hand go around her shoulders. It was a strange feeling, because as close as they were they never really shared personal touch. But it softened something in her.

“Your secret is safe with me” he said and she smiled and wrapped her own arm around him in thanks.

“You are a good friend Ezra” she replied and their embrace parted.

“You too Ziva” he replied with a gentle smile.

Her eyes settled back on Tony and she watched as they fumbled with holding Sarah and attempting to unlock her room at the same time as they arrived at the apartments. His eyes caught hers and his soft smile asked for help. She smiled back and went to assist.

Her hands touched his as she took the key from him and his eyes held hers for the smallest moment, but probably longer than they should have and she couldn’t help but flush in warmth. She made sure to turn around and busy herself with the door before Derek, in close vicinity to the moment, noticed the pink on her cheeks.

She got the door open and the three boys brought her into the apartment, placing her on her bed. They all stood up and were unsure of the next step. Yeah, someone should probably make sure she’s tucked in bed but they all looked baffled about getting her to that point.

“I will take it from here” Ziva stated. It felt more appropriate her doing it. She did not know the woman very well but at the relief on the boys faces she knows they appreciated it. None of them probably wanted to tuck her in bed in her drunk clothes, but undressing her to put her in bed seemed almost strange.

Ziva is sure Sarah would trust them to, and Derek and Tony were definitely trusting men. But this day and age so many people pointed dirty accusing fingers at people so it made sense for her to do it.

“Thanks Ziva” Derek sent her a nod “Thanks for the good night” he said to the room and he disappeared out the door. Ezra shot her a personal look after looking at Tony. He smiled and bid them goodnight.

She noticed that Tony was hanging around. It made her smile.

“Do you know where she keeps her t-shirts?” she asked, making him useful. She pulled back Sarah’s sheets and started undoing her shoes.

“I’m sure I can figure it out” he smiled back and made himself busy, opening her closet.

“Thandskfjdks Zivaaaaaa” Sarah mumbled above her, trying to sit up but she just fell back onto the bed. Ziva chuckled.

“You are welcome Sarah” she replied as she pulled off the second shoe.

“Any shirt?” Tony asked and she nodded at him.

“Just something she can sleep in” she replied.

Tony walked over and gave her the shirt. Their eyes lingered on each other as their hands touched again. Neither of them were worried about Sarah, she was so drunk right now she wouldn’t notice them eye fucking each other.

“I’ll wait over here and leave you to it” he motioned to the door. He’d noticed she was about to take Sarah’s clothes off, and didn’t want to be involved in Sarah being half naked.

She gave him a soft smile. That was another sign of Tony being a good man, and the fact her gut wasn’t just trusting him for no reason. Her instincts knew he was someone to trust.

She watched him hovering by the door to Sarah’s apartment and looking in the other direction to them. She smiled again.

She undressed Sarah, leaving her in her underwear and she put the clean shirt on her before putting her legs under the sheets and covering her in the blanket. Ziva made sure to leave her on her side, just in case all that drink decided to make an exit, Sarah wouldn’t choke on her back.

Satisfied as Sarah was already fast asleep, she stood up and walked over to Tony.

Her hand touched his lower back and he turned to meet her. His eyes glanced over at Sarah, seeing her all tucked up and asleep, his eyes came to settle on hers.

“Thank you, I am sure she will appreciate that in the morning” he stated. His words were slightly slurred from the drink and his lazy smile he sent her was definitely half drunk too. She smiled back, probably looking just as drunk.

“I believe it is time for you to go to bed too” she said. She felt his hands come around her waist and she couldn’t help but lean into the touch.

“You too” he replied and she nodded at him. His eyes were so soft as he looked down at her and in his current drunken state they probably exposed more than she would have liked to see. He, just like her, was feeling more than just sex bubbling between them.

She wasn’t surprised when his lips met hers. She kissed him back, feeling that tightness in her chest and softness in her body. He had a way of turning her to mush.

He leant back and looked down at her.

“Thanks for a good night Ziva” he said. She loved the way his lips spoke her name.

All she wanted to do was go a few doors down and join him in bed, very possibly for another round of drunken sex. But not tonight.

She needed to try and set some kind of boundaries with him before this becomes more than sex. As its already dangerously close.

Also, she needs to be careful because they cannot be caught. They were already getting exposed, Ezra knowing was more than none and that was too many already.

“I am glad I came” she said, referring to the bar. She saw his eyes twinkle in a telling way that told her his brain had gone south.

“Oh, I’m glad too” he replied with a smirk “More than once” he said and they chuckled softly.

“Goodnight Tony” she whispered and gave his ass a quick squeeze before breaking the embrace and sending him a wink. Keeping him on his toes.

“Goodnight Ziva” he replied, watching her with a big smirk on his face before she disappeared out the door.

As she walked back to her apartment block she couldn’t help but think how relaxed she was. She hadn’t felt like this in a long time. And if she thinks about it, she’s never really quite felt like _this_ before.

It can’t be anything more than sex between them, he will return to where he’s from at some point and she will go on with her life and move onto the next mission.

But, while he was still here she can enjoy him. Right?

She’s always worked hard and she deserves to at least have some fun for a bit. She can keep it professional, and so far it seems as though he can too.

Sex never hurt anybody. 


	9. Chapter Nine

** Chapter Nine  **

The next day when he got to work he was a little fuzzy but it was nothing he couldn’t handle. At one point in his life turning up hungover to work was a regular occurrence. Not so much these days, but he knows the battle regardless.

Sarah, she was very worse for wear, but she was being a trooper.

They’d been in the office for about an hour, back into business and working on things. Azriel was currently working on one lead regarding cryptic emails in Levi Abeles account. They were very suspicious, but currently Azriel couldn’t crack them and he was working very hard on that. 

At least it was some sort of lead, they needed something.

He was trying to focus on his investigation but one thing was bothering him and holding every bit of his attention. Ziva wasn’t in yet.

Ezra and Azriel didn’t seem phased about it, so he guesses they know what she’s up to and she’s not just missing in action. Surely she’s not avoiding him? No, that’s not like her. She’s professional and nothing gets in the way of her and work.

He thought about asking, but he didn’t want to seem too curious about Ziva, especially after last night. And man, last night was amazing.

He slept better than he ever had since being here, like a rock. He felt relaxed, like he felt alive. He didn’t know what it was about her, but she made him feel like he was where he belonged. But he didn’t belong here, so it was all sorts of confusing. He belonged back in D.C with his team.

He needed to try and pay attention to his work because his wondering eyes, hoping Ziva was going to turn up had caught him a few side looks from Ezra. The way he looked at Tony, was as though he just knew he was thinking about Ziva. A given, Tony didn’t remember everything about last night so he hoped nothing had happened that had Ezra suspicious of him and Ziva.

But by the looks he’s getting from Ezra, the man knows.

They weren’t looks of judgement, just ones that made Tony very aware that Ezra knew he was thinking about Ziva, and that he knew exactly why the man was thinking about her so much.

Tony almost got to the point where he had to ask where she was because it was like his brain was going to explode with the thoughts of where she was. Was she okay?

But Sarah saved him from having to be the one who asked.

“Where is Ziva today? Not that I remember much of last night but I’m pretty sure she wasn’t as embarrassingly drunk as me” she said as she busied herself making a coffee at the machine at the side table.

There were a few smiles and chuckles as they remembered the good night, and yes just how drunk they had been, especially Sarah. It was a good night. Tony couldn’t help it, he couldn’t laugh. He felt tense as he desperately waited for someone to answer that question.

Ezra was the one who answered the question.

“Her father has her on a unrelated mission, she should be back in a few days” he stated, looking down at his work as he spoke. And yeah, Tony got a small feeling that Ezra was bothered about it.

“Shouldn’t she be left with one mission and not jumping around between some?” Derek then asked. He would know, with all the Seal missions he’s been on. One mission, one focus.

“Correct. But things are always different with Ziva. If her father needs something important done, he’ll pull her from anything for it” Ezra explained still looking down. He was probably sharing far too much information with outsiders, but after last night they were a team. They were not outsiders. They could be trusted.

The way Ezra’s knuckles turned white while he gripped his pen harder, told Tony he didn’t like the Directors use of Ziva like that at all.

Tony felt his chest grow tight with worry. What kind of important mission was she on, one that fired up her teammate and friend this much? Suddenly he wanted to walk into the Directors office and demand what the fuck he was using his daughter for and smack him upside the head.

However, he did not have a death wish.

The room was silent and no one really knew what to say in reply, they were all thinking the same thing. What the actual fuck.

It looked as though everyone wanted to say something about it. About how unprofessional and dangerous it sounded. But no one would badmouth the Director in his building. It was too dangerous. And they all had an idea of that.

They all busied themselves back into their work but Tony noticed when Ezra looked up from his work and over to him. Ezra was pissed and that only made Tony more annoyed in mutual thought.

Tony had no idea what she may be doing for her father, but if someone who works in Mossad and was friends with her was pissed, he could only imagine how bad it probably was. 

Actually, he doesn’t want to imagine. Because that made his heart tight and he didn’t like that at all.

* * *

Forensics had come back with a bit of information on the firearm, not much but something. The specific way the serial number was removed held a particular style, one that was unique to a local black market dealer they know in the area.

One that Ezra is on good terms with apparently. They know about this dealer, but generally his weapons never end up in the hands of anyone dangerous. Just people who want to have protection but don’t want others to know about it. And the dealer was a good source of information to Mossad. A confidential informant. So they let him keep his business running.

Ezra happened to be the dealers handler.

Ezra had decided to bring Tony along with him for a meet up with the dealer to ask about the sale of this particular firearm.

The drive was a bit across town and they weren’t dressed for war on this one, just a pistol on the hip.

The first part of the drive was quiet and Tony didn’t really know what to say. All he wanted to do was talk about Ziva but with the way Ezra was already looking at him this morning he didn’t want to open any more cans of suspicion with him.

Obviously the silence was just as deafening for Ezra when he spoke up.

“You’re clearly dying to ask about her, so go on” his voice filled the vehicle. Ezra gave him a look that said he knew, a lot. And when Tony was still pondering what to say, deciding what wouldn’t sound too personally attached, Ezra spoke again.

“I know about it Tony” he stated. Tony felt caught out. He knew what he was referring to, but he was trying to avoid it. They couldn’t get caught doing what they were, him and Ziva.

“About what?” Tony asked, trying to sound oblivious. That didn’t work.

“That you and Ziva are having sex” Ezra explained, shooting him an eyeroll. Tony felt the cab in the vehicle get hotter. Like he’d been caught out by Gibbs doing something he really shouldn’t. “She knows I know” Ezra added.

Tony let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. If she knows Ezra knows, he probably doesn’t have to try and deny it to him.

“Is it that obvious?” Tony asked. Worried that they had been letting off some serious vibes and been caught out because of it. He saw Ezra smile for the first time today.

“Not that obvious. But I caught her sneaking back into the bar yesterday, and I know her too well for her to hide her ‘just had sex’ face from me” Ezra chuckled. Tony chuckled too. It was sort of relieving to talk to someone about this. He felt like the secret was choking him up.

“It’s so hard to be subtle about it” Tony found himself admitting.

“I only caught on pairing her sex face with the fact she doesn’t just take anyone to bed now, and how she looks at you different. I’ve known her for a long time and she’s been through a lot while we’ve been friends, so it wasn’t hard for me” Ezra explained.

There was a lot in that sentence that had Tony wanting to ask more questions. Ezra was clearly a very good friend of Ziva’s.

“That stuff we talked about at the bar” Tony began and Ezra’s eyes flickered to him after taking another turn on the road “That have something to do with why she can be… hesitant?” Tony asked. Tony didn’t have to mention he was talking about sex for Ezra to know exactly what he was talking about. He was diving into deep conversation now and he wondered just how much Ezra was going to let him in.

Ezra nodded softly at him.

“After a lot of mistreatment and Michael, she hasn’t really let loose. The old Ziva, she was a free spirit, and she wasn’t a timid woman, she liked sex. But she’s been very different since all that, until you came along” Ezra explained. He shot Tony a small look at the last part. Wondering what it was about him that had Ziva relaxing.

“Michael?” Tony asked. He was a little taken back that she’d been shut off since him. And he couldn’t help it when he got sweaty and tight chested at the thought.

“That’s not my place to talk about him. Just that he and Ziva dated for a while and it wasn’t pretty. I fucking hate the guy” Ezra explained, his hands gripping the steering wheel hard.

Tony didn’t know the guy but suddenly, he hated the guy too.

Hated that him and whoever else, had brought a beautiful woman so far down that she wasn’t who she used to be. That she didn’t trust, didn’t enjoy life like she used to. Made her hesitate during sex.

There it was again, that possessive protectiveness for her bubbling to the surface.

“And her father, what the fuck is he got her doing?” Tony asked. Suddenly he felt fired up. Not at Ezra but every person who decided to use her as they pleased and treated her like dirt. Ezra shot him a side glance, a look that told Tony he wasn’t sure if he should answer _that_ question.

Ezra let out a breath, the anger in him boiling to the same level as Tony’s for all the same reasons.

“I don’t know as I’m not privy to the information. But normally when he pulls her away like this, it’s some high profile assassination job” Ezra explained tightly. Clearly, Ezra was not okay with this. Which was interesting because clearly he worked in the same business, did the same job. That kind of job should be normal to someone like him.

Tony felt himself wanting to smash something, someone. Eli, Michael, either sound reasonable right now.

And all of a sudden he was reminded that the woman he was sleeping with was exactly the deadly woman she portrayed herself to be. She did kill people, she was dangerous. That was who she was. She wasn’t just the beautiful woman who trembled at his touch and moaned in delight.

“Why her?” he found himself asking. Why not anyone else in his goddamn organization?

“Because she’s good. She won’t fuck it up and she won’t ask him questions” Ezra said, annoyed.

“Surely he’s abusing his position doing that all the time?” Tony gritted through his teeth.

“It is. It’s not always legitimate business but she doesn’t know how to say no. She’s too loyal” Ezra was just as pissed as Tony was right now. Neither of them judge Ziva for being loyal, that’s not her fault. He’s her father after all. But no doubt Eli uses that to his advantage.

Tony realized they were bonding on hatred for people who treated Ziva like shit.

“That’s bullshit” Tony breathed out.

Fuck him.

Ezra nodded. Agreeing.

“I’ve tried to talk to her about it, get her to stay on the team missions and stay away from the solo ones her father sends her on. But I never get anywhere. Ziva’s only fault is she’s too loyal to the people she loves, even if they mistreat her” Ezra explained, softening then. The sentiment made Tony soften too. He’s felt her big heart deep down, it’s there. She just hides it.

Ezra shot him another look, this one was far from the anger he held a few minutes ago.

“It’s nice to see her relax again” Ezra was referring to the way Tony made her feel. All the anger Tony had in him was quickly washed away with that tight feeling in his chest again. That one that was so foreign and scary.

“She trusts you” Ezra added, watching Tony carefully. Ezra was clearly protective of Ziva.

“I would never misuse that trust” Tony replied, holding his gaze. He appreciates her trust. And after his conversation with Ezra today, suddenly he realised just how much Ziva was trusting him. She wasn’t just trusting him with her naked body. No, this was something far more than that.

“I know” Ezra replied.

What Tony didn’t realise was, that wasn’t what Ezra was worried about. He was worried that his friend was going to get more attached than just sex with the man next to him. And just quietly, not that he knows the guy well enough but he thinks Tony is headed in the same direction.

He’s not sure exactly how that is going to end well after this mission, when she stays here and he goes home.


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason I swear a lot. Sorry about that. I think I just get overly passionate about these too.   
> Also, SMUT.   
> Not sorry about that.

** Chapter Ten **

Four days. Four days she had been off on her secret little mission Daddy had her on. He felt like messaging her but he also thought better of it. She’s busy, doing something probably pretty dangerous. She didn’t need the distraction of him.

There has been no more leads in the case, the firearm had led to a dead end. And thank god, they’d had no more bodies. That didn’t ease Tony’s mind. The fact they hadn’t had one in a while meant something bigger was probably coming their way. He didn’t like that.

Today had been a long day of nothing on nothing. Everyone was starting to get frustrated that they were getting nowhere. Obviously on top of that he’d been frustrated about Ziva being gone. Frustrated because he missed the touch of her skin, frustrated because he worried about her.

Derek had been concerned about him of late. He could tell. He hadn’t asked anything yet but Tony wouldn’t be surprised if the man would hit him up about it soon.

Tony stepped into his shower hoping to wash the stress of the last few days off. He knows he won’t be cleansed of the feeling, not until she’s back.

He’s found that his thoughts of her are heading in the direction he’s always avoided with women. Sure, he loves sex and he appreciates women, but he’s never wanted to be involved emotionally. Not since Wendy. Since her, he hasn’t wanted emotional connection. She broke him and it hurt. He didn’t want that feeling again so he avoided it.

But with Ziva, the feelings came out of nowhere and he couldn’t stop them. He tried, oh yes. But as much as his mind told him no, something else was telling him that she was beautiful and the way she made him feel was _real_.

He’s told himself maybe having sex with her isn’t a good idea with everything that’s going through his head, but he can’t help it. He wants to touch, wants her to touch. Just wants to be in the essence of her. It was addicting.

He’s like a drug addict on a crash course, because the train he’s on only has a certain length of track and if he doesn’t put on the brakes he’ll collide with the harsh fate at the end.

He heard the sound of his bathroom door open then and his heart was hammering in his chest in fright.

As he turned to look at the door, _her_ face met his through the glass. His heart was suddenly pounding for all sorts of different reasons.

She looked exhausted and her face held an anxious look. She didn’t say anything to him, she just held his gaze as she started taking her clothes off. He could see the way she hesitated and as she lifted her shirt over her head she winced.

He wondered what was going on, but then he saw it. Saw the bruises that covered her body. Her arms, ribs, shoulder, legs. All owning angry purple marks.

He went from excited, to worried, to angry in the span of five seconds.

He pushed the shower door open and went to get out, went to say something. But she was naked now and pushing him back into the shower and kissing his lips. Hard.

He managed to pull back, as much as he didn’t want to.

“Ziva” his voice was soft and her gaze avoided his, looking everywhere but his eyes.

“I do not want to talk about it” she said quietly. He felt the way her body was tense beneath his hands and he really didn’t like that. Didn’t like that he father sent her on some killing mission and now here she is, beaten and bruised. Feeling tense under his hands.

These things her father has her doing, they aren’t good for her. She’s suffering physically, emotionally. He would bet a hundred that she would never admit it, but he feels it. Sees it.

All he wanted to do was fucking talk about it. He’s thought about all the things he wants to talk about with her over the last four days. But, she needed him to not talk about it right now so he bit back his needs and put her first.

For now.

He brought one hand to the side of her face, brushing some unruly curls from her face that had caught the shower water. She lifted her gaze to him. There was a lot of pain swirling in her eyes right now and goddamn it was hard to keep his mouth shut and not demand to talk about it.

Suddenly he realised just how much of her she was baring to him right now, letting him see her like this. Hurt, exposed.

His heat pounded at how much she trusted him.

“What do you need?” he asked. Her eyes holding a solace gaze at his words. Were her eyes suddenly wet?

“I need your touch” she all but whispered, so low he almost didn’t hear it over the failing water. His touch, he would never deny her.

“You’re hurt” he then pointed out. He didn’t want to hurt her more as he tried to pleasure her in all the ways she wanted. He wanted.

“I am fine” she said, firmly. Yeah, she was probably hurt and she wouldn’t admit it he’s sure of it “I want you” she added. Clearly she wanted him over any pain her bruises could give her.

He didn’t deny her any longer. His lips touched hers and as gentle as he tried to be that seemed to be the opposite of what Ziva wanted right now.

Her lips were hard and demanding on his, her tongue pressing into his mouth as her hands went between his legs and gripped him. Hard.

He all but moaned into her mouth. God, he’d missed her.

He turned them around, pushing her against the back of the shower and pressing his thigh between hers. Her hands went to his shoulders then, gripping hard on his back. He kissed her almost aggressively. All that pain he’s held over the last few days was coming out in waves now.

Suddenly, he can feel what she was looking for from him, working the same for him. The rough touches, hard kisses, letting that tension and anger roll off him.

He felt her shudder under him when he pressed a hand between them and touched her. She wasn’t just wet from the shower. Damn. He cannot get used to how ready she always was for him without any effort.

The way she looked at him under heavy eyes and all but rode his fingers, told him she’d missed this too. That she wanted him. _Bad_.

Yeah, he wanted to let her come at least once before he went inside her, but he couldn’t fucking wait any longer. He was almost desperate for her. Her eyes almost went to protest when he pulled his hand from between them, she must have been close. Her lips were about to voice that protest but before she could say a word his hand lifted her leg for him and he pressed into her.

There was definitely no protest written on her face after that. 

Her head fell back against the wall and he watched the way the pulse in her neck was hammering. His heart was pounding just as hard.

He jerked his hips then and her mouth dropped open.

Her hands gripped his shoulders tighter as his hips bucked at her and his lips went to her neck. He got rough with her then, fucking her so hard against the wall he hoped to god it wasn’t going to break.

He didn’t know where it had come from, but suddenly more of that tension was leaving him. And yes, she seemed to like exactly that. Her legs wrapped around him and little sounds of just how much she liked it slipped from her lips.

His fingers were digging into that delicious ass of hers and he felt her hand go to his neck, gripping him just enough to be firm but not to restrict his breathing. His eyes caught hers and they were that deep black he loves to see. Her lips were demanding on his then.

At this rate, he wasn’t going to last much longer.

She lost her breath and couldn’t concentrate on kissing him and breathing at the same time just then. Yeah, she was close too.

Her hand fell from his neck and her arms wrapped around him, hands going to his back and her fingers dug into his skin. Her mouth was panting by his neck and her legs gripped around his hips so tight then he thought she was going to snap him in half. 

“Harder” she whispered, her voice heavy with need.

His chest was pounding so hard he thought he was going to explode at her words.

“Fuck… Ziva” he moaned. And yeah, that was her name slipping from his lips in a deep need.

He fucked her even harder then and he thought his whole body was going to break. It seemed to be exactly what she’d needed when he felt her fingers dig hard on his back and her teeth were suddenly at his shoulder, biting him and suppressing the scream she wanted to let out.

He felt her heat grip him and she was all kinds of tight and wet suddenly. In that moment, he couldn’t hold back either and he let go.

He had to press his face into her neck, trying just as much not to moan to the high heavens at how fucking hard he’d just came.

His full weight was pressing her against the wall, both of them breathing heavily. His legs wanted to give way to the weight right then, they were almost shaking, but he didn’t want to let her fall.

He wouldn’t let her fall.

Her legs fell loose from his then and her face buried into his neck. Her hand ran softly down his spine.

He’s not sure how long they stood there for, listening to the others breathing and holding onto each other with a bit too much desperation. The hot water poured over them and yes, this shower had washed away all his anger and tension.

But it had also created more complexities to his relationship with her. But you know what? He didn’t care. His hands gripped her tighter then and her eyes met his.

She was quietly reading him. He could tell she could see what he was feeling, but it seemed as though she didn’t care too much about that either. Right now, both of them together like this, it had them at peace. And in this secret moment between them, nothing else mattered.

Not NCIS, not Mossad. Not her father, not goddamn anything else.

He found his hand coming to her face and brushing away those wet curls across her face again.

“Will you stay for a bit?” he asked, he didn’t want her disappearing like a ninja yet. He wanted more time with her. He expected to receive protest from her then, saying it was a bad idea. But tonight was different, she didn’t have it in her to fight what she wanted to do with what she should do.

“Okay” was her soft response. This Ziva right here, the one he’s seeing with no guard, she’s not the same woman that he sees at work. This is the real Ziva, the one Ezra had talked about. He wondered how many people had truly seen her like this. 

He gave her a smile and she kissed him softly before slipping from his hands and removing herself from the shower.

He found himself staring at her back as she grabbed a towel from his shelf and walked out of the bathroom.

He felt his blood rise slightly as he saw some more angry purple covering her back.

The fact he’d just been fucking her hard against the shower wall, he knows that would have hurt. He should have known better but when she demanded him he couldn’t say no. He suddenly felt bad for being so rough, but then again that seemed like what she had wanted.

Right?

* * *

By the time he left the shower and dried himself, he half expected her to have snuck off even though she said she would stay. But she hadn’t.

When he walked out of the bathroom with his towel wrapped around his hips, the main light was out and his bedside lamp was on. Ziva was in his bed, her back facing his direction. He could see those damn bruises again and he wondered if that’s why she’d turned the main lights off, so he couldn’t see them as well.

She seemed so fragile tonight and he couldn’t quite believe that she was letting him see this side of her. Maybe she was falling for him just as much as he was her.

He thought about pulling on some clothes, to be respectful, but she looked naked still so he didn’t bother.

He lifted up the sheets and climbed into the bed, he wasn’t sure what to do next. Yes, there was obvious feelings screaming out, but it had only been sex between them. There hadn’t been any cuddling.

He touched his hand to her shoulder and softly ran it down her arm.

“I didn’t hurt you did I?” he asked quietly. If he did, he didn’t know if he could live with himself. His eyes were assessing all the dark purple on her back. Fuck, she must be sore.

“No, I am fine” she said. Her voice just as quiet as his had been. She still didn’t want to talk about it, but he wasn’t backing down this time.

“Ziva” he said as he let out a breath of gentle frustration. For a moment, nothing happened except for his hand softly running up and down her arm. He couldn’t help but look at her coloured back, and suddenly he was tenderly pressing a kiss to one of the bruises at her shoulder. He felt her breath hitch as he did this.

That is when she turned to face him. She settled on her back and her eyes met his. 

“I am sore yes, but you did not hurt me Tony” she said, her hand came up to rest on his chest and her fingers played with his hair there “That was everything I needed after the last few days, plus some” she said, smiling softly at him. Her eyes were honest. Some relief went though him.

He found himself snaking a hand across her belly, coming to rest on her hip.

“What happened?” he asked, wanting to know more than anything else right now why she was so covered in bruises. He wasn’t sure if she would let him in, but she’d come to bed with him tonight so if he had any chance, it might be right now.

Her eyes told him she really didn’t want to talk about it.

“Things… went wrong and I got into a bit of a predicament. And that is where the bruises came from. It was nothing I could not handle, I have had much worse” she explained. He was feeling himself get upset again. Why must she think its okay because she’s had worse? She doesn’t deserve that.

“That’s besides the point, you shouldn’t be getting beat up like this” he said. His hand lightly traced the bruises up her side.

“This is who I am Tony” she pointed out, and suddenly her gaze was a little guarded. Like reminding him that she is a killer would scare him away in disgust.

She didn’t expect it when he moved closer, so his body was touching the length of hers and his lips came down to kiss her temple.

“But it shouldn’t have to be” he whispered against her skin. He felt her hand at his chest cling to him a little tighter. Yeah, he was right. And she knew that, so why did she still do it?

“He doesn’t have to govern your life Ziva” he added when she didn’t reply. Yes, she stiffened at those words. Wasn’t expecting him to take it quite that personal. But, she needed to know. And goddamn he was going to tell her.

Still, she didn’t want to say anything. That’s fine if she didn’t want to talk about it yet, he just needed her to know. He kissed her softly on the cheek, then by her ear.

“You deserve better” he whispered to her. When he pulled back to look at her, her eyes looked wet.

She leant over him then, kissing him so softly. A kiss that was full of the emotions she didn’t want to discuss out loud. His hands found her hips as she moved over him, legs either side of his. Her breasts were soft against his chest and her lips tender on his.

And yeah, he felt her tears hit his cheeks. He didn’t pull back to recognise them, he’d keep her secret.

He’d keep all her secrets if she’d let him.

Her lips turned hungrier on his and her hands were touching him all over, currently wrapping deep into his hair. She had this way of melting him in just seconds.

This time when they had sex, it wasn’t like the last time. It wasn’t like any other time they have had sex. It was… loving.

She didn’t hesitate with him, she kissed him and rode him with a slow gentle passion. She let him kiss her bruises after, she let him hold her.

She let herself fall asleep in his arms.


	11. Chapter Eleven

** Chapter Eleven  **

When she woke everything felt foreign. Dangerous. The hand around her stomach, the chest pressed to her back. But as dangerous as it was, she couldn’t help bit feel so relaxed in his arms.

She’d never been one to stay like this, cuddle after. But just like her reaction to him, he was different. He wasn’t like anyone else.

She doesn’t know what it is about him that she lets see all the most fragile parts of her. But, he felt… safe. And so far he hadn’t once broken her trust. He’d had chances to, but he just kept wanting to come back for more.

She sees it on his face, in his eyes. The emotion that he feels for her. That scares her, but what scares her more is the fact she’s feeling it too.

She’d tried to love in the past, with Michael. She thought that was real, that that’s what love was meant to feel like. But now she realises that it wasn’t the case. Love doesn’t beat you, love doesn’t manipulate and control you. But at the time, she didn’t know. She didn’t realise what she thought was love, was just abuse.

Tony though, he feels safe. It’s not the same as Michael because she knows better since then. She learnt what was real and what wasn’t. And the way Tony looks at her, that was real.

As nice as this feels, how it just fits, she knows it will never work.

He has to go home, she’ll go back to her usual life.

This last mission had been hard. The job should have been simple and she had it all planned out. What she didn’t expect had happened and the fight she endured had been rough. She’d succeeded the mission of course, the man she had been sent to kill hadn’t escaped her. But the fact three others went down in the process made her feel uneasy.

Sure, they were probably bad people too, but sometimes she wonders why she keeps doing this. The older she gets, the more she takes lives, its starting to weigh heavy on her.

_You deserve better._

His words rung in her ears. Does she though? After everything she’s done, does she really deserve better? She’s not sure.

Tony doesn’t know what she’s done. He’s from a different world to this. If he knew about all the blood that has stained her hands, would he still feel like this? Still want to be hugging her tight, sharing his bed with her.

He didn’t turn away last night when she remined him what she does. He’d just clung harder to her, told her that she deserves better.

He’s not the only one who has been getting upset about this sort of thing. Ezra had been on her case for a long time about her giving up these things. He wasn’t wrong, but she just didn’t know how to say no to her father. She was all she had left. Her mother, Tali, Ari, they were all gone.

She felt her grip to her father was the last she had of her family and disappointing him, she couldn’t bring herself to do that. He was all she had left.

But Tony, he made her feel like she deserved better. The way he treated her, it was more than sex. He respected her… cared about her. The way he kissed every single one of her bruises, that wasn’t about sex. That was something more.

Last night with him, she couldn’t believe she’d let her emotions go. She had never cried in front of anyone. She didn’t cry. And Tony, he didn’t point it out, didn’t talk about it. He just embraced her and let it happen. He was just there for her, to hold her tight and make her feel better.

She felt herself tearing up again at the thought.

He cared, about someone like _her_.

No one had ever cared so passionately about her. No one had ever treated her with such respect.

Other than Tony, Ezra and Azriel are the only two people who had showed honest care about her. And that’s why she refused to let them go, they were her team and she would never let her father take the ones she trusted from her.

If she wouldn’t let him take her team, why did she let him use her for his own gain? By making her murder people? And yes, she knows that sometimes, that’s exactly what he’s making her do. Not just professional assassination, it was cold blooded murder.

It made her sick. Made her feel worthless. Yes, she was good at it, but that’s because that’s all she’s ever known. It didn’t change the fact that it keeps her up at night, makes her feel like she doesn’t deserve love.

Because she honestly doesn’t think she deserves the emotion and tenderness Tony gives her. She feels like back home there’s probably many women who would deserve the love he had to offer.

Not her, she wasn’t deserving.

But she cannot help but come back to him, because he makes her feel like she does deserve it. She feels so relaxed, at peace when she shares her personal time with him. And it was addicting.

She’s shared more of herself with him than anyone. Not even Michael. She wasn’t this quick to let Michael in, but with Tony it just happened and she let him in without a second thought.

_Dangerous._

In the end, she may never get her shit together and it will be hard when he leaves, but she wouldn’t give these moments with him for anything. Even if it’ll make it harder in the end, at least she’ll know what it feels like to be happy.

Even if it ends up being just a passing memory.

Her hand finds his on her stomach. The clock reads just after 3am so she needs to make an exit. She doesn’t want to be caught coming from his room when the sun is up. This was still a secret that needed to be kept.

Its hard, because all she wants to do is stay wrapped up his arms.

His soft snores tell her he’s still fast asleep.

Its strange, because with him, she doesn’t feel the need to sleep with her gun. She’s done that for as long as she can remember, but with him, its totally opposite from everything she always lived by.

She tries to slip out from underneath his grip without waking him, but he stirs.

“You leaving?” he asks, eyes blinking as he attempts to wake himself up. He had been in a deep sleep. His hand grips her hip out of reflex. He doesn’t want her to leave either.

She leans down, running her hand into the side of his hair, stroking softly. His eyes flutter closed at the touch.

“Yes, it is almost morning” she whispers against his lips. His hand pulls her closer.

“Okay” he whispers back. He knows why she needs to leave, knows they need to stay careful with this. Because it goes against all the rules.

She kisses him gently and he kisses her back, his lips lazy and half asleep. She smiles against him. Not only does she trust him, but he trusts her. He’s half asleep and trusts her in his space, he’s not waking up and making sure he watches her every move.

“Sleep. I will see you at work” she said, still running her hand through his hair, coaxing him back to sleep.

His hand falls softly from her hip and he wriggles himself into his sheets. Watching him like this, has her heart tight. She placed another kiss to his lips and slipped from the bed.

As she got dressed and collected her things, she heard his soft snores fill the room.

As she disappeared out his door she couldn’t help but think how one man had made her rethink her whole life up till this point. How he had made her think that she deserved more than she let herself believe.

* * *

So far, she’d made it back to her apartment without detection. She was far enough away from Tony’s now that if someone saw her, it wouldn’t be suspicious.

She entered the corridor to her floor and her body went ridged and she felt sick.

Michael Rivkin.

He was walking down the corridor towards her. He wasn’t meant to be here, he was meant to be in Sudan.

“Ziva” her name on his lips sounded dirty, like it didn’t belong. She wanted to punch him in the mouth.

“Michael” she pressed out. She was not impressed. She got to her door and tried to get inside without further interaction, but it seemed like he was intent on talking with her.

“Work late?” he asked. Why he was keen on small chat was beyond her. She didn’t want anything to do with him.

“Something like that” she replied shortly. She opened the door to her apartment and stepped inside.

He stepped to follow her. She could smell it then, the booze on him. He’d been drinking. She put a hand to his chest to stop him coming into her apartment.

“You are not welcome here anymore Michael” she stated firmly. He hasn’t been welcome here in two years, not since the night when beat her so bad she was helpless and he took advantage of her.

Memories of that night hit her hard then and she was sick to her stomach.

His hand went to her neck then, in a very aggressive manor and he forced his lips to hers. She punched him then, but he fought her back. They got into a bit of a scuffle, he was trying to grab onto her and she began to panic that things were about to end down the same track as two years ago.

Not this time.

She pulled her knife on him then, pressing it to his neck. Hard. He stopped.

“Get the fuck out of my apartment” she spat angrily at him “I dare you to do anything else” she warned, pressing the knife into him until a small amount of blood ran down his neck.

Michael held her gaze, not backing down yet. There was something in his eyes that told her he wasn’t okay with this. That her stepping up to him like this didn’t sit well.

And then, he left without another word.

She slammed her door and locked it. Her back hit the door and she slid down until she sat on the floor. She dropped the knife, her hands going into her hair.

She cried.

Why was he coming back into her life right now? Why was he doing this to her? All she wanted to do right now was run back to Tony’s apartment and climb into his arms.

The upset she had just washed away with her night in Tony’s arms, has all come crashing back for all sorts of different reasons. Michael was not meant to be back, he was not meant to be in the same place as her. She thought she had made that clear to her father.

It seems as though it was time for her to have a talk with her father. And this time, she wont be holding back. Because she deserves better.

After a shower, no more sleep, and a change of clothing she was in her fathers office first thing.

“Ziva, come in” he stated from the seat at his desk when she opened the door. She walked in and stood across from his desk. He motioned her to take a seat but when she didn’t he shot her a curious glance.

She folded her arms.

“Why is Michael here?” she asked, maybe with a bit too much anger. But she didn’t care right now. His face showed her that yeah, her tone with him was unexpected.

“He is on a job for me Ziva” he explained, like the reason would be obvious.

“Well you know damn well he should not be here, I thought we agreed to that” she raised her voice. She had never raised her voice like this at him.

“Do not come into my office and-“ he began but she cut him off.

“When your only daughter left is beat and raped by a man, and her only request is that he not be where she is and you can not even honour that, what kind of father are you” she all but yelled at him.

For the first time in her life, her father looked shocked. There were many words in that sentence that were confronting.

“He is here on work Ziva” he fired back at her. Like her accusation was ridiculous because he was here for that reason.

“Like there is not anyone else that could have done whatever he is doing. Just like me, when you have all these _private_ jobs you need done” she raised her voice some more. His eyes caught sight of the bruises on her arms then.

“You are out of place Ziva” he raised his voice, standing from his chair. Not even one mention of her bruises. Did he really care about her?

“You are despicable” she accused, holding his gaze.

Before he could say anymore bullshit excuses and continued to defend himself, she marched out of his office and slammed the door.

She almost bumped into Abbott on her way out. His eyes held hers, concern on his face. He’d clearly heard far too much of the conversation she’d just had with her father.

“Excuse me” she whispered, trying to get out of there without having to talk about it.

Today was going to be a long day.


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it’s been a few days since an update, work has been super busy lately and I’ve been exhausted. Your reviews and support have been super this week so it has been very appreciated.   
> We start to get a bit of angst here team, just a warning.   
> Always love, Danni.

** Chapter Twelve  **

She’s tense, angry. He noticed it as soon as his eyes saw her this morning. It’s rolling off her in waves and for the life of him he cannot remember what he did wrong. What did he do to upset her? All he remembers is her kissing him goodbye this morning, and it was sweet. It wasn’t like this. What had happened?

He’d noticed that Ziva and Ezra had been sharing slightly heated whispered discussions. Neither had looked his way so he could only hope it wasn’t about him.

He’d tried hard to keep his nose down at work and focus on the task at hand. He’d managed to distract himself well for a few hours as he found something of interest. Both the dead marines and the IDF soldier used the same gaming site online.

Deathhunt.com

It was a violent game, one where you played an American soldier who hunted down and killed any foreigners. These were mainly portrayed as middle eastern people. Tony could see where this could have caused an irritation, because it came across very racist.

But then why was the Israeli visiting the site? He took the information over to Azriel.

“Hey man, can you take a look into this?” he asked, giving him a few papers of information. Azriel’s eyes lit up.

“Of course, I don’t know how I missed this” he said. He’d been focusing more on the IDF soldiers computer history, not as much the victims.

“Let me know if you find anything good” Tony replied, smiling. He hoped this was a lead. They were desperate.

“So this is the little taskforce huh?” he heard a unknown voice fill the room from the door. He turned to see a Israeli man, thick sideburns, short curly hair. And for some reason there was a smug look on his face. He didn’t like this.

The room was tense and he saw Ziva. Fury filled her gaze as her eyes connected with his. She was doing everything in her power not to turn around and face the male that had just come in the room. He didn’t know who this guy was, but whoever he was Ziva was wild at him.

“You’re not supposed to be in here Michael” Ezra’s voice was heated. He didn’t appreciate him being in this space either.

_Michael._

It all made sense now.

So this was Michael huh? Fuck him. Tony felt himself get angry at the thought of this guy, he’d hurt Ziva. And clearly, he was still hurting her.

“I’m privy to any Mossad operation thank you Ezra” Michael replied, attitude dripping from every word.

Tony found himself walking towards the man then and Derek shot him an unsure glance. This was a Mossad issue, not their place. But oh yes, this was his place. Because Ziva didn’t belong to this asshole anymore and Tony felt a need to protect her. This had nothing to do with an agency turf war.

Michael looked him up and down, shooting him a look as he approached him.

“This isn’t just a Mossad operation, so you are not privy to being in here. I suggest at that, you do yourself a favour and leave” Tony stated, getting closer to the man. Closer than what would be considered professional. 

He could see the way Michael was sizing him up. Tony noticed the fresh cut on Michael’s neck.

“Or what?” Michael challenged him. As much as Tony wanted to smash this guy in the mouth, he didn’t.

“This isn’t a dick measuring contest, it’s called professional courtesy” Tony replied, his voice low. Serious.

Michael didn’t budge.

“But clearly you like to piss people off” he added, referring to the cut. He watched the way Michael’s eyes shot to Ziva then.

Fuck. Was that cut from her?

“You don’t have any place telling me what to do” Michael retorted, stabbing his finger into Tony’s chest. That’s when he felt Derek at his side. Tony was holding everything he could back, his fists were ready to strike.

But if he did, that would surely be his ass on a plane home.

“Touch me again asshole” Tony challenged. And yeah, it was personal now. Ezra was at his side now too. Clearly everyone saw this was about to go south very fast.

Derek placed his hand on Michael’s shoulder.

“Come on brother, you can’t be here” Derek was trying to break this up. It didn’t seem to deter the male. He just kept eyeing Tony up. Wondering why he was being challenged so hard by the male. Tony hoped he just put it down to him being a hot headed male, which was definitely not the case here.

“The director will hear about this if you don’t fuck off right now” Ezra then challenged. That’s what made him take his eyes from Tony.

“He knows you’re already stirring shit after this morning, so you better watch yourself” Ezra was the one challenging him now.

Michael’s eyebrows drew together and his lip twitched. He was pissed now. Tony dreaded to think about what happened this morning. Especially if Ziva had gone to her father about it.

Michael snarled at them and turned, leaving.

He was fired up, Ezra at his side was fired up.

“What the fuck was that guy’s problem?” Derek stated, looking at Tony and Ezra.

Tony let out a sigh and ran a frustrated hand through his hair. The way he was affected by this, wasn’t missed by Derek.

“He’s an asshole who likes to put his nose where it doesn’t belong” Ezra explained, not going into detail. Derek and Sarah didn’t need to know about it.

“Well he’s definitely looking in the wrong place for trouble” Derek replied. Tony was about to clock the guy, Ezra was right behind him, and Derek had both of their backs if a fight started.

Tony didn’t say anything he just tried to keep himself in check and walk back to his desk. But when his eyes found hers, it was so hard not to scream and punch something. Her eyes were hurt, sad. Michael was purposefully fucking with her. And it was working. Tony wished he’d punched him in the face now.

They all tried to get back into their work, but the energy in the room was suffocating. Obviously that energy was felt by everyone when Derek spoke up.

“I think we’ve worked hard enough this morning for a coffee break” he said standing, stretching out. Tony caught his gaze and in it, Tony could see Derek realized something far more was going on. That much was obvious.

“I could use a coffee” Azriel replied and he joined Sarah and Derek out of the office.

It was quiet for a long time, before someone spoke.

“I do not need either of you to defend me like that” she said, shooting daggers at them both.

“Fuck that Ziva, you know what he’s trying to do” Ezra exclaimed. He was trying to get to her, and it was working.

“He is my problem, not yours” she retorted, shooting a look at Tony. She didn’t want him dealing with her issues. She needed to deal with them herself. Why must she try carry this weight herself? She’d given so much to him lately, she can trust him to have her back.

She stood then, slamming her hands onto the table in upset. She turned on her heels and took off. The door slamming behind her. Ezra pinched the bridge of his nose with a deep sigh. Then his eyes settled on Tony.

“You should follow her” he said then. Normally Tony would guess that this would be the point where Ezra would follow his friend and calm her. But now, maybe he’d taken up that job. Tony nodded. That meant more than Ezra would ever know.

“She’ll be very angry, but just let her get it out” he gave Tony a heads up before he left the room.

Tony didn’t know where she’d gone, but it couldn’t of been too far. When he walked passed the bathrooms down the corridor he could hear the tap running in the women’s bathroom. He cracked the door open and her fiery gaze met his in the mirror.

A look to his left he could see all the bathroom stalls were empty and he stepped in, closing the door behind him. Locking it.

“You made it my problem when you let me in” was his soft words. He was angry. She needed to just let him in, let him protect her from bullshit like this.

“Having sex with you does not mean I want you to get involved in my problems” she snapped. That hurt, her words were like a knife in his back. Like what they had was _just_ sex. She was staring him down in the mirror.

“That’s fucking bullshit and you know it” he pressed out. He went to touch her, to turn her to face him. She pulled her shoulder away from him.

Her walls were up, she was keeping it all locked inside and wasn’t giving him an inch right now. This was so far from what had happened last night that it was physically painful. What happened to that woman that shared with him last night?

“What happened this morning with him?” he demanded. Her hands gripped tightly around the sink. Her eyes told him in the mirror that it wasn’t good, and that she wasn’t going to tell him.

“What _fucking_ happened?” he was wild at this point. Something in her eyes flickered. Memory, fear. It was at that point he remembered that Michael hadn’t treated her well and he probably yelled at her, he probably violently put his hands on her.

He let out a heavy breath and ran his hands through his hair, pulling just a little bit just to feel some pain. He turned around and paced, then all of a sudden his hand hit the wall with force. That gave him pain. That’s what he needed.

His hand was pounding and he placed his palms on the wall, leaning his head on the concrete surface. It wasn’t like him to outburst like this, but the thought of how she’d been treated made him so angry. So angry at the fact anyone would do something like that to her.

“Goddammit Ziva don’t lock me out” he whispered, suddenly he wasn’t angry, he was just upset. It was quiet for a moment before her voice spoke softly.

“He saw me walking down the corridor to my apartment and he tried to follow me in” she began. He had to strain his ears she was that quiet. But he stayed where he was.

“He tried to force himself on me” at that his hands were balling on the wall and his anger was climbing back into him. He really needed to smack this guy in the mouth.

“It turned into a scuffle, and… I thought… it was going to end like last time” her voice wavered at that and he had to turn to her then. He didn’t like what he saw on her face in the reflection in the mirror. She was physically shaking.

“So I pulled a knife on him. I would not let it happen again” she explained, like she was justifying why she’d pulled the knife. He took a few steps until he was close to her. He placed a hand to her shoulder and she flinched at the touch initially.

“I swear to god if I see him again” Tony wanted to do more than just smash the guy’s head in now.

“Do not” she warned then “He is dangerous” her voice choked out.

For her, a dangerous woman herself, to feel that way he must be dangerous. More than Tony could probably handle if he was being honest. He wasn’t Mossad. Tony let out a sigh of deep frustration.

“It makes me wild knowing he hurt you” he said quietly, coming up behind her. He didn’t know if she would allow touch right now, but he was willing to risk it.

He pressed his chest to her back, wrapping his arms around her front to settle on her stomach. His gaze dropping from hers as he pressed his face into the side of her neck. She was stiff in his arms, but he held her regardless.

“I just wish I could take all that pain away” he whispered against her skin, pressing a soft kiss to her neck. She relaxed in his arms then, her breath shaky as her hands came to touch his. And yeah, she was careful to avoid his hand that was pounding in pain.

“You do” she said, so quiet he almost missed it. He squeezed her a bit tighter at that.

“Then don’t lock me out, I won’t hurt you” his voice held such promise. He lifted his eyes to meet hers. She didn’t look so sure.

“You will not be here forever” she reminded him. Bringing up the one thought he tried to avoid. Yes, he would hurt her one day it was inevitable. He might not mean to, but it doesn’t mean it wasn’t going to happen. Because this posting wasn’t permanent.

She stepped out of his arms then, making a beeline for the door.

When she disappeared he was left staring at his reflection. How come when he finally finds someone that makes him feel the right way, and he make her feel the same way, that the universe was out to get him and just won’t let him be happy?

He guesses that life is never meant to be easy.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT

** Chapter Thirteen **

The rest of the afternoon was unbearable. No one talked to each other in passing and the room was still heavy from what happened in the morning. Ziva didn’t even look at anyone, let alone talk to anyone.

When he finally reached his room for the night, he didn’t know how he was going to sleep tonight. There was a knock on his door not long after he’d got in. When he answered the door Derek was looking at him, arms hauling a lot of booze.

“I’m coming in whether you like it or not” he smiled at Tony, pushing his way passed him. Tony was in a dark space, but he couldn’t help but chuckle a little.

“Make yourself at home then” he threw back. Derek chuckled.

“Here brother” Derek handed him a beer “I know you probably want to be alone, but I think you need some company” he said taking a seat on the couch. Tony figured it’s not like Ziva would be coming to see him after today, and he probably shouldn’t be left alone with his thoughts. So Derek wasn’t wrong.

Tony took a long drink from his beer before getting a couple of glasses from the cupboard for the whisky Derek had brought. Tonight, he’s going to need some of the hard stuff. He took a seat next to Derek as the other man read his mind and poured some very tall whisky’s.

“There was something more with that Michael guy today” Derek brought up after a bit of silence. Tony took a long drink of whiskey.

“Yeah, but that’s not my place to say” he told the man. But Derek was smarter than that.

“It definitely has something to do with Ziva” he guessed. Tony felt he man’s eyes heavy on him.

“You’re sleeping with her, aren’t you?” he asked. Tony let out a breath and ran his hand down his face. He was going to need a lot more whiskey before they have _this_ conversation. He almost emptied his glass and the whisky burnt his throat.

“Yeah” he whispered, not looking at the other man. He didn’t want to face that judgement right now. Derek didn’t say anything, he just topped his glass up for him.

“Give her time, there’s obviously a lot with this Michael guy, but she’ll come back” he explained. Tony didn’t know how Derek understood without knowing, but it seemed like he knew exactly what was going on. Tony’s eyes lifted to meet the other man’s gaze then.

“I’ve seen the way you two look at each other” Derek explained. His eyes were not judging Tony, all they offered was support “That’s how I look at my wife” he smiled softly at him. Derek clearly realised whatever was going on here was more than just sex. Tony wondered again, if he was being that fucking obvious about everything. Today probably didn’t help.

“I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, I’m just trying to help” Tony let out. Taking up another full glass and having a drink.

“You know she’s probably lived her life trying to stick up for herself, especially with her father being who he is. She probably wants to let you in, but it goes against everything she knows” Derek explained. He’s seen Ziva, she’s not a soft woman. She sticks up for herself and she doesn’t back down.

“I guess so” Tony shrugged. Derek’s phone started ringing just then, it was his wife.

“I’ll be back in a second brother” Derek gave his shoulder a quick squeeze before standing and heading for the door.

As Derek stepped out the door he almost bumped into Ziva. They both stared at each other for a moment, Ziva felt caught out, Derek felt like he’d caught her out. Derek put his hand over the receiver on his phone.

“He’s having a rough time” Derek told her, happy that she’d turned up. She didn’t look too flash either. “Feel free to go hard on that whisky and tell Tony I’ll catch him tomorrow, you’re probably much better company than me anyway” he smiled at her. The soft smile he received back told him she was grateful. 

“Thank you Derek” she stated. Derek disappeared then, apologizing to his wife over the phone for leaving her hanging.

Then she stepped into his apartment, closing the door behind her. When he looked up he was expecting to see Derek again, but then his eyes met hers.

“Ziva” he whispered. He didn’t think he would see her, not in his space, not tonight. She walked over and took a seat next to him on the couch, picking up Derek’s whisky and claiming it for herself. She took a long drink. She wasn’t looking at him and he reached out and placed a hand on her thigh.

“Hey” he said softly, getting her to look at him. Her eyes held his gaze for a bit but then looked down at his bruised knuckles. Her hand gathered his in hers, accessing the damage the wall had done to his fist.

“It’s fine, it’s not broken” he explained. Her eyes were soft when she looked at him again.

“That does not make it okay” she said. She felt bad, like she’d brought all this on him. Him being upset and punching walls, it was all her fault. He knew what she was thinking and he didn’t want those thoughts going any further. He moved closer to her and moved his hand to her cheek, bringing her gaze to his.

“It’s not your fault, it was stupid and I should have kept myself in check” he explained. Suddenly they were close, her eyes flickered to his lips. And before he knew it he was kissing her.

He was so demanding in his kiss and she was trying to take just as much from him. Her teeth biting into his lip, her hands suddenly ripping open the front of his shirt, not caring at all when his buttons went flying. Her leg lifted over his and she was suddenly on his lap, and tonight she was getting rough with him. Her hand gripped around his neck as she rubbed herself on him. Her tongue fighting his.

His hands were pulling at her shirt, he wanted that goddamn thing off right now. He wanted her naked. He wanted to be naked. It was almost like she read his bloody mind when suddenly she was standing and her shirt was over her head, bra included being thrown across the room. 

Then that cheeky smirk of hers was all over her face. She turned away from him and as she undid her pants and pulled them to the floor, she bent forward teasing him with a shake of her ass. His hands went to that pretty ass without a second thought. God, she drove him wild.

Just as his hands touched, she was spinning around and pushing him back into the couch. She dropped to her knees in front of him and his blood got hot then when she pulled his pants off him. He swears to god she was licking her lips when she was looking at his cock.

Fucking Jesus. Her hands were on him and she leant down to…

“Ziva” he whispered, grabbing her by the shoulders.

“Yes Tony?” she met his gaze, her eyes so dark black.

“You don’t have to do that” he said. But goddamn, he was holding his breath in anticipation for her lips on him right now.

“I want to” she whispered, her voice husky with her need for him.

“You don’t-“ he was cut off, trying to say she didn’t need to again when she ignored him and bent over, taking him in her hot little mouth.

“Fuck Ziva” he grunted out, his hands gripping hard onto the couch.

She was doing all sorts of crazy things he’d never experienced before. Her tongue was a demon with him and her hands were all over, coaxing him easily with her touch. He wove his hand into her curls then, because otherwise things were going to end rather quickly. And he wasn’t done with her yet.

“Ziva, if you don’t stop… I’m going to… fuck Ziva, please” his voice was breaking and he was so goddamn close right now that he felt like he was going to black out if he resisted it any longer.

But she didn’t fucking stop and he tried to hold it back, but he couldn’t and his chest pulled tight like he was having a heart attack when he let go and he had to close his eyes because he was all sorts of dizzy. He forced his eyes to open and she was staring at him with a smirk, like oh yeah, she can make him come that easy. He went to say something and her finger was on his lips, shushing him.

“I am not done with you yet” she explained, then she leant forward and kissed him hard before standing up and walking to his bed, wriggling her finger at him in a come-hither motion.

As he tried to stand on shaky legs he wondered if he was going to survive the night, because at this rate he didn’t think he was. By the time he got to his bed she was lying in the center, legs wide open, still wriggling that goddamn naughty finger at him. He climbed over her, as she demanded and his lips found hers again.

His hands were tracing her hips, her breasts, mapping out her body beneath him like he didn’t want to ever forget the way it curved. Her skin was so damn soft to touch. Her hands were all over his body too, her nails softly tracing down his back. Her hands grabbed his ass hard then, pulling him closer to her until he bumped against her between the her legs.

Yeah, he was already hard again and it blew his mind how that even happened. She was so wet, it was already covering him and he hadn’t even entered her yet, simply rubbed against her. He was definitely about to have a heart attack.

“Give it to me Tony” she whispered into his ear then. He swears this woman was trying to kill him. His hands were strong on her hips as he did as he was told, entering her.

“Ziva” he moaned, and yes, he’d realized her name was a constant on his lips during sex lately. It’s because he knows it’s her that drives him wild, not just the sex. Ziva David. It was her.

He kissed down her chest as his hips picked up a steady rhythm against her. His mouth finding her nipples and he sucked and licked them until her voice slipped out a moan. She was getting tighter and just when he thought she was about to let go, she stopped him.

He was about to say something when she pulled away and gave him that _look_ again. The one that made him think she was the devil sent from some secret sex planet. She turned onto her knees then and arched her ass towards him. She was looking at him over her shoulder, watching his reaction with a smirk. He ran his hands over her rear, if there was one thing about Ziva that he loved about her most, it was most definitely her ass.

He came up behind her, his hands on her hips and he had to hold his breath when he went back inside of her. He stopped to kiss her spine. He could see the angry purple on her back still and he just wanted to kiss it all better.

He started slowly, kissing her back, bucking his hips against her. He leant over her, his chest to her back. His hands wrapped around her front and held onto her breasts. He lifted her up against him then, her head falling back onto his shoulder. His lips came down to claim her neck as he picked up the pace then, not holding back.

His hips got faster and she was bending down again, so close to release she couldn’t hold herself up. His hands spread over her lower back and he dug his hands into her hips as he felt her start to let go. She buried her face into his pillow then and he heard the muffled scream she let out.

Three more thrusts and he couldn’t hold on any longer, not when she was gripping him like that and all wet and covering him in her pleasure like she owned every bit of him. He too moaned in sweet release. His chest going tight again, his breathing almost non-existent. They both collapsed onto the bed, he was half on top of her and trying not to crush her. His hand softly running down her back. His lips pressing to her shoulder.

“I swear you’re going to kill me one day” he whispered against her skin and she hummed in reply. She was content. They lay there for a while like that, his hand absently touching her skin. His lips kissed across her shoulders and at that, she slowly turned in his arms. He smiled down at her and brushed her unruly sexed up curls out of her face. She was smiling back.

Why was everything so at peace with them when they were like this? Sexed up and naked.

They hadn’t talked about anything, just had deliciously hot sex. He didn’t know how he felt about that but at the same time he wasn’t complaining. It was hard because he didn’t want to ignore what happened today, he wanted to talk about it. But at the same time when she wanted to fuck, he wasn’t going to goddamn say no. Ever.

And maybe that was a bad thing.

“Is this just sex to you?” he found himself asking. If he wasn’t so relaxed he knew those words would have never of left his mouth. He watched the way her eyes went slightly guarded on him and her smile dropped. However she didn’t move away from him so maybe that was one positive.

“It should be” she said softly, after what seemed like a million minutes. Her hand came up to touch his chest then, right over his heart and she avoided looking at him.

“I know” he whispered back and just pulled her closer until she was nestling against his chest and breathing into his neck. They both know just how much this should _just_ be sex, nothing more. But it seems like neither of them could really help it.

It went quiet for a long time then, he just lay there listening to her breathing against his neck and her fingers were on his lower back tracing circles there. This wasn’t exactly talking about it, but it was something. She wasn’t denying she felt deeper than just sex with him now.

That thought was almost scary, but isn’t there something about being scared that it gives you that secret little rush in your body? Because this scary did. No matter how much he should be running in the opposite direction. For a moment he thought she’d fallen asleep her breathing was that soft and her fingers had stopped exploring, but then she spoke very quietly.

“Promise me you will stay away from him?” she asked. It was so quiet he almost missed it. There was pain in her voice. She really didn’t want him involved in this. She didn’t want him handling Michael in any way for her. He knows his possessiveness for her is getting bad and his hands tighten around her in response.

“I don’t know if I can promise that Ziva, what if he-“ he began but she was pulling back to look down at him, cutting him off.

“I need you to promise this Tony” and her eyes held a steely seriousness to them. This was not something she was going to falter on. She might come to his door and get naked with him, open up to him and let him in. But not with this. This was different.

He brought his hand up to the side of her cheek and he noticed the way she leant into the touch, without effort and used every power in her body not to just relax and close her eyes. Because her eyes watched him, waiting for his answer.

“I promise” he whispered. A small smile touched her lips and her eyes closed as she leant into him and pressed her forehead to his.

“Thank you” she said, letting out a heavy breath.

There was such a deflation in her in that moment he wondered deep down why she didn’t want him involved? He wasn’t ever going to think any less of her, not even her darkest secrets would make him run from her. There was something about her that trumped anything.

Her being abused in the past didn’t make him think less of her. She was a beautiful, powerful woman and she was not broken, she was not damaged. He would never think that. She was a warrior. He wanted to tell her all this in that moment, spill all his secret confessions about her but his throat was choking up and he didn’t want to scare her away.

He settled for pulling her into him as he lay back and she sprawled over him, weaving her leg between his and resting her head on his shoulder. His lips touched her forehead and he wasn’t sure when, but it didn’t take him long to fall asleep with her in his arms like that. 


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little naughty.

** Chapter Fourteen  **

Things had been better, even if they hadn’t talked about it. Maybe that meant that things were okay and maybe this sex thing would work as it was meant to. Because the sexual tension between them was back and now there was banter. Really hot banter that made his blood on fire with need for her. She knew exactly how to tense him.

They hadn’t seen Michael in a few days, so maybe her father had listened to whatever she went to him with and he’d been sent on his merry way. Far, far away. Tony wished to never see that bastard ever again.

As far as the case was going, his lead on the website had actually gone somewhere. Azriel had found out that in one of the online chats on the webpage, our guy was fishing for supports against the game site. That’s where he’d found the IDF soldier. As for the victims, they were a target after posting positive game reviews and somewhat racist comments on the site.

So, they had one thing, the way he was picking his victims and his support. Azriel was working on an IP address but it seemed as though the guy they were hunting was smart, his IP was tracking to multiple different locations.

They’d just gone home for the day and he tried to squeeze in a call back home before Ziva came over. She’d been at his apartment every night; hot sex was on the menu each time. He couldn’t get enough but at the same time he ached for more. His emotional side scratching at him like it never had before.

Just then Kate and Abby popped up on his laptop screen.

“Tonyyyyyy!” Abby all but screeched, leaning as close to the screen as she could to see him “Timmy, hurry up!” she then hollered at the younger male. McGee appeared on the screen not long after that and it looked as though they were all cramming around Kate’s desk.

“Hey guys, miss me yet?” he charmed. There was two no’s and one yes. He could see on Kate’s face she wasn’t serious, McGee however looked serious. Tony gets it, he’s probably in probie heaven without being teased every five seconds. Both of them received slaps from Abby.

“They miss you so much!” Abby stated. Tony laughed.

“How’s it going over there?” Kate then asked.

“Good, busy though. No rest for the wicked of course. Sadly, we aren’t much closer. This guy we are hunting is very tidy, calculated” Tony explained.

“Sounds like you’re losing your touch DiNozzo” Tony heard Gibbs gruff voice over the video. He did not see his El Jefe, however, he must have been in proximity. Probably at his desk. Tony smiled. He hadn’t realised how much he missed his team until right now.

“I don’t have you around to smack my brain back into action boss” he replied and he heard a gruff mumble _sounds like you need a good smack_ and the three in front of him laughed. 

They all talked for a while. Abby was updating him on the current status of her bowling teams wins and losses and that Mary had finally retired. Kate mainly talked about work and McGee tried to explain how nice it had been without him around lately. Tony had a massive smile on his face when he ended the call. His family was definitely a mixed bag, but he loved it. He’d just closed the video chat window when his door clicked open and his Israeli beauty walked through the door, locking it behind her. _His?_ She had a smile and she noticed his mood from the moment she entered the room.

“Watching porn?” she quirked and he laughed, smirking at her. She was always so sultry and he loved it.

“Funnily enough, no. Just video called the guys back home” he explained and her smile softened as she came to join him on the couch.

“By the looks of it, you are all very close, yes?” she suggested. He nodded his head. He brought his laptop onto his lap and opened one of his photo albums.

“This is McGee, aka Probie, McGoo or any other nickname with a Mc on the front. That and Elf Lord” he smiled at the picture of McGee. He’d just vomited at a crime scene and Tony had snapped the aftermath. McGee had not been impressed at all. Ziva leant into him, resting her head on his shoulder as she looked at the computer screen.

“He looks very unwell in this photo” she stated and he laughed.

“Body had been in a hot tub for a week, McPuke didn’t handle it too well” Tony kept laughing at the memory. Ziva screwed her nose at the thought of exactly what that would smell like. Then she chucked at how much Tony was laughing. His eyes were glowing with humour.

“And this is Kate” he showed her a picture of Kate where she was giving him the stare of death.

“I would be correct in believing you probably deserved that look?” she smiled at him. He chuckled.

“I guess, I put flour on her chair and she didn’t notice her pants were covered until a young cop told her at the crime scene she had white powder all over her backside, and obviously we were at the crime scene so she had to stay like that for the next three hours” he barked out a laugh at that one. Her smirk was huge, watching him laugh like that.

“I hope she got you back” Ziva replied.

“Oh yeah, she put hair loss cream in my shower gel at work, I couldn’t go on a date for months after that because my body hair was all patchy” he explained. Ziva laughed hard at that one.

“This is Abby” he showed her a picture of Abby clutching onto a Caf-pow drink “She’s the happiest goth you’ll ever meet” he explained.

“What is a goth?” Ziva’s frowned, having no idea what Tony was talking about. That, made Tony laugh this time.

“Black clothes, dog collars, into mysterious and dark things. Something like that” he shrugged. He honestly didn’t know how to explain it. Ziva just looked at him all confused.

“Google it sweetcheeks” he chuckled, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. As he clicked on a rare picture of Gibbs, he’d managed to snap his heart started pounding in his chest, did he just call her sweetcheeks? By the coy smile on her lips aimed at him, yeah, he had.

He cleared his throat “Gibbs, the boss” he continued, trying to move forward. She relaxed back into his shoulder and it seemed as though she was letting that slip of the tongue slide. Thank god. He wasn’t one of those guys who used pet names, so the slip up was weird.

“He looks grumpy” she pointed out. He was scowling at Tony behind the camera. Yeah, he’d got a slap or two after this picture.

“He’s always grumpy” Tony laughed. He didn’t quite get to Ducky or Palmer because Ziva put her hand on his chest then, smiling at him.

“They make you very happy” she stated and he placed the laptop on the coffee table in front of him, turning his body to face hers more. He touched his fingers to her thigh that was touching his.

“Very, they are like family to me” he explained. Her smile was very understanding then.

“I know what you mean” she had her own family like that, Ezra and Azriel. Going through difficult things with a team like that, death, destruction, it builds strong bonds when you add trust to the mix.

He’d been so open with her tonight, showing her the team like that. He never let anyone know that much, especially not someone he was just having sex with. But she was different. He wanted her to know who his family were. Ziva shifted then, pulling her phone from her pants pocket. He watched her flick through a few things on her phone until she smiled.

“Other than Ezra and Azriel, my brother Ari is the only person I trust” she explained, showing him a photo of her and her brother. She was laughing and he was smiling at her. The photo looked at least 10 years old. The fact she was opening up to him like this, meant so much. He saw the way she smiled at the photo, like it was very precious to her.

“I do not see him much anymore” she said as she ran her finger down the photo.

“He Mossad too?” he asked and she nodded before placing her phone back into her pocket.

“Yes, my father has him doing all sorts. As you can imagine” she explained. He knows what her father was like with using her, so it must not be much different with her brother.

“Oh, I can only imagine. You looked happy in that photo” he observed and she smiled softly but her gaze avoided his then. However, her hand gently touched his healing hand, running her fingers along his.

“That was the last time my family was together before my mother and sister were killed” she explained. Damn, she was really giving it all to him tonight. Not holding back one bit. He turned his hand into hers, weaving his fingers between hers.

“I’m sorry” he whispered. Her eyes raised to his then, emotion heavy in them but she smiled softly at him.

“It is okay, that was a long time ago now” she explained. He could tell it still hung with her; she carried that weight on her shoulders. Just like his mother’s death when he was young, he’s always carried that with him. She held his gaze for a little, that emotion radiating from her in waves. Clearly, she was close with her family before half of them were taken. Tony wondered if her father had always been an asshole or was he once a good dad?

“Anyways” she said shaking her head, conversation change “Do you have any of your American movies on this?” she said pointing at his laptop. That was as much as she was going to share tonight, but he was okay with that. She’d given him a lot tonight, let him in deeper than she ever had before. He appreciated it.

“Of course, don’t be silly” he mocked being offended and she smiled. She’d found out about his movie obsession a couple nights ago when he absently mentioned the amount of time he spent watching movies back home.

“Can we watch one?” she asked and he was surprised at that. But was not at all going to turn down the idea.

“On one condition” he stated, smirking. She suddenly smirked back at him.

“Yes Tony?” she chuckled softly. Expecting this to be an offer of sexual trade for movie privileges.

“I only share my movies if I get private cinema cuddles” he propositioned. She giggled. _Giggled._ No sexual trading, but he still wanted to touch of course.

“Fair deal” she agreed, winking at him.

* * *

They were about halfway through Terminator, because he thought all the action in that would tickle her fancy, when the cuddling turned into kissing. He wasn’t complaining really. His laptop was pushed off to the side of the bed and his hand was weaved into her hair, his lips soft on hers.

He was taking his time with her tonight and she was happy on the path. Her leg was wedged between his and her hand was running along his ribs. Her tongue slow, gently pressing into his mouth. This wasn’t like every other time. They’d always been so hot and quick with each other. This, was different.

There was something else beneath this.

He enjoyed the way her curls were smooth in his hand, the smell of her coconut shampoo intoxicating him with each brush of his fingers through her hair. That mixed with the smell that was just _her_ drove him crazy. He was addicted to it. His other hand at her hip kept her glued tight to his side and he couldn’t help but run his thumb across the soft skin at the dip of her hip. She shivered at that touch each time he stroked his thumb there.

He rolled on top of her then, not making this any faster, no. He was still planning on taking his sweet time with her tonight. Her legs widened for him when he did, so his body would settle right where she wanted it to. His body weight was heavy on her, pressing her into the mattress. He could feel her heat already through the small panties she wore. Of course, he hadn’t let her in his bed with pants on, don’t be ridiculous.

His lips left hers and softly trailed along her jawline. Her head lifted back, giving him full access to her neck then. He smiled against the skin there. She loved this just as much as he did. He kissed slowly down her neck and there she was shaking under his touch again. A soft moan escaped her lips at that too.

“I knew I let you in my bed with far too many clothes on” he breathed against her neck as his lips came to the neckline of her shirt. That thing needed to be gone, now. He felt her chuckle beneath him.

Her shirt, bra and panties were gone with a quick fumble and he had her pressed back into the mattress, lips to that soft skin again. Her hands bunched into his hair when his tongue found her nipple. Tonight, he wasn’t going to rush. He was going to appreciate every single part of her that he loved, and he loved her whole body. So, this was probably going to take all night.

His other hand found her other breast, because he didn’t want it to feel left out. Her back arched into his touch at that. He wanted to melt her into a puddle of need to a point where she begged for him.

He kissed his way to her other breast, finding the nipple and giving it just as much attention as the other. His hand trading places. She breathed his name and her hands pulled his hair tighter. She liked that, yeah. He made a mental note that she clearly enjoyed her breasts and nipples getting such attention.

He was going to have to start a novel about what she liked, because he wanted to remember every goddamn little detail. Everything that made her shiver, moan. _Come_. His lips trailed down her belly then, slow. She was losing her composure at this point, her legs wriggling about and her mouth making all these little huffs and puffs in heavy frustration.

“Tony” his name on her lips was a demand. That he speed his ass up because she was losing control of her senses. He smirked against her skin, nibbling lightly on that soft skin of her hips. This is exactly where he wanted her to be, melting beneath his gentle touch. Clearly it was working.

“Patient sweetcheeks” he whispered. His heartrate spiked then; he’d used that damn word again. But again, she didn’t seem to mind because she definitely had the ability to kick him in the ribs right now if she really wanted. She didn’t. Her legs just parted further for him as his lips travelled lower and suddenly her scent hit him as his lips hovered inches from tasting her.

He could see in the dim light of the bedside light; she was so wet for him and he hadn’t even touched her there yet. He felt his own hips jerk into the mattress at that sight, he was deliciously hard for her right now. Just as he leant down and ran his tongue over her, tasting exactly how wet she was for him, his phone started ringing. Who the fuck had the balls to be calling him right this bloody second and interrupting?

He outwardly groaned. Before shifting on the bed and reaching over for his phone on the bedside table. His face hovered over Ziva’s as he did and her eyes were pitch black, her face looking as annoyed as he felt that someone had the cheek to interrupt this. He pressed his lips to hers in a hard kiss then.

“Sorry” he told her. He noticed the pink that was blushing her cheeks. She must have really been enjoying his slow exploration. Dammit.

“DiNozzo” he answered, his tone as unimpressed as he felt.

“Sorry if I woke you Agent DiNozzo” Abbotts voice filled his ear. Tony looked at the clock, it read 01:04. Tony knew what this call was about before his current boss told him and he was so not happy about it.

“We’ve got another dead marine” Abbott finished and the words were sealing Tony’s fate. He let his head fall into the mattress. Hard.

“Right, I’ll see you soon” Tony said and Abbott wasted no time in hanging up to call the next person.

“Fuck sakes” Tony groaned, smacking his head on the mattress a few times. This was so, _so_ inconvenient right now. “I’m guessing you heard the conversation?” he winced, looking at Ziva then.

Lust was still heavy in her eyes but she suddenly giggled. _Again_. Jesus. He couldn’t help at laugh too, because just their luck.

“Yes” she confirmed rolling him over suddenly and yeah, he felt her wet heat brush over his cock right then “I will definitely be taking a cloud check on this however” she said, kissing him hard and pushing her tongue into his mouth to get one last taste of him for good measure. He chuckled as she stood and started getting dressed.

“Rain check Ziva, it’s a rain check” he explained. He loved it when she did that, because she was always so innocent when she got those sayings wrong. She really thought she had it right when she said it. It made him smile.

“Whatever it is, I am not done with you” she winked. He groaned again, closing his eyes and trying to will his cock to calm the fuck down. He heard her laugh at his pain. No doubt, he knew she would be suffering the same, but she was much better at hiding it than him. She was always so much more composed than him. Except for when he went down on her and-

His thoughts were cut off by Ziva kissing him again, he opened his eyes and she was fully dressed, pistol on her hip.

“I will see you shortly” she whispered and just as she did that her phone started ringing. As she walked out of his door, he watched her answer the phone.

He was definitely going to need a cold shower, even if it was only for 10 seconds. He needed his body to calm down. It was going to be a very, very long night. After his quick shower he met up with Derek and Sarah. As they headed off to the hangers with their gears, he realised he could still taste Ziva in his mouth. _Fuck._ It was going to be an excruciatingly long night now. 


	15. Chapter Fifteen

** Chapter Fifteen  **

The scene was the same as those before. Dead marine hanging, a life wasted. The killer was still keeping things tidy, no evidence. This time, there was no trap, no one waiting to shot at them. That made Tony wonder exactly what he was planning. It wasn’t like him to not leave some sort of surprise.

He was taking photos of the scene, getting all the details while others bagged evidence. His eyes couldn’t help but drift to _her_ every now and then.

He stayed focused, but a cheeky once over never hurt anyone. He enjoyed watching her in her element. The way she marched around, directing the IDF soldiers. If you really watched her you noticed just how much attention to detail she took. The way she assessed every little part of a scene, every little movement someone took.

She was particular, efficient and he knows that is what made her good at her job. He got back to snapping some photos when his eyes caught a glimpse of something. The dead marine’s hand was clutched extra tight, like he was gripping onto something desperately. He snapped a photo.

“Sarah, you see this?” he said getting closer. Sarah was currently bagging evidence around the body. She stepped over to where he was, looking to where he pointed at the closed hand.

“He clearly was clenching that hand hard as he died” she bent down to touch the hand, Tony taking photos as she did.

“I wonder if it’s significant” Tony stated as Sarah attempted to pry the hand open. Rigor mortis had long set in so it proved difficult. A small crack of bone and the fingers were open. Tony always hated that sound, it made him uncomfortable every single time.

When his eyes saw a few tiny rocks in the man’s hand, he thought that it may just be significant after all. He snapped another photo.

“What do you think these are?” Sarah asked him, looking at the little bits of gravel.

“I have no idea, but by the way he was holding onto them, I wouldn’t put it passed them being important in some way” he replied.

Sarah collected the little pieces up and bagged them. Labelled this bag extra important for forensics. Who knows what they might tell, but Tony would bet they fit in the story somewhere. They needed some credible leads. Every new death this killer displayed for them, made Tony’s skin crawl. He wanted this bastard stopped.

* * *

Later when he was in their office, his mind did get distracted a little. It was the next day by this point and the more tired he became, the more his mind slipped from the task at hand to the distracting thought of Ziva.

Especially when she bent over the desk to reach something, he swore her ass was just pointing at him and giving him naughty ideas.

He found himself really needing some caffeine right now, he needed to wake up before his distractions called for another cold shower. He walked over to the coffee machine to the side of the room, starting to make himself a brew.

He felt her coming long before she reached his side, he could always just feel her presence now. His body could smell hers from a mile away, it was that fond of her. She pressed closer to him than he would have expected. His eyes shot to the room briefly, Azriel was deep into his computer screen and Derek and Sarah were still doing something with some evidence. Not that Tony cared about what they thought about his proximity to her at this hour of the morning, desperate for sleep.

“Are you going to make me one?” she asked, her eyes giving him a look that held a sparkle of lust. So even little Miss Professional hadn’t forgot about him during the evening. _Interesting._ He found himself leaning into her, she was almost pressed into his side.

“That depends, what do I get in return?” he asked, sending her a wink as she placed her coffee cup on the table. He placed his hand on the cup then, touching his fingers to hers. They both knew they held their hands there far longer than necessary. But the touch was like a forbidden fruit and they both craved it.

“What would you like?” she asked, her voice holding that tone that she normally reserved for the bedroom. Or the secret hanger behind the bar. Tony’s eyes held hers, his finger stroking hers softly.

“You, right back where I had you before I was interrupted” he whispered. He hoped everyone in the room weren’t paying attention to how hard they were eye fucking each other right now. She gave him the elevator eyes then, smirking at him.

“I do not see how that is a reward for _you_ , but I will agree to these terms” she returned.

“Oh, you have no idea Miss David” he rolled her last name off his tongue. That, got him another gaze head to toe. He swore to god he heard her purr at him before she smiled and turned, walking back to her desk. He didn’t miss the way she put a little extra effort into the swing of her hips.

As hard as this night had been already to keep himself together, it just got so much harder. _He_ got harder. Fuck. He was going to have to take his time making the coffee, so he could calm himself down.

This woman drove him wild.

* * *

The rocks they had found, turned out to have some significance. The forensics guy downstairs had tracked down where that specific rock had come from. Tel Aviv. Israel. Pinpointed to a specific neighbourhood where that stone was common. So now they had a particular area in which their killer had been.

He wonders if this marine had realised his fate and tried to leave a clue.

Tomorrow they planned on doing some surveillance in this part of the city, seeing if anything stood out. Azriel had also began looking at whether or not any buildings in that area had been accessing that gaming site Tony had come across. So far, no luck. But Azriel would continue to look.

Tony had been and gone to dinner and he walked back to the office to gather up a few things before he headed home for the night, he was exhausted. Walking into the office he saw Ziva was still there, everyone else had disappeared. She was sitting at a desk on a computer, typing away.

He walked up behind her, placing his hands on the desk either side of her. His lips grazing her neck. He was highly aware of the way her fingers stumbled on the keyboard when he did this.

“Are you going to be here all night, or can I interest you in something far more relaxing?” he whispered. He saw the way her pulse on her neck jumped at his words. She stopped her typing and turned her head towards him, her lips so close to his they almost touched.

She purred at him then. Jesus, she was such a sex kitten when it came to them it drove him crazy.

“I was not planning on being here much longer, I have things to finish, yes?” her eyes darking as she stared at his lips. His temperature rose at that. He swore he’d been half hard most of the day. He didn’t know how long he was going to be able to last after this excruciatingly long day. And if she felt anything like he did, he’d make her melt in seconds.

“That you do” he returned, pressing his chest against her back. All he wanted to do right now was touch his lips to hers, but if he started that here, there would be no stopping.

His heart almost broke out of his chest when he heard the office door open, because he was all up in Ziva’s space right now. The sexual tension obvious. He relaxed slightly when his eyes met Ezra.

The man had stopped mid-step, staring at the two of them. Clearly interrupting whatever had just been happening. Then a chuckle slipped from his lips and he continued into the room.

“You two really need to go somewhere private and sort out this sexual tension you’ve been carrying all damn day” he accused them, laughing.

Tony laughed, standing and backing up from Ziva. He scratched his head awkwardly. They’d been caught out, and yes, their tension had been obvious. Clearly.

Tony knows he’s talked to Ezra about things and even briefly mentioned in to Derek, but with Ziva also in the room the conversation of them suddenly felt all sorts of strange. He cleared his throat, busing himself with gathering the things he had initially came to the office for.

“Shut up Ezra” Ziva rolled her eyes at her friend, laughing also. When Tony’s eyes caught hers, she seemed somewhat amused at the way he had become all awkward.

Once Tony gathered his things, he made an escape from the office. He was so turned on right now and if he’s not careful, he’ll say all sorts of stuff that Ezra will raise his eyes at. That paired with his exhaustion, was dangerous. That’s when playful I-will-definitely-get-in-trouble Tony came out to play. Even though Ezra knew about them, he wasn’t willing to risk his stupid horny mouth with the man right now.

He walked his way back to his room, letting the cool evening air flow through him. He didn’t know what it was about her that made him go crazy like this for her. Yes, everything about her sex was absolutely amazing. But it was oh so much more than that. He’s worried that he’s already too deep, but he cannot stop himself. He wants her, as much as he can.

She’s an addiction, and he’s finally admitting he’s an addict for her. He’s not ready to let go of this addiction, he won’t until his hand is forced. Until he’s on that plane home and the rest is out of his control. He knows he’s going to suffer hard, crushing consequences for this. But he’s willing to take that. To know he spent all the time he could with her, shared everything he could, would be more worth it then not even giving into that need.

He got to his place and had a hot shower, letting the water almost burn his skin. It didn’t help with the heavy tension his balls held and he thought about touching himself, but he didn’t dare. He wanted her to see how much she built a need in him. It would make the experience all the more worth it if it was her touch and not his own.

He was fixing himself a drink, towel around his waist and body still damp when his door clicked open and closed with the click of the lock sliding across.

When he turned to look at her, make some kind of cheeky comment, she was already across the room and her lips were crashing into his. Her hands were already going for her own pants. Oh yeah, she’d been craving him just as desperately as he had. He knew this wasn’t going to last long. This wasn’t going to continue in the same fashion as last night. No, this was going to be very hard and fast.

The thought of that had his heart pounding and his cock hard in seconds.

Her lips were needy on his, sloppy. His hands were on her ass as soon as her pants dropped to the floor. She all but moaned into his mouth when he pressed his desire into her then. The only time she moved away from him was so she could remove the rest of her clothes. Her naked body was on his suddenly and he felt like he’d never seen a woman undress that quick before.

Then again, Ziva wasn’t just any woman.

He turned them around then, pressing her hard into the kitchen bench. He couldn’t help but rub his hips against her, showing her just how ready he was for her already. Her hands were at his back, digging into the skin hard. She was aching for him.

He could scent her heavy need in the air and he groaned into her mouth. She was so fucking glorious. His hand stroked down her side, over her hip. She was shivering at his touch. She was going to crumble just as hard as he was at the need inside.

He drew his hand around to the inside of her leg, her skin so soft there. He drew her leg up then, opening her for him. Her lips gasped against his as he didn’t waste any time and pressed the length of him into her. He held there for a moment, letting her adjust to him. Her eyes opened and held his gaze. Her eyes were dark, that all knowing lust heavy in them.

She just stared at him, her eyes telling him all sorts of things that were dangerous. Because that wasn’t just lust that was showing there, there was something far more secret. Far more emotional. It scared him, but at the same time he wanted that look, wanted all those emotions from her. Because he knew he held them too. He wondered then what she could see in his own gaze right now.

His hips bucked against her then, testing her readiness for him. Her reaction was exactly what he craved, her head leant back and he watched the way her eyes rolled back in pleasure. Yeah, she was ready for him.

He brought his arm around her back, holding onto her for support as she lifted her hips around him and leant back onto the bench behind her, the move drawing him deeper. He brought his rhythm to a steady pace, giving her all that tension he’d held onto all day.

The more she moaned, the quicker he got. She didn’t stop moaning and he was giving it to her so hard her head started bumping into the wall behind her. She didn’t seem to give a damn fuck about that right this second, she was so lost in him.

He pulled her closer to him and leant down, putting his hand between her head and the wall to stop her bumping against it. This put his body right over hers and her eyes were meeting his. He swore he saw her pupils get bigger at that and at her squirming he figured the angle was hitting her exactly where she wanted.

She gripped around him then, hard, and he knew she was about to give it to him. His hips lost any kind of pattern at that and he was just thrusting into her furiously. She was holding his gaze right now and that made his heart tight and gave him a new sensation. There was something different when she held his eyes while she was this close. He was messy, losing his sanity.

Her eyes didn’t leave his as she came for him, _hard_. Her pleasure was all over him and his breath was stolen at the feeling, the moment shared. He came just as hard as her, riding the wave for all he could. And he didn’t take his eyes from hers.

There had been something different in that, he’d never looked at anyone like that before, never in a moment such as that. It was such a deep personal experience. It was not lightly shared. Then she kissed him, her lips soft. Nothing like the messy sex that they had just shared. He kissed her back, breathless.

* * *

She hadn’t said a word to him since the sex in the kitchen and for some reason the silence wasn’t killing him, it was peaceful. He’d never found silence peaceful; he was a talker after all. But there was something about this that he liked.

They’d showered together and he’d washed her body. Lathered the soap all over her skin, not missing an inch of her. He wanted to touch every little part of her. He’d left her in there by herself for a bit while he made them a hot tea.

Now, he sat with his back against the wall at the end of his bed and she was nestled between his legs, her back against his chest. Her naked skin was warm against his own. One hand held his tea, the other was wrapped lazily around her stomach.

This, this was very peaceful. Everything about her brought such a tranquil feeling deep within him.

This definitely wasn’t just sex anymore, and that feeling was from both sides. She’d let him in and he’d all but climbed inside and tried to make himself a nest there. But talking about it, that was another story.

If they talked about it, it would be real. People would get hurt. Because, like he kept reminding himself he would be leaving one day. He knows this will hurt him, leaving her. However, he wasn’t just worried about hurting himself. Ziva had had enough hurt in her life.

Maybe it was inevitable that they were going to be hurt, but as he held her just now, it felt like the burn from the flames at the end would be worth it.


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay team, so this is not a nice chapter. We start heading into some serious angst here. Every rainbow has to have a storm first, right?   
> Also, little bit of an AU spin on the interrogation scene in Aliyha. Because I do love that scene.

** Chapter Sixteen **

It had been a long day of surveillance today; he didn’t leave the dingy apartment he and Sarah had been couped up in all day. The day today had definitely dragged on. He hadn’t seen Ziva all day as she had been off on some ninja tasks in the neighbourhood, trying to find information on a different avenue.

He and Sarah had returned to the office not long ago and just packed up their equipment. Everyone else had either finished up or was still out doing their tasks so they decided to call it off for the night. It was late, just before midnight so he couldn’t wait to get into bed.

He didn’t know if Ziva would make an appearance tonight, she was probably still off doing what she does best.

Sarah had left not too long ago, he told her to head home as he had a couple things he wanted to finish up. Now, he was finished and was walking back to the apartments. He didn’t know what was happening until he was on him, grabbing him around the neck. He’d come out of nowhere, slipping out from the darkness.

Tony was struggling for breath and he swung his elbow back into the assailant’s chest. That broke the grip from his neck and Tony spun, swinging out a right hook. He made contact with the face of the man behind the attack.

Michael.

“What the fuck?” Tony was outraged. Where the hell had this come from?

Michael reached out, grabbing him by the throat and gripping hard. His other hand swung out and connected with Tony’s face. Realistically, Tony was no match for Michael, but that didn’t mean he was going to back down. 

“You should have kept your hands off her” Michael growled at him, hitting him again. That comment had put more fire in Tony’s blood. So, this is what this is about? Tony swept his leg out at Michaels, bringing them both crashing onto the ground. He saw blood suddenly, coming from who he wasn’t sure. 

“You need to leave her the fuck alone” Tony spat. This guy, seriously just didn’t give up.

They scuffled on the ground, Michael twisting his arm to the point where his shoulder gave protest. Tony was trying to get his hands-on Michael, trying to get him to let him the fuck go. That’s when Tony saw the knife and his heart started really pounding. Was this guy going to kill him just for sleeping with Ziva? Surely not.

Tony’s hands went to Michael’s wrist when he saw the knife come towards him, they fought over the knife and it caught Tony on his own wrist. Blood was definitely everywhere now. Tony was losing this fight; he wasn’t as strong as Michael.

As much as Tony wrestled with Michael, the knife clipped him buy his ribs. Not quite getting him deep, Tony’s resistance most likely saving his life on that one. They rolled and Michael had him from behind now, Tony holding his wrist with all his strength as it came up to his neck. This was it. This was how he was going to die.

All for _her_. But honestly, it had been worth it. 

He only had one option right now, and it was either going to work in his favour or he was going to have his throat cut. He quickly let one hand go from Michaels wrist, going to his shoulder holster under his arm. As the knife touched his neck, he pulled the trigger.

Michael’s hand dropped from his neck then and Tony tried to stand and get away, he lost his footing and fell, only managing to crawl away. As Tony saw Michael’s body go limp, blood seeping from his chest where Tony had shot him, everything had gone white noise in his head.

His ears were ringing, his whole body hurt. He had blood all over him. Multiple soldiers were running out, guns drawn. He fell back, closing his eyes.

_Fuck._

* * *

As soon as the soldiers got to him there was all sorts of yelling and grabbing, obviously he was the one who didn’t belong and he was still breathing so he _must_ be the bad guy in this. Derek had appeared not long after that, defending him and almost starting a fight with them.

Tony had insisted he was fine, but Derek wasn’t putting up with his bullshit. Derek wasn’t dumb, he could see he’d taken damage and not just a little. Tony ended up at the hospital in the city, not left alone. Derek had refused to leave him alone and definitely not alone with Mossad. There were two Mossad agents who had followed them to the hospital, not letting Tony leave their sight.

He was in some deep shit now. Tony wondered if he was going to suffer the fate of being sent home, or something far worse once Eli David had finished wiping the floors with him. Pissing off Mossad wasn’t on the top of Tony’s to do list. He may not have meant to, but it seems as though that’s exactly what he’d done.

He was starting to think maybe dying would have been easier.

He felt slightly uncomfortable when the doctor made him take his shirt off and Derek and the two Mossad guys were in the room. Talk about no doctor-patient confidentially. He winced as the shirt came off, the blood had dried somewhat and made his shirt stick to his ribs. Now that the adrenaline had worn off, he was really sore.

The doctor’s hands came to him, assessing all the damage. He could see himself in a mirror across the room and he felt so exposed suddenly. Wounds and secrets scaring his skin for too many eyes to see.

He saw the gash on his ribs, the one on his wrist, blood all over his skin. His eyebrow was split, more blood there. A black eye, bruised jaw. A small cut to the side of his neck, where the blade had pressed just as he pulled the trigger.

Those were the wounds; however, he was more worried about the secrets exposed on his skin.

He could see remnants of _her_ teeth marks on his shoulder and if that was still there his back would still hold the scratches from her hands clawing at him in pleasure. Those were things he didn’t want anyone seeing, those were private. 

He didn’t miss the way all the eyes in the room assessed every inch of him. They would see those marks, know exactly what they were from. Suddenly his mind was now on her, what was she going to think? What was she going to do when she found out he killed her abusive ex-boyfriend? When he’d promised to leave him alone.

He closed his eyes as the doctor began cleaning his skin with something that stung. This was such a mess.

* * *

The doctor had cleaned him up, stitched him up. He had just finished putting the bandages on when the door swung open and Ezra was bursting into the room. He took one look at Tony, eyes of concern in his gaze. He then turned to the Mossad agents and that was when he started speaking in Hebrew.

The conversation was heated and at one point the doctor dismissed himself. Derek didn’t seem to know what was being said either, but he was standing between them and Tony. Ready to fight if anyone thought they were getting their hands-on Tony.

Derek was ready to bat for Tony, no questions asked. Tony was sure Ezra swore in Hebrew just before the two Mossad agents left the room. Ezra turned to them and let out a long breath.

“Fucking spooks” Ezra muttered before walking towards Tony and Derek “Are you okay?” he asked as he got to Tony, assessing all the bandages and stiches. He handed him a shirt then and Tony didn’t miss the way his eyes flickered to his shoulder briefly, eyeing the secrets.

“Yeah I’ll be fine” Tony stated, wincing as he slipped on the shirt Ezra had given him.

“You definitely aren’t fine Tony” Derek spoke up for the first time since they’d got to the hospital.

“Well it could be worse; I could be fucking dead” Tony snapped. He was suddenly not in the mood for anything. He just wanted to go back to last night, before this all happened and Ziva was snuggled into his arms. When everything felt so carefree.

“Yeah well you’re not dead, a Mossad agent is” Ezra began, raising his voice to meet Tony’s “And yeah I bet Michael fucking deserved it and you were justified, but that doesn’t mean Eli isn’t going to try and come for you over this” Ezra explained. This wasn’t time for Tony to get his knickers in a twist. He needed to pull his head out of his ass and be very careful about his next step.

Tony closed his eyes, bringing his hands into his hair and letting out a very heavy breath.

“Now you need to tell me exactly what happened, because I’ll do my best to keep you from drowning under that asshole” Ezra explained, his tone tight. Tony knows he hates Eli. The fact Ezra was willing to bat for his team, against his boss was something Tony hadn’t truly expected.

Tony’s eyes were still closed, hands fisting in his hair. He took a deep breath and looked up and Ezra and Derek.

“He attacked me because I’m sleeping with her and that didn’t seem to sit too well with him” Tony said quietly. This part of the story wouldn’t leave this room. Ezra briefly flicked his eyes to Derek, but he suddenly realised he wasn’t the only one who knew about them. 

“I tried to get away from him and then he pulled that goddamn knife on me. I had no choice; it was me or him” Tony continued. Neither of the males in front of him believed anything else, they know he was justified.

The only thing was, Eli had to be convinced of that.

Ezra’s phone rang then and after looking at the screen his eyes caught Tony’s. It was _her_.

“She’s not happy” Ezra warned him before he took his leave from the room to take the phone call. Clearly, he didn’t want the phone call to be in earshot of Tony.

Tony raised his eyes to the celling, closing his eyes. He guessed when he gets back, he should probably start packing his bags, he didn’t think he was going to be here much longer.

* * *

She was so angry right now; her blood was boiling. She didn’t know who to be mad with, Tony, Michael, her father. All of them.

When she was on the way back from her job and she’d got a call from Ezra, telling her what had happened she didn’t know how to feel. Every emotion had spun in her head at once to the point she felt dizzy. She’d finally reached the end of her tether.

By the time she got back to base Tony was back from the hospital and was being held in an interrogation room. She knew her father, she knew that he would be trying to hang Tony for this. Was it his fault? Had he been the one who approached Michael?

She’d told him not to and he’d promised her. _Fucking promised_.

She marched herself into the viewing room, her steps coming to a halt as her eyes settled on Abbott and Ezra. They both looked pissed off. She didn’t say a word to either of them, just turned to look through the privacy glass into the next room.

Her father had just entered the room, slamming the door behind him.

It wasn’t often her father did this anymore, interrogated. She couldn’t remember the last time she had seen him. That just told her how serious it was. She crossed her arms and didn’t take her eyes from the scene in front of her.

“Agent DiNozzo” Eli’s voice held a venom to it as he said Tony’s name.

“Director David” Tony returned. God, she hoped he wasn’t going to take her father on in challenge, he would snap him in two.

“You want to explain to me why one of my agents is dead?” Eli began. He walked around behind Tony, sitting himself on the edge of the desk in front of Tony. His eyes were burning a hole down on Tony and she knew her father was trying to intimated him.

She’d seen many men falter under her father’s intimidating, but Tony, he just looked up at her father and held his gaze. Not backing down.

“Would you be having the same conversation with him if I’d let him cut my throat and you had a dead U.S agent on your hands?” Tony threw in challenge. She could almost feel the anger rise in her father without seeing his face.

“My agents do not attack for no reason” Eli rose to the challenge, almost ignoring the question from Tony. At that, she watched as Tony laughed at her father. _Laughed._ Tony leant closer to Eli and Ziva wondered if he had a death wish. No one got in his face like that.

“Rivkin was an unstable agent, out of control, _you_ of all people should know that” Tony whispered, spiteful. Ziva’s heart was suddenly in her throat. Tony was referring to what had happened between her and Michael, and her father wouldn’t miss a beat on that for sure. Her fathers silence told her he knew exactly what Tony was referring to. Tony didn’t even flinch when her father suddenly grabbed him around the neck.

“You think you are smart, don’t you?” he growled down at Tony. Tony didn’t once break her fathers gaze.

“I’m smart enough to know you have cameras everywhere in this place and that if you look, you’ll see _your_ agent attacking _me_ for no reason” Tony pressed out, even with the restriction around his throat. She watched her father lean in closer.

“I don’t think it was for no reason” her father whispered, so quiet she’d almost missed it. Eli pushed Tony back and let go of his throat then. He stood up walking behind Tony’s chair, placing his hands-on Tony’s shoulder and leaning down.

Her father whispered something to Tony, so quiet that it was not caught on the microphone. She watched as Tony turned his head towards her father.

“That’s none of your fucking business” Tony returned. It was quiet but she’d heard it. Her father looked up then, at the glass. Looking at her even if he couldn’t see her.

He knew. He knew she was sleeping with Tony. She saw the anger in her father’s eyes as he squeezed Tony’s shoulders hard, to the point Tony winced. Then he was storming out of the room, slamming to door behind him.

She looked across the room when she felt eyes on her and Abbott was looking at her. Reading her. She didn’t know what he could have picked up on in that integration, as it hadn’t exactly been telling if you didn’t know all the facts. Maybe he knew more than she thought.

At that point she walked out of the room.

She was mad at Michael.

She was mad at Tony.

She was mad at her father.

She was mad at the whole world right now.

* * *

She found herself in her father’s office, she’d had enough this time. He thought she’d been angry last time she was in his office; well he had another thing coming today. He was sitting at his desk and she couldn’t remember the last time he looked this angry.

“We need to speak” she said, her voice short with him. His eyes settled on her. She was so angry with him right now; she knows this conversation wasn’t going to end well.

“That we do” he returned; his tone unpleased. He motioned her to sit but she refused. She stood her ground where she was.

“You have a lot of explaining to do” he began, his hands picking up a manilla folder.

“I have explaining to do? What about you? I _told_ you to get rid of Michael, that is on _you_ ” she snapped. She couldn’t believe he was trying to say she had been in the wrong in any way.

“Well maybe if you weren’t sleeping with that American, none of this would have happened” Eli returned, throwing the folder across the desk in front of her. She saw a few photos slip out of the folder, pictures of her leaving his room.

“Who I sleep with has nothing to do with _you_ , or _Michael_ and it definitely doesn’t give him the excuse to try and kill someone. He _deserved_ what he got” she threw back, her hands clenching into fists. She was so goddamn angry.

“So, you admit that you are sleeping with him?” her father spat.

“That is none of your business” she pointed a finger at him. This was the first time ever, that she wanted to physically hit her father. She’d never felt such violence to him. Her father laughed, full of spite. Before he was about to say whatever he had on his mind, she was on the attack.

“You know what, _fuck you_. You are meant to be my father and you do not even treat me like family. I want nothing to do with you, I will not drop everything I am doing to do your little side missions you have me do. Do not invite me to any family dinners, I am done. Consider your last daughter dead to you” she yelled at him. She knew anyone close to this office would have heard her scream at him. She didn’t care.

He wasn’t laughing anymore; she couldn’t even tell the emotion that crossed his face now.

She stormed out at that. She heard him calling her name but she just kept going. She really didn’t care about anything he had to say. He’d treated her like shit since their mother had died and she had never really acknowledged it. But now, now she had had enough. This had been the last straw. 


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not a nice chapter. Really not nice. Heavy, heavy angst. Take this as your warning. SMUT.

** Chapter Seventeen  **

She found him in his apartment and when she burst into the door, he wasn’t the only one whose eyes found her. Derek and Ezra were in his room. She didn’t know what they had been talking about but suddenly she didn’t care, she wasn’t in the mood. She was so fired up.

“Please leave” she gritted out, not looking at anyone but him. He looked nervous at her sudden anger.

Derek and Ezra didn’t say a word to her, they didn’t dare. Both however looked rather concerned about leaving Tony alone with her, but what was about to go down had nothing to do with either of them. This was about to get personal, really quick. As soon as the door closed behind them, Tony stood from the couch. She didn’t miss the way he winced in pain at the movement.

“What the fuck happened?” she gritted out. He’d promised to leave Michael alone. She was so angry at him. He’d betrayed her. Her eyes flickered to his beaten face. Her heart fighting the feeling between worry and anger all in one.

“He attacked _me_ ” Tony stated, his voice tense. He knew exactly what she was thinking. That _he’d_ attacked Michael. Tony stopped a few steps from her, he didn’t dare get any closer.

“ _Why?_ ” she demanded.

“Why do you think Ziva?” Tony threw back, like it was obvious.

She just stared at him, anger boiling in her. Could she trust Tony’s word? She thought she could trust him, but now, she was not sure.

“Don’t do that” he gritted out. He could see the way her mind was turning now.

“Do what?” she snapped. Her eyes were burning into his with absolute rage.

“Stop trusting me, don’t lock me out” Tony replied. His eyes held such despair in that moment. He felt like she was slipping from his grip. 

“Tony you killed Michael, how-“ she began but he took a step closer to her, his hand pointing accusingly at her.

“Don’t fucking do that, he tried to fucking kill me for sleeping with _you_ , I had _no choice_ ” he was wild now. She could see the way his body shook at the anger that radiated through him.

He was breathing heavy; she was breathing heavy. The air was so thick with the tension between them right now. She was holding his gaze; he was so angry that she would even think that what had happened betrayed her trust in him.

All of a sudden, his hands were on her and he was pushing her against the door and his lips were hard on hers. She almost went to fight him, went to pull back, but she couldn’t. She was so angry and her body held such tension, she _needed_ this.

She wasn’t happy with him; she was still so angry. She couldn’t promise that this was about to be any kind of nice. Her teeth bit his lip hard and her hand came around his neck. She was not being playful with him, not at all. She was all kinds of rough with him.

But he didn’t back down, he just pressed into her hard and shoved his tongue into her mouth. His hands ripped at her shirt then and some of her buttons went flying as he pulled it from her aggressively.

She was just as quick and harsh with his shirt; it didn’t last long and she was pushing the fabric off his shoulders. She heard him almost growl in her mouth when he hurt at the way she touched him and his injuries, but with his growl came sloppier kisses. The pain was pleasure right now.

His hands were digging into her hips hard when her hand gripped his neck just that little bit harder. She knew there were going to be bruises after this but she almost craved that feeling, wanting to feel that pain to try and distract her from the way her heart felt right now. Her bra didn’t last long and his hands were pulling at her belt, the sound of fabric tearing as he pulled at her pants.

Her hands weren’t gentle when she tore his pants from him either. When she gripped him hard in her hand, he was suddenly pinning her firmer against the wall. He didn’t give her simple pleasantries this time, he just pushed into her. Filling her without hesitation, all the way. She gasped at the sudden feel of him and her head dropped back when his mouth took her breast into his mouth and he let her feel his teeth.

This was rough, unforgiving, angry sex. God, she’d never felt so good.

His hips were fast, heavy. Deep. He was showing her just how angry he was too. He didn’t stop when the picture on his wall fell from its hook at the way he fucked her against the wall, it just made him give it to her more. Her nails were probably marking his neck right now, but in saying that his teeth on her and hands were marking her just as much.

He pushed one hand into her hair then, pulling at the strands. Her eyes locked with his. His eyes held such upset, _pain_. Before she could look deeper into those eyes his lips were demanding on hers. His hand holding her up against the wall lifted her leg higher then and he started hitting just the right spot.

He got harder, she gripped at his skin, she could feel her body start to shake. When she let go, she didn’t hold back her scream. She let it go. Fuck everything right now. She didn’t care. He thrust into her harder when she came for him, when she screamed for him. Then he let go too.

His body couldn’t hold them up this time and his legs gave out until he collapsed to his knees, making sure not to crush her. He gripped onto her hard, holding her against his chest as he leant his forehead on her shoulder. Her hands were holding him just as tight.

They were there for a long while, not talking, not moving. He honestly didn’t know what to say. How to feel. He felt broken inside. He gripped her tighter at that thought.

At that she finally moved, trying to get up. She was avoiding his eyes. His hand went to her wrist then, trying to hold onto her. Because yeah, it felt like she was slipping away from him now. She pulled her wrist from him, not harsh, just gently.

“Tony” she warned. Her guard was coming up, her walls. His fingers dropped from her skin and he just sat there leaning against the wall, watching her.

“Don’t do this right now” he whispered. He watched as she picked up her clothing, putting it back on. He couldn’t help but feel the more she got dressed, the thicker her defence with him was getting. He wasn’t going to stop her, clearly this is what she wanted. To leave. As she clipped her gun on her hip her eyes settled on his for the first time since she all but escaped his warmth.

“I can not do this” she said then, pointing a finger between them. The comment hit him hard, drawing all the life from him. He thought they were more than this.

“Then why the fuck did you come over here? Why the fuck did this just happen?” he was angry again. He stood, pointing an accusing finger at her this time. He watched her flinch at his words but she stood her ground.

“This should not have happened” she yelled back. Her breath was heavy. He couldn’t help but think this whole fucking thing was some kind of metaphor, he was naked bearing all for her but she was clothed, keeping him at arm’s length.

“You know Ziva, I never _ever_ fucking misused the trust you gave me, but here you are fucking stabbing me in the back” he yelled, furious. He yelled so hard his broken body was aching at the effort.

Her eyes flickered from his then, going to the floor. He watched as she went to say something, her lips opening but nothing came out. He wanted to scream at her but he didn’t think it would matter. She wouldn’t hear him right now.

“I’ve been stabbed enough today; I don’t need this bullshit from you right now” he all but whispered. He said it so quiet he didn’t think she’d hear, but when her eyes snapped to his he knew she heard.

He didn’t mean to be so harsh with her, but this _was_ bullshit. Her coming over here, fucking him and then just walking out. She was meant to be the one that made this all better. Made him feel like he’d done the right thing.

“This was never going to end well, it should have never started” she whispered back, holding his gaze. He felt his heart breaking. He knows she was somewhat right; this was never going to end well. But why, why did it have to be real?

Couldn’t he just hold her, pretend that this was going to be okay?

He felt his eyes go blurry with the tears he didn’t want to let slip. When he blinked, he felt one fall. He knows she saw it; it was the thing that had her finally slipping from his grip. She left, slamming the door behind her.

He’d killed a man, he’d been beaten, he’d had his heart broken.

This day, couldn’t get worse.

* * *

She couldn’t love him; she couldn’t give him what he needed. She shouldn’t have gone over there. Why does this have to be so hard? How did this happen? Nothing in her life ever goes right. Most of her family has been ripped from her life and her father just kicks her into the dirt. Because he doesn’t love her.

She doesn’t exactly have any example of what love looked like. She was used, abused. She was damaged goods and _he_ didn’t need anymore pain from her. So, it had to stop. Michael, her father, this whole damn situation was the last straw.

They never would have ended well; he was always going to leave. And now, after what had happened today that fate was so close now. She doesn’t want to hurt herself more than she needs to because he’s already opened something in her and it already hurts. She also doesn’t want to hurt him anymore. Because if they keep doing this, things will only get harder.

She had to do this. She had to let him go. She doesn’t want to keep falling in love with the false hope of him. Because it’s never going to work.

She hates herself for what they have done, seeing him cry as she walked out his door. She was falling apart at the feeling. She’d left him battered and bruised. This whole thing with Michael would have never of happened to him if she hadn’t of shared herself with him.

She’d brought that on him.

She didn’t want anything else to happen to him because of her. He’s not out of the woods yet. She was a dangerous person and many people were out to get her. She had to let him go before he ended up worse than he had today. 

She wasn’t meant to be loved; she wasn’t meant to love. But doing that to Tony, it was unbearable. Every goddamn second of it. This is why she shouldn’t feel anything, she shouldn’t let anyone in. She got to her room and slammed the door behind her. There was so much pain inside her right now.

It didn’t take long for someone to knock on her door. She didn’t care who it was right now, she wasn’t answering the door. That’s when her door opened and Ezra all but ran into the room.

“Ziva” his voice was soft. She knew he’d be able to see how broken she was.

“Do not go there Ezra” she warned him. She couldn’t do this, couldn’t talk about how she was feeling. She felt like her body was on fire. She was so upset, so mad. Her head was spinning. She could fucking smell his scent on her.

That’s when she lost it. She grabbed her small table, flipping it over and sending her flower vase into the wall. Smashing. She fell to her knees, leaning over the toppled table, her life feeling just as sideways. She felt him come up behind her, his hand touching her back. But he did not say anything. He was just there for her.

“It is all my fault. I cannot take any of it back” she said softly. Ezra didn’t have to ask what she was talking about, he knew. She blamed herself for Michael attacking Tony, that she cannot take back how much she let him in.

“He doesn’t blame you” Ezra replied. Tony wasn’t like that; he was a good person.

“That does not matter anymore” she was quiet, he felt her body shake under his hand. He knows that whatever happened in Tony’s room was substantial. There was so much pain in his friend right now.

“Come on” he whispered “Lets get you in the bath” he lifted his arms under her, pulling her upright. She stood with him and her arms gripped him.

Ezra runs her the bath and she doesn’t seem to care right now that she’s undressing in front of him. He’s her best friend and he’s seen everything on missions. There were no secrets.

She only gets partly undressed because she sees herself in the mirror. Her eyes were wet and she couldn’t stop looking at the marks he’d left. Bruises on her hips, angry teeth marks appearing from under her bra. She cannot wash away the feeling of him, because just like her skin, her heart was marked by him.

Her body shakes with tears in that moment. She almost wishes she’d never met him because she’d caused him pain, caused herself pain. Simply by the fact he made her feel loved. He’d never done anything wrong; he’d only given her everything.

Ezra’s hands were on her shoulders then, holding onto her.

“I let him in and all it did was cause pain” she whispered. Pain to her, pain to him. It was all pain. Nothing about them was ever going to be anything other than that, no matter how good it felt to share herself with him. Open up to him.

“That’s not true Ziva” Ezra returned. He’d seen the good it brought; it wasn’t pain. It was real. It was love.

“I am tired” she said. Tired of trying to find love, tired of disappointing everyone. Love did not belong in her life and she needed to stop looking for it. It would only ever be her.

“Here, lets get you in the bath” Ezra said, helping undress her and he all but lifted her into the tub. The last time he’d seen her like this was after Michael had ripped her life apart. Why did two people who were so right for each other, who loved each other have to be so far away from each other?

He knows they were trying to protect themselves, because it was never going to end well. Their lives were so different, they were from the opposite sides of the world. He couldn’t help but break at the sight of his friend. She deserved so much better than this. She deserved the love Tony had to give her.


	18. Chapter Eighteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a shorter chapter, had to be. But, because of that I’ll be updating within the next couple of days with the next chapter. Sorry it’ been so long in between chapters, work has been busy and this week all the serious shit possible went down so I’ve been reeling with all that.   
> This chapter kind of holds a similarity to my events at work this week.  
> As an ask by me, remember to enjoy life and do what you love. With all the tension in the world a lot of people need to remember that the air we breathe is precious and to enjoy the simple things. Spread love not hate.   
> Okay that’s enough of Danni being heartfelt and all that garbage. Enjoy!!

**Chapter Eighteen**

He was broken, bruised. And his heart ached. He hardly slept the night before. He'd drunk all the liquor in his apartment. He was tired. He wanted to go home now.

Looking at himself in the mirror that morning had scared him. His face was half purple. His left eye was red, blood discolouring the white. He'd ripped his stitches in his neck. Well, Ziva had ripped his stitches. Nail marks joined his stitches there. The cut on his ribs was angry looking and everything just hurt.

He wasn't okay. This is why he never let anyone in.

He hates the way she makes him feel, because he knows he cannot have her. And it was so fucking real with her, it felt so right. He wants to regret his choice to share himself with her but he just can't. He cannot let go of how good she'd made him feel. No matter how broken she'd left him.

He should hate her, but he can't. Because he loved her.

He knows her feelings were true and he spent all night thinking about why she was doing this. Pushing him away. Because she was trying not to hurt _them_ anymore. She was trying to do the right thing, because if it went any further the crash would be harder.

And he's so fucking mad that that's the truth.

He'd thought that none of them would be going in today, he thought he'd be on a plane and leaving. But Azriel had found a lead, a good lead. He thought he'd found their killer.

When Derek knocked on his door, he knew that everything would be put to the side right now. All this hurt, all this pain would have to take a backseat. Because they needed to put this asshole to rest. That was more important than his or her broken heart right now.

* * *

The briefing room was heavy with tension. His eyes couldn't stop trying to search hers out. But she didn't _once_ look at him. She looked just as broken as him and no one in the room had to say anything for all of them to know.

After yesterday, the cat was out of the bag.

He could feel Eli's eyes burning a fucking hole in him the whole time he sat in that briefing. He just wanted to go and smack him in the mouth. Tony knew that he and Ziva shouldn't have in the first place, but he definitely blames Michael on Eli.

Their target was Uri Felber. Ex-Mossad. Tony had been right on that one. Azriel had found him linked in the chatrooms, coming back to an I.P address that he had forgot to cover his tracks on. There was always something they slipped up on eventually, no matter how good they were.

As they went to leave the room to gear up, Abbott stopped him on the way out. When they were alone in the room he spoke.

"Can you handle this Tony?" he said. Tony almost felt offended, but then again he knew the state he looked right now so he wasn't really surprised.

"I'm not going to let my team go in there without me covering their six Sir" Tony replied. Challenging him almost. He didn't care right now, he was most likely going home after this anyway.

He was expected to be met with more fire, but he wasn't.

"Clear your mind before you get there. I need you focused" Abbott said calmly. The way he said that to Tony made him stop and take a breath. There was only one thing that was important right now and Abbott had reminded him. His job. This mission.

"Yes Sir" he returned and Abbott followed him out.

* * *

They were all gearing up in the hanger and everyone held such focus. The tension that had been in the conference room was non-existent right now.

He was tightening his vest and Ziva was handing him extra magazines. Her eyes did not falter with him, because she was focused right now. They needed to have each other's backs, broken hearts aside. That had given him the fresh air he'd needed.

He loaded his extra magazines into the pouch on his vest and took a deep breath as he actioned his pistol, holstering it. He was okay, his head was clear. He uplifted a rifle and jumped into one of the vehicles. He turned to see Ziva in the driver's seat and her eyes were finally on him.

"I've got your back" he said quietly. The first words they'd spoken since everything last night.

"I have yours too" she returned. They held a gaze for a brief moment. It felt as though they weren't breaking each other's hearts, because right now they had each other's backs and nothing, absolutely _nothing_ would get in the way of that.

She sped off then and right now it was all business. They pulled up to the address and everyone circled the area before the direction to enter sounded in his earpiece. One last look at Ziva and they shared a brief nod, they had each other covered.

As they burst into the building they raced up the stairs of this old hotel, as he leveled on the next floor his eyes settled on their target. They hadn't confirmed that this was him yet, but by the way a marine hung in front of him from ropes around his wrists, a knife in Uri's hand. Tony didn't doubt for a second this was their guy.

There was yelling and demands for him to drop his weapon. He went to stab the marine and Ziva took a shot. Uri ducked. All of a sudden Uri was returning fire and he and Ziva found themselves pinned down behind a table they'd flipped.

It wouldn't hold up long. His eyes caught hers then, both of them unsure of the next move. They radioed their position and he felt a round chip thought the table between them. Their eyes met again.

"Take him out, I'll draw his fire" Tony stated. They were about to start taking hits if they didn't do anything right now and he would rather risk himself for this to be over, for her to be okay.

He saw her about to protest, her eyes went wide at his plan. But before she could say anything he was standing, shooting towards Uri.

It had worked, he drew fire. He felt two rounds hit his vest and he was knocked back. He tried to run to his side, gaining any kind of movement and the bullets followed him. But then they stopped. His eyes looked over to see Ziva running towards Uri who had fallen at her fire.

Derek and Ezra appeared then, Derek went to go to him but Tony waved him off, telling him to get the marine and he was fine. Then something exploded and Tony's ears were ringing. Suddenly he saw flames, smoke.

Ziva's face came into his vision then, black soot covering her face and a scratch across her temple. Her hands were on him, pulling him up by his vest. He didn't miss the worry filling her eyes. Because as broken as they were, she still cared about him more than she would ever admit.

"Can you walk?" she yelled out, her ears were probably still ringing too. He nodded. He thinks so. She pulled at him and suddenly standing was fucking horrible. If he thought his body was sore before, it was way worse now. His chest was on fire and he just released how hard it was to breathe.

His arms gripped to her then, because no he couldn't support himself. He was surprised when she held his weight. He saw Derek dragging the marine he'd cut down from the ceiling and Ezra was trailing behind, limping.

They got to a door and Ziva wrestled with it, it wasn't opening. Flames were engulfing around them right now and she let his weight go then. She needed all her body weight. She leant back and kicked out at the door, once, twice. Three times. No luck. She pulled out her Glock then, firing at the hinges of the door, emptying her rounds.

Just as Derek and Ezra got to them she was kicking the door again, on the second boot the door cracked open. The flames were hot by now and they were surrounded by the heat. Derek ran out the door and Ziva and Ezra grabbed his vest by the shoulders, one side each. They just dragged him out the door.

As they got into the staircase they lifted him, supporting him on both sides. He tried to walk in that moment but his right leg wouldn't support his weight. His whole body was in deep pain. As they ran out the door and into the street they were surrounded by IDF soldiers who were rushing around trying to get a handle on the situation.

Ziva and Ezra collapsed onto the ground with him and she started tearing at his vest, opening it. Checking him for damage. He saw the fear in her eyes then and suddenly it was no longer just business.

His chest was killing him, but that didn't seem to be the problem because her hands were gripping his thigh hard then and he couldn't help but scream out in pain. He looked down and her hands were covered in his blood.

"Ezra get me a tourniquet" her voice was breaking. Ezra was at his side then too, fixing the device high and tight on his leg. He screamed out again when Ezra pulled it as tight as he could. The pain was almost worse than the injury itself.

He was picked up by multiple people then and roughly thrown in the back of a vehicle. She was climbing in the back of the truck then and the doors were closing. She crawled over to him and her bloody hand found his, gripping so hard like she was holding on for dear life.

"Stay with me" she said. Her eyes not leaving his.

"Always" he whispered back, she was the last thing he saw before he found his consciousness slip away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most of you probably have no idea what I’m on about, but tourniquets save lives and are one of the best inventions. I swear. Danni rates them.


	19. Chapter Nineteen

** Chapter Nineteen  **

Her heart was breaking. Why had he done that for her? Risked his damn life for her? He should not have done that. Now, he lay in the hospital, broken. The bullet had missed his artery, but only just. If it had hit, he wouldn’t be here. He’d be in the mortuary.

Why did the last time they spoke have to be so horrible? Why had she done that? She could have just stayed, made everything okay. But she didn’t and she had run from him trying to keep him safe. She couldn’t help but feel the pain it caused that if the bullet had been a little to the left, that would have been the last conversation they would have had.

That brings her _so_ much pain. Why do they have to have so much pain, when they so easily made each other feel hope? She cannot be who he wants her to be. She would never be safe for him, would never be the right woman for him. She was Ziva David, Mossad. He just wouldn’t understand. That’s why she had to push him away.

But after yesterday, she’d wished so much that she hadn’t. Because it hurts so much to push him away when all he does is make her feel like she belongs. Like she was special in life. He didn’t have to risk his life for her, but he had. Like she meant something to this world, to him, and he couldn’t let her fall.

He never let her fall; he’d always had her back. Always kept her trust. She wanted more than anything to sit at his side in the hospital, waiting for him to wake up. But she can’t. She doesn’t know what to say to him, doesn’t know how to make this right. She doesn’t know how to thank him for saving her life.

Ezra found her of course, where she sat with her bottle of whiskey. She was at her home in the country, the family house. She was the only one that really came here, when she needed the escape. Her father never came here anymore. She was sitting at the end of the orchard where the fields turn to open grass and you could see the hills turn into mountains. This was her spot, her getaway.

He took a quiet seat next to her and she offered him the bottle. He took it, taking a long drink.

“He’s awake” he whispered. Ezra had been the one person holding her up through this. He would always be her best friend. He reminded her a lot of Ari, how he’d never let her suffer alone. But Ari had been away on mission’s for years and she never saw him now, he was never there for her these days. She doesn’t blame Ari; she blames her father. He uses them both.

“How is he?” she found herself asking, her voice low. She blinked into the sunset in front of her. God, she hoped more than anything he was okay.

“He’s good, doctors said he will be alright” he told her, turning to her and handing her back the bottle “He’s asking about you” he added when her gaze met his. She’d broken his heart, but he wasn’t giving up on her.

That thought made her take another drink. It would be so much easier if he just gave up on her, let her slip away into the night without them needing to talk about this. But as much as she knows that’s what she _should_ do, it’s not what she _wanted_.

“I do not know what to do Ezra” she sighed. She was fighting the battle inside her. The one between opening herself up for more heartbreak and closing down and protecting herself. Protecting him. 

“It’s not easy Ziva, but I think you both deserve more than you’re allowing” Ezra stated, taking the bottle from her again and taking another drink himself.

“Where is the supposed to go Ezra? He will be returning back to America soon. It is false hope” she whispered.

“You’re just trying to protect yourself, because you know how much you’ve let him in already” he said, giving her back the bottle and turning towards her.

“I’ve never seen anyone actually care about you like he does. And it’s not meant to be sunshine and rainbows Ziva that’s what relationships are about. But he has feelings for you and maybe you should take a chance on that. Just maybe you should think about what makes you happy in life, because the only thing that is ruining your life is this job, and it’s going to get you killed before you can live your life and be happy” he stated, running a hand through his hair in frustration.

It took a lot for his words to sink in, because there was a lot in that one sentence. So much emotion was swirling in her mind right now. She cannot leave Mossad; it is all she has ever known. What more was she meant to do?

“I never planned on living this long” she whispered. And she hadn’t. She saw the pain in her friend’s eyes at that comment.

Her family was taken from her young and she joined Mossad young. She didn’t expect to live until she was old, much like many of the people in her department. She expected herself to join her family. She never planned on being loved, being happy. She only lived her life for her work, expecting it to retire her before she needed to.

“Yeah well you were always too much of a realist for my liking, maybe it’s time for a change” Ezra touched her hand then, curling his hand around hers. Her eyes met his and she squeezed his hand back.

_Maybe._

Maybe this was not who she was meant to be. If her mother and her sister were still here would they be proud of the woman she had become? Or would they be saddened at the life she had led for herself?

Her mother had always been someone to share cuddles, kisses with her. Remind her how important she was in this world and that one day she would do great things. Her mother was a lover, not a fighter. She herself had always been a fighter, not a lover.

She chuckled lightly at the thought of her mother scorning her for being so stupid. Ezra’s eyes were on hers at that.

“Thank you, Ezra,” she said, squeezing his hand again. He smiled at her.

“I just want to see you happy” he returned. His hand let hers go at another squeeze and he reached over and grabbed the bottle off her again.

“Now stop hogging this and learn to share better” he said, laughing.

She laughed with him. She couldn’t help but think he wasn’t wrong, she definitely needed to share better. Share herself with someone who truly cares and protects her without a second thought.

* * *

He’d been in hospital two days and he hadn’t seen her yet. He’d asked Ezra about her, that he wanted to see her. He was so pained by the fact he hadn’t seen her yet. It hurt more than his wounds. But he knows her and he knows she’s still struggling with everything between them so he understands. It still doesn’t make him feel better about it though.

Today he was being released from the hospital. He was free to go. He’d be on light duties for a while following this but he was all stitched up and loaded with painkillers. He also hadn’t talked to anyone back home about what had happened. He didn’t know how to go about _that_ conversation.

He would need to call Gibbs tonight.

They were having a de-brief at the Mossad base tonight and the next steps would fall into place. So, once he’d have that meeting, he’d know what was happening. Know when he was leaving.

Derek and Sarah had come to pick him up from the hospital and he was given crutches to help him keep some of the pressure off this leg for the next few days while things started to heal. He found it wasn’t so bad standing, he didn’t feel like he really needed the crutches but when he tried to give them back Sarah almost slapped him.

God he was going to miss his friends when he goes back home. He was also going to miss _her_ , so much.

They got back to the Mossad base and as they came up to the apartments there _she_ was. Leaning on the railing outside his room and her eyes were watching him. She had a soft smile on her lips and as he got close, he could see how much regret and pain gripped her gaze.

“Want us to catch you up later?” Derek said quietly, there was a smirk ghosting on his face. Of course she was here, waiting for him. Tony chuckled lightly.

“Yeah thanks. And thanks for picking me up” Tony returned and Derek just placed his hand on his shoulder.

“Anytime brother, just preferably not from the hospital next time” Derek stated, Tony laughed. When Derek and Sarah walked off back to their apartments, he worked his crutches until he got in front of her.

She held his gaze for what felt like forever, so many different emotions in her eyes. Her hand came up to his cheek then, touching him so softly. Her thumb ran across his cheek, burning the skin there with affection and he felt his heart warming at the touch. Because she wasn’t angry, she didn’t hate him. Her touch was caring.

Her body came to his then, her hand wrapping around the back of his neck and her other going around his waist. Her face was pressed into his neck, her breath tickling his skin. His hands came around her back, pulling her even closer. He pulled her so tight to him that he thought he was going to break her. 

And right now, out in the open, they were exposing so much to anyone that was around. But she wouldn’t have hugged him out here if she gave a damn about what anyone thought. Just as much as him, she didn’t give a damn what anyone thought about them anymore. 

“I am sorry” her breath was whispering against his neck, her hands gripping onto him with such force.

“I’m sorry too” he whispered right back into her curls, because they both had a lot to apologize for. None of it should have happened, but they were both scared. Scared of the feelings inside and what they meant. He’s not sure how long he held her like that, but his leg started to get sore and even though he didn’t want to let go, he didn’t want to collapse and make himself look like an idiot.

“You want to come in?” he offered. It only just occurred to him that he never had to invite her in before, she normally just came and went as she pleased. Because she never really had to ask and he never really had to offer, she was always just welcome in his space.

He felt her nod against him and her hands were slipping from his sides. The heat of her was instantly missed. He hoped that he could feel that heat again, god he missed her so much. It felt like it had been forever since he touched her. He couldn’t help the sting of guilt in his chest at the memory of the last time they had touched.

She clucked at him to make himself comfortable and he couldn’t help but smile. His Ziva was back, the one that was easy with him, relaxed. Maybe she needed those days apart from him to think about things, settle her mind. He didn’t realise how much he’d needed that space too until right now. Because he’d thought about a lot.

He settled himself on his bed while he watched her make them some tea. He’d never been a big tea drinker until he’d met her, she’s started to grow on him already. And really, that’s just more scary thoughts to add to the already big list when it comes to how he feels about her.

He couldn’t help but smile when she walked over to him and handed him the tea before grabbing some pillows and propping his leg up. He wonders if she realizes that’s she’s a little domestic. She picks up her own tea and settles herself down by his hip, so she’s facing him.

One hand is holding her mug and the other came to rest on his thigh. The touch was soft, like she was claiming him. Her eyes settled on his then.

“Was this ever going to have a future?” she stated, her words soft and quiet. Because they both know they are from opposite worlds. He brought his free hand to cover hers, holding onto her.

“I tried not to think about where this was going” he replied. Thinking about it always was upsetting, never good. A small sad smile graced her lips then.

“Me too” she replied. Because much like him, she never wanted to think about where this was going, it was too hard.

“I just wanted to live in the moment with you” Tony told her, gripping her hand a little tighter “Because you always made me feel happy when you were around” he admitted. This was the first time he’d started to admit how she felt to him. It wasn’t much but it felt like a heavy weight was being lifted off his shoulders.

Her eyes were softening, her walls were down for him again. He found that interesting because while he thought about it the last few days, he thought a confession of feelings would make her put her walls up, not open more for him.

“It is always scary how comfortable you make me feel” she was the one admitting this time. It had been hard for her, because her eyes dropped from his at the weight of her own words.

“It scares me too” he said, bringing his hand to her jaw then, lifting her gaze back to his. Her eyes were wet.

“Tony” his name was soft on her lips “I do not know what to do, I do not want to us to fight. It hurts, but where is this supposed to go?” she was being rational. She remembers what Ezra said but she cannot just make such a life changing decision at the drop of a hat. Her whole life was here.

She tried to drop her gaze from his again, because it hurts admitting these things.

“Hey” he said quietly, his hand weaving into her curls “How about we just enjoy this while we can, when I fly back home, I want to have no regrets about any time wasted when I could have been enjoying your company” he explained. He still didn’t know what to do. Yes, this was going to hurt regardless when he left so he wanted to make the most of her before that point.

Her eyes were sad, but he knew she realized he was right when she nodded into his palm. She placed her tea on his bedside table then, because she didn’t really want it. She moved and lay herself down on his bed next to him.

Her head leant on his good thigh and she all but clung to the side of him. He stroked his hand into her hair, slowly running his fingers back and forth. He watched her close her eyes at the touch. They both know this was still going to break their hearts, but why waste the time they had left when they could still have that feeling? That feeling of love.


	20. Chapter Twenty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Always appreciate the kudos and comments! Love you guys, Danni.

** Chapter Twenty **

Tony hobbled into the meeting and right next to him was Ziva. The whole gang was there, Derek, Sarah, Ezra, Azriel. All of their faces happy to see him. He took a seat and not long after that Abbott came into the room. And yeah, Tony didn’t miss the fact Eli wasn’t present. He didn’t mind.

The first thing Abbott did was ask how he was doing. Tony made some kind of joke about still being able to walk. The room shared a laugh at that.

They discussed the case and the things that needed to be tidied up before they were all disbanded. Tony couldn’t help but feel his heart race when Abbott started talking about the flight home. One week. He had _one week_ before he would be flying home. One week to make the most of _her._

He couldn’t help it when his eyes flickered to hers. Caught the way she’d looked at him too. With everything set and planned they were released to the office. They all went up and started writing up reports, filing paperwork, evidence. They had been up there a couple hours. Sharing jokes, laughs.

It felt good, like it had before everything had gone downhill. He caught Ziva’s gaze on multiple occasions, when he became distracted from his work and he smiled at her. She smiled back every time. Yes, things felt good. They started packing up for the evening when Ziva spoke to the room.

“I do believe we will have this tidied up by tomorrow. After that I would like to invite you all to my home in the country for a few days. I think it would be nice for us all to spend some time before you leave. This is a team I am proud to have had the company of” she said. He could tell she had been nervous. Because this was Ziva letting people in, getting close. And not just with him.

The fact she was welcoming them to her home, was even more surprising. Maybe he had broken a few more of her walls than he’d thought. He smiled.

“That sounds like a really nice idea Ziva, thank you” Sarah spoke up, looking happy. He knows they were all going to miss this team. They’d all shared a lot.

“I’ll make sure to bring the Arak” Azriel spoke up. Tony couldn’t help but laugh at that comment, they all needed to let loose a little after the last week.

* * *

He’d gone back to his apartment and he didn’t miss the way she didn’t follow. He wondered if she just needed a little time still. But when his pocket vibrated as he negotiated his crutches to his room, he smiled as he looked down at the screen.

Except for the first night they’d slept together when he messaged her, they haven’t texted or called. It felt kind of nice.

_Have time with your family back home. Save room for me in that bed – Z_

He smiled at the screen. He hadn’t even mentioned that he wanted to call back home, it was almost like he was an open book to her. That put a tingle in his chest.

_There’s always room in my bed for you – T_

Because there was. It was that simple. He rested his crutches on the side of his bed and sat himself down, dialing the first person on his list. Gibbs.

“Gibbs” was the grunt across the line. It didn’t sound like he had woken his boss this time, not that he’d checked the time difference. Good. Starting with a less grumpy Gibbs was needed for this phone call.

“Hey boss” his voice was quiet, thinking about what he was going to say.

“DiNozzo” he replied. Of course, Gibbs was leaving the conversation start in his court, he’d initiated the call after all. He was hoping Gibbs was just going to ask something or say something, because he was still trying to think about how to word this.

“I’ll be home in just over a week” he started. That was the easy part.

“That was sooner than expected” was all he said. He could hear the questioning in his bosses’ tone though. Because he was due home many months before expected.

“Yeah, well. We had a few bumps in the road, but the case is closed” he told him. Still beating around the bush about how injured he’d gotten himself in the last few days. He scratched the back of his head, feeling Gibbs’ stare over the phone.

“Bumps in the road DiNozzo?” Gibbs said, his voice told him that he better spit it out and not make Gibbs force it out of him.

“I’m a little roughed up, but nothing I can’t handle” Tony explained. He could feel the moment when the head slap would have come. Thank god he wasn’t within striking distance. “Couple knife wounds, bullet to the thigh. I’m fine, docs said I’m all good boss nothing to worry about” Tony furthered, getting it all out.

He heard the huff of the other man.

“Tony, I thought I told you to look after yourself over there dammit” Gibbs grumbled, but his tone was softer. Tony still felt another slap that would have come at that moment if Gibbs could reach him.

“I know boss, sorry boss” Tony absently rubbed his crown, Gibbs’ usual target area.

“Rule six DiNozzo” was another grumble.

“Right boss” he replied. There was a slight silence before Gibbs spoke up again.

“I want you walking off that plane next week, not in a goddamn wooden box. No more shenanigans. I mean it DiNozzo” he ordered. He agreed with his boss before the phone call ended after a couple goodbyes.

He definitely wasn’t going to get into any more trouble if he could help it, but he’s sure there will be a few shenanigans in the next week. Especially if Arak is involved. But those are all ones that Gibbs really doesn’t need to know about.

He called Abby, Kate, Tim. Catching up and letting them know he was coming home soon. They were all ecstatic. He came up with some random excuse to why he was coming home early. He decided to leave out his war stories for today, he didn’t want any upset people after he’d heard their excitement at his early return. Even Timmy had a smile in his voice. Maybe his presence was missed after all.

He sent Ziva a message just before heading to the shower.

_Tea? – T_

_You read my mind – Z_

He smiled at the message and put the kettle on before making his way to the shower. He had to take his bandages off so he could clean himself and put fresh ones on. It took longer than expected. And it was far more difficult than he thought.

He tied his towel around his waist and hobbled out to the bedroom. He had to leave the crutches in the bathroom so he could carry the fresh medical things the doctors had given him to the room. His leg handled it, but it wasn’t easy. Just as he stepped out into his bedroom the ninja herself was rushing over to him, hands going around his waist.

“Whoa cowboy, slow down” she said softly, helping him to the bed and taking the medical supplies from his hands. He sat on the edge of the bed and his eyes settled on hers.

“Cowboy?” he smirked. She shrugged, laughing.

“You look as though you have been taken out by one of those wildebeests those men with the hats wrangle, that is a cowboy yes?” she explained. He laughed at that. Hard. Sometimes he wondered what exactly went through her head to come up with things like that.

Her hands were placing the med supplies next to him.

“Let me help” she stated, going over his injuries for the first time. Her hands were gentle, her eyes concerned. She pulled out a disinfectant and started on his face, lightly dabbing his stitched eyebrow. Four stitches there. Her hands were so tender with him. Her fingertips traced the angry black and purple that surrounded his eye, peppered his jaw.

He was sitting on the edge of the bed and she was kneeling in between his legs. He couldn’t help himself when his hands went to her waist, holding her there. Not wanting to let her go. God, he never wanted to let her go. She’d felt the way his hands gripped her a little tighter, because her eyes settled on his.

She leant in then, her lips brushing his softly.

“I am sorry Tony” she whispered against his lips. One of his hands weaved into her hair at that, leaning his forehead against hers.

“What are you sorry for Ziva?” he asked.

“This was all my fault, Michael” she stated and he was shaking his head against her.

“Stop that, it was not your fault. I don’t care what you say. He was unstable, that was it. Him attacking me was not your fault” he explained to her. He saw that she went to protest at his words but he just pressed his lips to hers, stopping the words before they began.

“I don’t want to hear anything about it, I just want you and me, here. The body heals” he whispered to her. But will his heart? His mind whispered to him. Will his heart heal from the journey of her? Maybe not. But that’s something he will live with once she’s no longer in his hands. For now, he was just going to enjoy her. Cherish her.

She nodded softly at him. He knows she of all people know just how the body heals. He’s sure she’s been in worse situations than he ever has. He doesn’t really want to think about it too much.

She distracts him when she goes back to her task, his personal nurse. Her hands trace down to his neck, she cleans this. It doesn’t go missed by him how warm her hands are at the touch. It was like they spread a fire across his skin. Her hands soothed down his bare chest. She leant in, her lips pressing a feather light kiss to the two bruises on his chest. The bruises that marked the fact he’d been shot in the chest and if it hadn’t of been for his armour, he wouldn’t be here to feel her touch.

Her breath tickled his skin and his hands at her waist tightened again. She didn’t meet his eyes this time though, she kept up her examination of him. Her fingers traced down to his ribs where a large cut drew across the skin there. The antiseptic was back out and pressing lightly to him. He winced at the feeling.

For a tough assassin, she’s very gentle with him. It just adds to his suspicion that deep down she’s a gentle lover, not a fighter. Its not who she really is no matter the exterior that she shows the world. She places a new dressing over his ribs, keeping the stitched skin safe.

Her hands go to his arm then and she repeats the process with the cut on his wrist. He never had anyone give him this much care before. Look after him quite like this. Not since his mother passed away when he was a young boy. And she did it just because she wanted to. There was no deal or payment. She was just taking care of him like there was nothing else in this world she’d rather be doing.

She makes his heart ache for her so much.

Her hands go to the end of his towel then, pulling it open. He was bare to her then but this wasn’t about sex for once and he had to hold his breath. Because it wasn’t about sex and that’s what this had always been about. _Just sex._

Her fingers were gentle as her eyes took in the damage to his thigh. The skin was angry purple, he had the bullet wound which had been stitched. He also had some damaged tissue around the area which had more stitching. He’d honestly been so lucky not to come out worse.

“Does this make you more attracted to me? Because I’ve been told a rumour chicks dig scars” he joked, trying to lighten the mood. Because he wasn’t sure about her but his heart was straining at her touch, her care. Her love.

“Tony” she all but whispered his name. Her gaze settling on his again. He wasn’t sure what it was he saw there, but her eyes were wet. “You should not have put yourself at risk like that” she continued. He expected this conversation to come out at some point, but he wasn’t sure she was going to like his reply. Because he’d thought about her asking this, challenging his decisions and he wasn’t going to lie in his answer.

“If I hadn’t, we’d probably both be hobbling around. Or worse. I had to do something” _for you._ He wanted to add. But he couldn’t bring himself to. He would have done the same for anyone, but he felt the result if he hadn’t in this case would have been worse. He couldn’t see her hurt, that would destroy him. And maybe that’s what he had seen in her gaze before, she was breaking at seeing him hurt like this. _For her._

“No more scars please” she said, smiling softly at him and bring a hand to the side of his cheek. She didn’t want anymore. No thanks. It’s definitely what he saw in her eyes right now. She didn’t like seeing him hurt like this. Because she did care, so much.

“That goes for you too” he replied, leaning forward and touching his forehead to hers. Leaning into her as much as possible. He knows she’s not one to back down, that bruises and scars were common for her. But he didn’t like it. He didn’t like her being the punching bag she lets herself be sometimes. Seeing her the other week with all those bruises, it had put fire in his bones. He hated seeing her hurt.

That’s when she nodded against him before kissing him softly. Because not that he knew it, but she’d made a promise to herself to not be her fathers loyal attack dog anymore. Because she’d had enough and didn’t want to be used anymore. Because Tony had taught her that she deserved better and she was starting to truly believe that.

She leant back and he watched as she leant down, placing a kiss above his knee, just below his wound. She was breaking his heart with her care and he wondered if she knew just how much she was. She cleaned his leg, bandaging it too. He was well looked after tonight that’s for sure.

“Now, how about that tea?” she leant back, smiling softly at him. He brought his hand up to her cheek, running his thumb across her cheek. Marking her with his tenderness just like she’d marked him with her gentle touches.

“I would like that” he replied. They stayed like that for a minute just staring into each other’s eyes. He knew. She knew. But they wouldn’t talk about it. They wouldn’t talk about how much they wanted this because it wasn’t inevitable. And it wasn’t fair on their hearts to talk about it.

He settled for pressing his lips to hers, drinking every last breath of her that he could. Because his heart was struggling tonight. As much as he tried to avoid it, he was getting feelings for this woman that weren’t going to fade away overnight.


	21. Chapter Twenty-One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the support and kind words I’ve been getting on this story at the moment. It really does mean a lot.

** Chapter Twenty-One **

They’d spent the next day finishing up all the loose ends in the office and finally that was all over. Tony couldn’t wait for the business to finish; the sooner it did the sooner he could be spending non-work-related time with Ziva and the team. Because they finished up yesterday, it meant they had five whole days until they flew out. And Tony intended to make the most of those days as best as he could.

As they all drove out to Ziva’s house, he tried as hard as he could not to think about what would be happening after the fifth day. He made a mental promise to himself not to think about it these next few days. He deserves to let go, have fun. To not think about how much his heart is going to break.

He was currently in the front of Ziva’s personal car. Her car. He was slightly surprised about what she drove. He half expected some big rig wagon, a tank of a car. However, she drove a sleek white sedan. Tidy, almost fancy. He liked that he’d guessed wrong. It actually was so her the more he thought about what she was really like behind her walls.

Derek and Sarah were in the backseat, Ezra and Azriel were going to do a shopping run and meet them out there. They’d driven maybe twenty minutes when they pulled off the main road onto a long driveway. They drove between fruit trees, the morning sun flickering in behind the tall plants.

The driveway opened up into a loop with an old stone building. It was larger than he expected. For a moment he couldn’t believe this was her home. It was absolutely beautiful. You could tell it was old but had been restructured over the years to embrace modern times.

“Wow Ziva this place is beautiful” Sarah stated in awe from the back.

“It has been with my family for as long as I can remember. I am the only one who really comes here” Ziva replied, parking the car by the front door. The front door was a large set of old wooden doors, totally unnecessary in size but absolutely stunning.

They started getting out of the vehicle and Derek and Sarah grabbed their bags from the back, Ziva grabbed his. He was a little better on his leg, but crutches were still necessary. He was hoping to be off them before he left. Ziva had clucked her tongue at him and growled when he tried to leave them behind this morning. It had actually been a little cute when she’d done that.

“So, no one else comes out here?” Derek stated in amazement as he looked at the building.

“My brother Ari will come out on occasion, but he is always out of town” Ziva explained as she unlocked the front door, pushing the large wood open. Inside was much the same as the outside, old bones with new furnishing. The stone and wood in the home was prominent, with modern furniture complimenting the history. As they walked in there was a large lounge room which merged into a dinning.

“I have never seen anything so beautiful” Sarah was wide eyed and in heaven. Tony smiled. This really had been a good idea, he’s glad Ziva had invited them. He thinks this is just the recovery they’d all needed.

Ziva gave them a brief tour. A grand kitchen came off the dining room. A hallway from the entrance lead down to multiple bedrooms. Each of them claiming one. There were a handful of bathrooms. Some more siting rooms, office. This place was a palace. The lounge led out onto an area in the backyard.

It was a large stoned area with outdoor seating. Wood fire stove, looking out into the masses of orchards. Tony really couldn’t believe this place. Well he could, her father was the director of Mossad so obviously the man had money. But her family must have always been high in something for a family home to be like this.

There had been a little more of the house where Ziva hadn’t really taken the tour. He guessed that’s most likely where her bedroom was. Because he noticed all the rooms they had seen were standard, like a guest room. He would guess that her room is probably very private to her.

Not long after their tour Ezra and Azriel had arrived. Bringing with them large amounts of food for Ziva’s pantry and fridge, and a lot of alcohol. Tony suddenly wanted to wrap himself up in this little bubble of friends and never leave. He felt like he’d known them all for years.

He was coming back from the bathroom and could see Ezra, Azriel, Sarah and Derek outside on the outdoor couches. He could hear the sound of a knife chopping from the kitchen so he floated in that direction.

He thought about sneaking up on her but he realised as soon as he entered the kitchen that his crutches took away all his stealth. Ziva had turned to face him as soon as he appeared. She was smiling at him in a way that pulled his heart strings. How does she do that? She turned back to her chopping and spoke up.

“I have banned everyone from helping me in the kitchen, you are no exception to that rule. You are my guests” she stated. That explained why she was the only one in here. He had wondered.

“But I heard this is where all the treats are” he replied, coming up behind her and leaning his crutches against the bench to his side so he could have both hands free. He brought his hands to the side of her hips, leaning his body into the back of hers. “And I’m not talking about the food” he whispered into her curls. Her chopping had been consistent until that point. 

They hadn’t had sex since he’d been shot and he was starting to desperately want her touch. He knows she was trying to let him heal, but he’d healed enough. He wanted her. She wasn’t going to escape him tonight.

He heard the knife in her hand being placed on the bench and she turned in his hands, her lips almost brushing against his. “No treats before dinner” she remarked, smirking at him. Because she wanted him just as much. He loved how playful she was with him, it felt like that feeling with her had been missing for too long. There had been too much fighting in the last couple of weeks.

“Not even a little?” he charmed, leaning in as he brought her lower lip between his teeth. Gently nibbling at that delicious mouth of hers. He knows once his lips are on hers, she won’t resist him and she doesn’t. Her lips kiss him back and her hands are gripping around his shirt. He couldn’t think of anything better than the kiss of this woman.

His hands soothed down her sides, coming to rest on those delicious hips of hers and he pulls her closer to him so they are pressed head to toe. God, he misses her. He’s never been this addicted to anyone in his life. But there had always been something different about her, from the moment they met.

He presses his tongue into her mouth then, really showing her just how much he craved her. She doesn’t protest, the soft moan that slips from her lips is anything but that. After short time, her hand at his chest is pressing him back lightly.

“Tony” she smiled up at him, her eyes sparkling “I must finish making these snacks, as much as I could happily kiss you here all day” she told him and he chuckled. Her admitting to want to kiss him all day long was something. And the way her eyes looked up at him, brought a softness to his heart. This woman had honestly cast a love spell on him. 

“I guess you did give me a treat, but it’ll only make me hungrier later” he smirked down at her, giving her another brief kiss just so she knows how serious he is. That bubbly giggle of hers slipped from her lips at that. Other than her moaning his name as she climaxes, her giggle had to be his favourite sound.

“If you behave yourself” she clucked at him, sending a wink before turning back around and getting back to her task at hand. He gathered his crutches back in his hands now that she had vacated his grip.

“You sure you don’t want a hand in here?” he offered, switching away from his lustful teasing to actually being helpful.

“No, honestly I am okay. You go have a drink with the others” she said, turning a smile at him. Her smile was honest, unguarded. Right in this minute they were miles away from the dark place they had been in last week. This was nice, this was _them_. Without the sad thoughts, without the reality. This was them relaxing and just being themselves together. It gripped his heart tighter at how good it felt like this.

He went to protest a little, because he wanted to help and didn’t want to leave it all to her alone. However, she saw this and clucked her tongue at him again. He loved when she did that, made that little sound that told him she was in charge and to do as he was told. It always made him smile.

“Okay, but only because you insist” he said, but before he left the kitchen, he made sure to lean over her shoulder and place a soft kiss to the side of her neck. Showing her that he’d be waiting and he missed her already.

He hobbled his way outside and sat himself on the couch with the others, grabbing a beer. He couldn’t believe how relaxed he was. This place, her family home with all his friends and his lover, things couldn’t be more perfect. He tried not to think about what it’s going to be like when they leave, when he leaves her. Because they’d promised each other they would just live in the moment, so there weren’t any regrets when he did leave.

* * *

Later, after they’d eaten the delicious array of food Ziva had prepared them, the outdoor fire had been lit and they were all laughing around it, sharing the good times. It reminded Tony of the time they had all gone to the bar together. This team just got along so well. The alcohol had absolutely made things even merrier.

At one point he tried to get up and go get another beer without his crutches and Ziva at his side had picked up on that quick. Her hand was grabbing his and when she pulled, he fell back onto the couch, the side of his body touching the length of hers. They hadn’t sat more than an inch from each other all night, they were between their friends and they didn’t hide what was between them.

“You will be taking those crutches if you think you are going anywhere” she whispered to him, leaning over him. Her breath was hot on his neck. She wasn’t mad, her face held amusement more than anything. But he also knew she was being serious too. He brought his hand up behind her on the couch and it made her all that bit closer to him when he turned towards her.

“What if I don’t need them?” he challenged, because he loved when they bantered like this. They’d both had a bit to drink and he was high on the feeling of the alcohol and simply her. He knows the others are probably watching them, but he didn’t care. It only amused him more to see how far he could push her with their teasing in front of the others. He wondered if she’d kiss him in front of them?

Because damn, he wanted those lips in his. The moment in her kitchen had been far too long ago.

“If you want that leg of yours to recover enough for sex, you best take those crutches with you” she purred to him. She’d leant closer to him when she’d said it and her lips were so close now. She was half leaning across him; he could feel her right breast pressing against his chest. Goddamn she was close. It didn’t seem like it bothered her either that their friends were in eye shot. After all, they were all friends. There was nothing to hide now.

“Well, when you put it that way sweetheart” he found himself saying, winking at her. He saw the way her eyes twinkled at the endearment he gave her, her lips pulling into a smile. She liked that. As tough and badass as Ziva David was, she was a big softy at heart. He saw right through her.

He was about to stand from the couch again when her hand gripped his shirt, pulling him back down again and her lips pressed to his. Briefly, but oh so delicious. Yes, she would kiss him in front of the others it seems. Interesting.

“Good boy” she all but whispered against his lips, winking at him in return this time. She let his shirt go with a small chuckle as she watched him attempt to compose himself as he stood up and grabbed his crutches this time, escaping to the kitchen for more beers.

Everyone else had been doing their own thing, pretending like they all hadn’t just seen that. He had to chuckle and shake his head as he made his way up to the house. Ziva, she just knew how to please him and make him happy without a second thought. Every little thing she did had his heart swelling with love. The fact she’d been open in front of their friends like that, had meant even more. It meant she was comfortable with showing them she cared about him, that she desired him. Maybe even liked him just a little bit.

He wanted this time at her family farm to never end. He was happy. Content.

When he got to the fridge and started fishing in there for some more beer, Derek was joining him in the search for another drink. The smirk on Derek’s face told Tony that beer wasn’t the only thing that had him following Tony to the kitchen.

“Go on, get it out” Tony laughed, reaching for a couple more beers and placing them on the bench. Derek leant against that bench and crossed his arms, his smirk getting bigger.

“Oh nothing, I just figured you could use a hand with those beers” he said and Tony laughed at him some more.

“That smirk on your face has nothing to do with beers Derek” Tony said, grabbing a few more beers out. Now that Derek was here, he could manage a few more being carried back to the table.

“True” Derek admitted and Tony waited for the next comment “It’s nice to see you two like that” Derek added, his words a lot softer and less jovial than Tony had expected. Tony placed another beer on the bench and looked at the man in front of him. Someone who he’d grown to see as a very good friend was looking at him with a gentle, happy smile. Tony smiled back. Derek had seen the Ziva, the bond that had stolen Tony’s heart.

“You know, when I first met you, I wondered what it was like to feel how you did about your wife. But I think I know now” Tony said, suddenly finding himself letting more out than expected. He’d thought about throwing a joke Derek’s way, but for some reason the truth came out instead.

Derek put his hand on Tony’s shoulder then, appreciating the fact he hadn’t just thrown him a joke about it.

“You might think it can’t work because of where you two are, but don’t let her go. You only find a love like that once Tony” Derek said. Tony took those words hard. He doesn’t want to let her go. Tony hadn’t said the love word aloud yet, but clearly Derek sees it for what it is.

“I don’t want to let her go for sure, but it all seems so against us” Tony replied, feeling heavy all of a sudden.

“You know, I’ve seen it before on deployments where people worlds apart come together. I’m sure you two will make it work. She’s not going to let you go either by the looks of it. Don’t think about it, just make sure you put the effort in. It won’t be easy, but the ones worth it never are” Derek explained. Tony’s sure he’s seen a lot being a Seal. Travelling the world and seeing people fall in love when everything was against them. Tony smiled at Derek. As much as he didn’t want to think about how much it wasn’t going to work out, Derek was giving him hope that maybe, just maybe it could work.

It wouldn’t be easy and surely there’d be a lot of long distance involved, but she was worth that. The feeling she gives him, how easy it was with her. That was something he’d do anything for. If he’s willing to try, maybe she would too. He’d dwelled so much on how it wouldn’t work in the usual relationship sense, he never really thought about the fact it didn’t have to be a normal relationship. It could be whatever their unique love and situation needed it to be.

“Thanks Derek, I never really thought of it like that” he said. Because he hadn’t. Maybe Derek had seen that, needed to tell him it didn’t have to be normal. It could just be _them_ , as long as they were happy.

“Anytime brother” he said, giving his shoulder another squeeze “And if you’re ever in need of an emergency flight over here, I know a few people who owe me favours” Derek added, giving Tony a wink. Tony laughed. Yeah, he was going to miss this team, his new friends. He knows Derek lives in the same state as him and he is suddenly glad for that. He was lucky to have Derek as a friend.

“I wonder how Faith and Ziva would get along” Tony said out of the blue, thinking of Derek’s wife and Ziva meeting one day. Suddenly it felt like things could be possible between them.

“They would absolutely gang up on us and we’d both be hopeless” Derek said, barking out a laugh. Tony laughed too. It might have sounded like a horrible time, but Tony was suddenly looking forward to that day. Because if that day came, it meant things did work and could work between him and Ziva.

There’s nothing he wanted more.


	22. Chapter Twenty-Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, bad news. Danni has sprained her shoulder joint ligaments so it has made typing on the computer rather difficult. I will be writing when I can but it might be coming a bit slower until my injury gets a bit better. Sorry guys.   
> Anyways, good news here is the next chapter.   
> Enjoy! Thank you to everyone that has been reviewing and showing their appreciation for this story.

** Chapter Twenty-Two **

Everyone had slowly disappeared to their rooms throughout the night. He’d just gone to the bathroom and when he opened the door Ziva was standing across the hall from him, leaning against he wall and eyeing him up like a snack. He chuckled. She’d had a good time and a lot to drink tonight and so had he.

“I do believe you behaved yourself tonight Tony” she said, licking her lips and pushing off the wall.

“Oh yeah?” he returned and she was stepping into his space. She angled her chin up to him and smiled, making a humming noise deep in her throat. He loved her like this, so carefree. All night with their friends she had been the open Ziva, the one he always saw behind closed doors. She wasn’t the assassin with the hard shell, she was just a girl in love and happy. Maybe just a little drunk too, but he wasn’t complaining.

“That deserves a reward, yes?” she said. Her hands were going up to his chest and she them down his chest to his belt where she dipped her fingers around the leather and pulled him closer to her. Oh yes, drunk, happy Ziva was a horny Ziva. He chuckled softly.

“What reward might that be?” he questioned, even if he knew exactly where her mind was at right now. Her eyes were twinkling up at him and that beautiful brown of her eyes had almost gone midnight. He knows that look well by now.

“Well, I might allow you into _my_ bedroom for the night” she pressed her lips to his softly, pulling back before she allowed him to kiss her back. Her bedroom? He had yet to see. She had kept it private. He was half expecting them to stay in one of the guestrooms where he’d claimed, he wasn’t sure if she was going to let him into her room. If’s it been her room since she was young, there would surely be a lot of personal things in there.

But maybe she was fine with him being in that room, because she didn’t care what he saw. She was open to him and she didn’t want to hide any part of her. She winked at him then and trailed off towards the part of the house he hadn’t seen yet, none of them had. He quickly made his crutches move and plodded along behind her.

He noticed that this part of the house was on the other side from the guestrooms and with her vocal reaction to sex in mind, he was glad. As much as he didn’t mind their friends seeing them kiss, hearing the screams of Ziva’s orgasm was different. That was a lot more private. Not that he doesn’t think Derek being his neighbour in the apartments hadn’t heard something before, but the man surely hadn’t brought it up.

He followed her to a room at the very end of a corridor, to the right. She turned and smiled at him as she walked into the soft light coming from the room. _Ziva’s room._

He came to a stop at the entrance and took it all in. Ziva was smiling at him a little shyly now and he suddenly wondered if she’d ever brought anyone into this room before. The look on her face told him probably not. A large bed was against the wall to his right, facing the large French doors that took up the majority of her wall on the outside of the house. White linin covered her bed, multiple plush looking pillows covered at least half the bed.

There was a large Persian rug on her wooden flooring, the rustic red, blues and browns giving the plain room colour. She had a few pillows and a throw on her bed, matching those colours of the rug. There were a handful of small lamps around the room, giving the place some ambiance. Many plants around the bedroom, giving the room life. He wondered how much of a green thumb this woman was, as they were all definitely real plants. There was also a bathroom to the side of the room that he could see.

Very light oak wood furniture was around the room, her dresser, a small desk, bedside tables. As he stepped into the room, he noticed more details. Small candles and little personal items littered her dresser and desk. His eyes caught the small ordainments on her dresser, all of which looked unique and handmade.

“In my travels, I have always made a habit of collecting something from a local market if I have had the time” she explained when his fingers touched a small hand sown camel. They were all beautiful.

“These are wonderful Ziva” he said, looking at them all. They all looked so unique and he would bet they all held such different stories behind them. Maybe one day he will ask about those stories. He noticed she had two photos on her dresser. One of them he recognised the people, her, Azriel and Ezra. They were all in IDF uniforms and young. Maybe eighteen. He suddenly realized they have known each other a lot longer than he thought.

“Those two boys, have been very good friends for a long time” she said quietly. When he looked up at her he realised she was moving further away from the sultry mood she had been in before entering her room to a very honest and open one. He wouldn’t have it any other way. He leant his crutches against her dresser so he could place a hand to the small of her back, giving her that comfort her eyes told him she was needing.

“I am glad you have such good people by your side Ziva” he returned, holding her gaze. She smiled softly at him and he didn’t miss the way her eyes were glazing over with tears.

“Me too” she said, turning back to the dresser. He looked at the other photo on the dresser and her hands were picking up the small frame and stepping into him some more, so she all but rested into his side. He pulled his arm around her tighter, assuring her that he had her.

She turned the picture towards him and he recognized the young Ziva and Ari from the photo she had shown him before. There was also an older woman and a younger girl, both holding the curls and smiles that Ziva had. The woman, Ziva was a splitting image of her. Mom and Sister.

“This was the last time we had a photo together” Ziva said softly. He watched the way she traced her finger along the frame. This photo was clearly very precious to her. He remembered when she’d told him that her mother and sister had been killed. In the photo they were all smiling and laughing.

“Things were very different before they passed away” she whispered as she stared at the photo. “You know, I used to dream of being a professional dancer. My mother loved dancing. She was a woman all about love and anything to do with love. Her and Eli were very different in that way” she went on. Tony stroked his hand down her side, understanding that her letting him in on this information was not easily done. It was a privilege.

“Sounds like you got a lot of who you are from your mother then” Tony said and at his words Ziva’s eyes met him in confusion. Tears were close to spilling from her eyes. He suddenly realized that Ziva had always thought of herself like her father, not her loving mother. She was oh so wrong.

“You are nothing like your father Ziva. Yes, you might be in the same profession as him but what you do for him, you do out of love. You might have a tough exterior, but what’s in here” he said, placing his other hand over her heart “Is only love. You might not see it, but you’re not a fighter Ziva, you are most definitely a lover. I think if your mother was here today, she would agree with me” he said. That’s when the tears she had been holding back slipped, streaking along her cheeks.

“I do not think my mother would be pleased with the woman I have become” she whispered, placing the photo back down on the dresser. He gathered her hands in his then, holding them tight.

“I think your mother would be beyond pleased with the beautiful woman you have become. Its not about the bad things you think you’ve done, think about what you’ve done and how many lives you have saved or protected because you took some evil out of the world. If you hadn’t of done some of the things you have, think about how many more lives would have been ruined if you hadn’t” he explained. He didn’t know in detail what she did before meeting him, but he doesn’t think he’s wrong in his explanation. The people she dealt with, the blood she has split, it was never blood of someone who hadn’t brought darkness to this world. Of that he’s sure.

He brought his hand up to wipe away the tear stains on her cheeks. Her eyes were holding his, in shock, in wonder. _In love_. Then her arms were around him tight, her hands fisting into his shirt as she held onto him for dear life. He felt a sob tremble through her body as he wrapped his own arms around her. He would not let her fall.

Her face was buried into his neck and he could feel her tears on his skin. He suddenly realised that no one had ever explained her worth, that she was a good person. If he had to tell her that every day for the rest of his life he would. Because she was a good damn person. And she was so full of love. If anyone felt that it was him.

He didn’t expect when he saw her room it would get this emotional, but clearly, she’d never let anyone in this much. The fact she was letting him in like this, was big. Maybe she did care about him the same way he did. Maybe she would be willing to make them work, as much as they could. He knows that’s not a conversation for tonight. Tonight, he would be there for her. Like she’d always been there for him.

Sure, they’d had a few ups and downs but he knows the push and pull was only because they were both scared at the way they made each other feel. It scared him to think about how serious he was with this woman. He never thought about the future, only the moment. But with her he had always been thinking about the what ifs of the future. It was something she just brought out in him. He knows that’s because she was a lover, and she brought out the lover in him too.

He pulled her tighter to him then, holding onto her like nothing else in this world mattered as much as she did. He knows he loves this woman.

After what seemed like forever she was pulling back slightly, looking up at him with soft eyes.

“You know Tony, you have taught me more about myself since I met you than I ever have on my own in ten years” she admitted quietly. A sad smile crept onto her face then. The smile held many things, appreciation, adoration. Love. He brought a hand up to the side of her face then, brushing her unruly curls behind her ear.

“You might not realise it sweetheart, but you’ve made me realise a lot of things about myself too” he smiled down at her. Because she had. Since Wendy, he never thought he’d want to love again, try settle down. But since meeting Ziva, he realised he was kidding himself. He wanted that more than anything. He never noticed how lonely he was until he met this woman in his arms.

Spending nights alone in his apartment back in DC had seemed nice, but since he started sharing his nights here in Israel with Ziva, he knows he doesn’t want to spend them alone anymore. He’s not sure if this is what he always wanted or if this was just something Ziva brought out in him particularly. He’d say it was a bit of both. And after feeling this woman’s love, her presence so often in his arms, his bed. He didn’t want it any other way.

He sees Gibbs back at home and he doesn’t want that to be him. He’d been on a fast track there lately and he never noticed that he was going to be the old guy who drinks bourbon in his basement alone because he didn’t share his life with someone.

He doesn’t blame Gibbs. He couldn’t imagine trying to love someone like that again after Shannon and Kelly. He wonders if that was the same for his father. They were a lot alike, Gibbs and his Dad. They’d both had the love of their life taken from them and had circled with endless possible women after but never really settling down again.

Derek had been right; you only find a love like that once. And Ziva, she was his love, he was sure of it. He wasn’t going to let her go, he couldn’t. If he had to move to Israel and learn to speak Hebrew, he was actually starting to consider that possibility. Because he wasn’t going to be like Gibbs, spending his years focusing on the job and not his life.

Sure, his work was his life but he suddenly wanted more than that. Ziva brought that feeling out in him and he’d never before realised how much he truly needed it. He knows his Nonna bags on him around getting married and having kids every time he sees her and before now, he’d dismissed it without thought. He didn’t need that; he’d always said to himself. But now, now he’s starting to think that’s all he wants. With her, with Ziva.

Maybe it just takes the right person for you to realise how much you want from your life, to show you how much potential you actually have. Because before you meet them, you are never aware of that. Because it had always been you and you were content. But then you meet that person and understand just how much you had been missing and how much more you want from your life.

Yes, Ziva had made him realise a lot of things about himself.

He wasn’t sure how, but they had ended up snuggled up in her bed. And yes, the bed felt even better than it looked. It was like he was lying on clouds. His bare chest was pressed to her back and his hands all but locked around her, never wanting to let go. His face, buried deep in her curls and he breathed her scent in with every breath. She was intoxicating.

The evening had ended up a lot more heartfelt than he expected, but he was okay with that. A lot had been shared between them and he couldn’t think of a better way to end that except for holding her tight in his arms. He loved her; he was sure of that. He didn’t know if he could tell her those words yet, he’d never actually said them before. Not even with Wendy. And maybe that’s why they’d never worked out because he couldn’t man up and say the words.

But now, right here with Ziva in his arms he was starting to think that it hadn’t worked with Wendy because it was never meant to. He was meant to meet Ziva and fall in love with her. Because she was the one. He wasn’t the kind of guy who believed in fate when it came to all that romance stuff, that you fall in and out of love with different people because it wasn’t meant to be. They weren’t the one. And then when you find the one and you’ll know. It’ll be different, it’ll be right.

He couldn’t help but believing in that fate all of sudden. Because Ziva, she felt right. He knows their lives are miles apart, but it still felt real. Like it would be okay.

“I will fight for you Ziva, I’m not giving up on this” he whispered into her curls. Her snores were soft and filling the room so he thought she was asleep. But when her hand around his moved and she laced her fingers between his against her belly, he realised she wasn’t quite asleep.

His heart was pounding in his chest, because she had most definitely heard him. His words of promise.

“I will be right there with you, fighting too” came her soft reply. He almost didn’t hear the words they were that quiet. He realised then that yes, she would try for him too. That she didn’t want this to end when he goes home next week because there was far too much love here to let go that easy.

His arms pulled her even closer, gripped onto her because no, he wasn’t going to let her go. Not if he had any say in it. He knows he told her earlier she was a lover and not a fighter, but when it came to love, he knows she was going to show just how much of a fighter she really was. 


	23. Chapter Twenty-Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While this may be a warning for fluffy SMUT, it is heavy naughty SMUT too. Grab your wine and get ready for the cold shower on this one. (P.S Danni doesn’t endorse unnecessary drinking but if you’re on my bandwagon we can be friends and wine pretty much wrote this chapter so thank the grape Gods). So, of course it isn’t safe for work or a public place. You get it. As always, don’t say I didn’t warn you. But then again that’s why you are here right? 😉

** Chapter Twenty-Three  **

When he woke the next morning the early morning sun was spilling into the room and casting onto the beautiful skin in his arms. He realised she didn’t have curtains and he wondered if that was why she always woke so early. Maybe she just loved the way the sun rose and how amazing the world looked outside her window. The sun was creeping up between the large fruit trees outside the glass and the shadows of the branches cast into her room through the large French doors.

Ziva was definitely a lover who enjoyed the pure beauty of the world. He hadn’t been wrong last night. She was just like her mother, as much as she didn’t realise.

He buried his face deeper into her curls and moved his hand across her bare stomach. He loved that even though they didn’t have sex last night, they still slept naked. He loved the feel of her naked skin on his and he wouldn’t have it any other way. It was almost like they didn’t have to have sex to be intimate. He’d never had that kind of relationship before and he couldn’t help but crave the feeling it gave him.

He felt her leg move between his behind her and her hand playing with his at her belly. She was awake now too.

“Good morning beautiful” he whispered against her neck, pressing kisses there. Even if he couldn’t see her, he felt the way her mouth pulled into a smile.

“Boker Tov Motek” she whispered right back. He knew from the small amount of Hebrew he’d been taught before coming on deployment that Boker Tov meant Good Morning, however Motek had not been in the curriculum. He’d be sure to google that one later.

He pulled her tighter against his chest and kissed along her neck some more. Yes, a very good morning in deed. If he could wake up every morning to her like this, he would be a content man. His lips grazed along her neck, finding the sweet spot behind her ear that he’d come to know she loved. He heard the way her mouth hummed in delight at his kisses.

His hand at her stomach drifted higher, his palm finding her bare breast as he softly brushed his fingers across her nipple. She was such a delight, her soft skin, her gentle moans. She was perfect. She rolled onto her back then, clearly wanting to face him. He smiled down at her as their eyes met. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen and the way the sun shone on her skin through her window, he was suddenly glad she didn’t have curtains. There was no other way to see this beauty in the morning.

Her body, her eyes they were illuminated with so much glow right now. She was a radiant star in his eyes. Just like the jewellery that hung around her neck, she was pure gold in this light. His hand that had been teasing her came to her hair as he brought his lips down on hers, not wanting to keep his lips from hers any longer.

The kiss started soft and he realised that her lips had always felt like they belonged in his. They were soft, delicious. She tasted like pure honey. And he did love his honey. It wasn’t long before his tongue was in her mouth, because he craved her and it had been far too long since he’d had her touch like this. Her hands where gripping him around the hips, all but pulling him against her as much as she could.

He was already hard for her, because that’s something she does to him. When he pressed against her, he felt her mouth gasp at the feel of his excitement already. He slipped his good leg between her thighs and he too had to contain his gasp when her dampness touched his skin. She was also melting for him already. He loved how they both reacted to each other like that.

He all but moaned into her mouth at the feeling of her. His hand was back at her breast then, getting that rise out of her with his soft touches. He loves bringing her to the point of squirming in his hands at his touch. He would never get over how much that turned him on. And this morning, he wasn’t in a rush. He would take his sweet, sweet time with her.

He moved over her, nudging her legs wider apart for him as he started kissing down her neck. His injured leg and a few of his other injuries were feeling a little uncomfortable but right now he didn’t care. He would not hold back for that, not ever. He pressed kisses down her chest, stopping to bring one of her perky little breasts into his mouth. God, he loved every inch of her body.

His tongue toyed with her nipple and a soft moan slipped from her lips at the movement. He smirked against her flushed skin. She was already so hot under his touch, a fire already lit deep within her. As he brought his own hand to his mouth, bringing his fingers into his mouth to prepare them to touch exactly where she wanted him to, his eyes caught hers.

He could see that fire deep in those eyes, they were midnight and he could see she was already squirming at the idea of why he licked his own fingers. She was absolutely going to be the death of him one day he was sure of it. But hopefully, he’d be the death of her first. Of that, he’s confident. She broke his gaze as she moaned and threw her head back when she saw him move his hand down between them. He hadn’t even touched her yet and just the thought of it was bring noises from her lips.

He was suddenly very glad her room was on the other side of the house right now, because he had a feeling she was going to be anything but quiet this morning.

When his fingers brushed against her clit softly, she was already shaking under him. He couldn’t help but think how much he loved this woman. He teased her, not touching her firmly enough to get any resolve from her, just gently running his fingers along the edge of her. The more he did this, the more she squirmed.

“Tony” she moaned his name then, in a gentle warning. That if he didn’t touch her right now, she was going to come apart. He smirked against her skin as he kissed lower, over her belly.

“Patience my love” he whispered against her belly. Suddenly, she wasn’t squirming anymore, she was still. Even in her desperation for his touch, she’d heard the endearment. The endearment that started with the letter L. Had he really just said that? Out loud? He guesses he had and he hummed against her skin in pleasure. Because she was his love, and bugger it.

When his lips got close to the heat between her legs her hands had gripped onto his hair. All those weeks ago when he’d had her in this same position and was interrupted, he was finally able to finish the tease he had started that night. He would let nothing interrupt him this morning. He didn’t care if someone came bursting into the door or if the house caught on fire, she was going to come from his slow tease. The world could wait until he was finished with her.

He blew softly at her clit then and she was squirming all over again. He smiled to himself. He knew how to drive her wild, and if it was up to him, he was going to do it until the day he died. His name was drawn out in a moan from her lips again and he smiled some more, because he could hear the desperation in her voice now.

He stroked a finger against her then, teasing her with the feel of his fingers entering her. She pulled harder on his hair then and he was sure she was about to rip some of his precious locks out, so he gave in. Only a little. He pressed a finger into her and her body arched off the bed at the touch. Yes, she was craving more but he wasn’t about to speed things up.

A lot of times they’d been fast, desperate. He hadn’t had much luxury to take his time with her. But now he would, even if she begged him, he would coax her slow. It will be worth it, he knows. He pressed his lips to her clit then, kissing her most sensitive spot. She was already swollen for him and that brought a moan out of his own mouth. It amazed him sometimes how worked up she got over him.

She wriggled under him when his moan vibrated against her clit and clearly, she’d liked that. Her mouth was making all sorts of noises right now and he wondered just how much patience he had himself, because suddenly he just wanted to be deep inside her. He didn’t want to stop his slow exploration of her body so he used all his willpower not to lift his body above hers and bury himself into her.

He moved his finger, coaxing delicious moans from her as he started licking and sucking her in all the ways he could. She was absolutely shaking in his arms now. She was like a meal right now and he was going to eat every single bit of her up and lick the plate clean while he was at it. He could hear her breaths coming in short bursts the more he explored her and he noticed the way she arches more when he sucked her clit into his mouth and bent his finger in a certain way.

He felt her get tighter around his finger and he slipped his second one inside her.

“Ohhh” was the moan that escaped her mouth and he smirked against her. He had her now, he was sure of it. The tighter she got the quicker he went and before he knew it, he could taste her pleasure in his mouth when she came with a soft scream of his name. He would never, ever get tired of the taste of her when she came like that on his tongue. It might hands down be his favourite thing.

Maybe besides when she came around his cock. Oh, lord. It took all his might not to grind himself against the mattress at _that_ thought. He was so hard right now he could hardly contain himself. He couldn’t even feel his sore leg anymore he was that high on her.

The next thing he knew, Ziva was pulling him up to her by his shoulders and he was being thrown on his back. He went to protest because he wasn’t done being on top but her words stopped him as she all but climbed onto his lap.

“You are still injured and you will strain your leg being on top” she purred at him, leaning down and pressing her lips to his. She never really had to give an excuse to be on top, because he loved it more than anything. But he guesses her excuse this morning is rather justified. He smirked into her mouth when her tongue forced its way between his lips. Yes, he’d got her very hot and bothered.

He had also got himself rather worked up. He could feel his hardness press against the back of her ass as she sat on his hips and he noticed how wet his tip was against her skin. He really had worked himself up if he was already dripping at the thought of her. But then again as always with her sex, he’s not surprised.

He felt her hips move then as she kissed him harder and her mouth was starting to get sloppy with him. Before he could catch his breath, she was sinking down on him and he was filling her to the hilt.

“God, Ziva” he moaned, throwing his head back as he tried so hard not to just explode at the feel of her already. When he opened his eyes to look at her, she was smirking down at him. It was her turn to drive him wild. God, he was _so_ fucked right now.

He gripped her hips tightly when she started to move. She was slow, deliberate with her movements. That smirk, never leaving her lips. She bent down, bringing her mouth to his again and the angle alone almost made him come apart. Sex, had never ever been this good before. She rode him slowly, painfully slow for him. He was the one who started squirming about this time, desperate for realise like she had.

She was chuckling against his lips then, because now he knew just what it was like to be the one teased. 

“Please Ziva” he moaned, and yes, he was the one begging now. Because the feel of her was too much and if she wasn’t careful, he was going to lose all control. She was chuckling against his mouth again, loving how much she was making him unravel for her. How was it they were so sexually compatible? He guesses when it’s the love of your life, it’s just like that. Perfect fit.

She clucked her tongue at him when he tried to move his hips up to hers, speeding things up. He had to laugh at that one, because yeah, she was in charge now and she was telling him off for being naughty. They smiled at each other, locking their gaze. This was the moment he knew, no one else was for him. It was her or nothing. No one was going to make him feel like this, boss him around and love him like this. _She was it._

“You are the most beautiful woman I have ever met; you know that?” he suddenly whispered. His hand at her hip was bringing her closer to him, her lips within reach of his if he wanted them to be. He saw the flush of red to her cheeks, the way her eyes fluttered away from his briefly because his words did mean as much as he meant them when she heard them.

“I think you are just trying to trick me into doing as you wish Motek” she whispered back. She pressed her lips to his in a chaste kiss. There was that word again. Motek. What was that word?

“You keep calling me that, what does it mean?” he asked, breathless from her kiss. He was breathless from all of her. Everything about her took his breath away.

“Hmmm” she just purred at him, smirking. God she was a tease, just as much as him. He loved it. He thrust his hips up then, catching her off guard. They both moaned at the feeling. Then, her lips were on his again and her hips were suddenly bouncing above his. He really couldn’t breathe now and his hands grabbed at her thighs desperately as he struggled to breathe when she started giving him exactly what he’d wanted.

He felt his balls grow tight and he could feel when his cock started to pre-ejaculate. He wasn’t at his orgasm yet so he knew this wasn’t the end, but he’d never ever had this happen before. Sure, he’s read about it but he thought it was a myth.

He moaned, loud. Her hips only got quicker. She was leaning back from him then and he watched in all her glory as she rode him. His hands went to her breasts as they bounced with her rhythm and when she threw her head back and her curls flew all over the place, he could only think that this was one thing.

Nirvana.

Her moans became louder as he felt her grip around him and her movements got sloppy as she struggled to maintain her composure. She was close, he knew. It wasn’t often Ziva was flustered to the point of unbalance and falter, but when she was, he knew she was about to come. For him.

He pulled her down to his chest with his arms, holding her tight against his body while he bucked into her from beneath. He would ride her over into orgasm, he would get his woman there if it was the last thing he did.

“Tony” she was gasping into his ear, her hands gripping onto his shoulders with all her strength. God she was so delicious. She was all sweaty and panting against him, whispering his name into his ear and all but moaning constantly. That’s when she started gripping around him tighter and tighter, he knew it was so close now. 

His thrusts got harder, faster then because he was so close too. He suddenly noticed how the legs of her bed were moving across the hardwood floors with a loud sound, and most likely a very obvious noise to anyone that would hear it. That thought only made him buck harder against her.

And that’s when she screamed, actually screamed to the heavens in delight and she was coming for him, all over him. He couldn’t do anything but follow her lead and he was coming just as hard, his whole body shaking like it was never going to end.

“Fuck… Ziva” he moaned her name with his release, gripping onto her so tight. She was twitching and shaking on top of him, her release rolling in waves through her body. After what seemed like forever both of their bodies stopped reeling in the aftershocks of their love and a sweaty smiley Ziva lifted her head from his shoulder and beamed a look of pure, unfiltered love at him.

“That was…” she whispered, breathless. Her cheeks were red and flustered, her eyes light with happiness. The small curls at her scalp with wet with sweat. He smiled up at her. This was absolutely his favourite sight to set his eyes on.

“Yeah…” he returned, agreeing. They were both at a loss for words. Sure, their sex was always crazy and delicious, but this time it had been breathtaking. Maybe it had something to do with the fact they felt more at peace with everything after the promised whispers of last night.

She leant down then, kissing him softly. If a kiss could speak words, this one would tell him that she loved him and she always would. 


	24. Chapter Twenty-Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No judgement on the Hebrew in this chapter. I’m learning the basics but I’ve only got the internet for assistance.   
> Thank you to everyone who continues to enjoy the journey on this story, I love you all.

** Chapter Twenty-Four **

He disappeared from the bedroom while Ziva was still in the bathroom. She’d helped him replace his bandages and checked over his injuries. Everything seemed to be feeling better. He knows he still needs to take care of himself, because he’s had a hard run. Before Ziva could see him, he went to the kitchen with only one crutch. Because his leg was feeling better and the doctor had said to try and use it a bit while it healed.

The house sounded quiet and as he rounded into the kitchen; he could hear the kettle boiling. His eyes landed on Ezra who was making himself a coffee. Ezra turned to him briefly, smiling when he saw who it was. Tony didn’t miss the ghosting of tease in the other man’s eyes.

“Good morning” Tony greeted, slowly making his way into the kitchen as he found a good pattern to his one crutch walking style.

“Yes, it sounded like a good morning” Ezra returned. There it was Tony thought. He was all but waiting for that one as soon as he’d seen the other man’s look. Okay, so they hadn’t been quiet this morning after all. Ezra was turning a smirk on him now as he got out another two mugs from the cupboard.

“Sorry” Tony said, feeling his cheeks flush with heat. Normally, he’d be a man to skite about his sexual adventures. Puff up his bravado and walk around like a peacock. But not with Ziva. She was different. This wasn’t just about sex and showing off women love his sex; no this was love. When it comes to love, you don’t kiss and tell about your sex. It was just different.

“No need to apologize about it” Ezra returned, his tease sobering and a lighter smile gracing his face. Tony smiled back at the man and realised just how peaceful this was. Ezra started making a tea and went to go for the coffee, silently asking Tony with a look how he liked his coffee.

“Two sugars and milk, thanks” Tony said, leaning against the bench by the man. It was quiet for a while as Ezra made the hot drinks and Tony found himself getting lost in his own thoughts. He’s battered and bruised from a hard few weeks, but right in this moment he’d never felt lighter. His heart was full, his broken body didn’t ache so much because he was so relaxed. He couldn’t help but think about just how much he was in love with Ziva.

When he’d met her there had been something different. Then when they’d slept together, something had been entirely contrary to what he was used to. Maybe that’s why he felt this way, because she had been different to everything else he’d known. That she was different because she was the one for him. It’s been a long time since he’d felt such emotion for someone and she just draws it out of him in waves, she always had.

Ezra finished making the drinks and Tony carried his while Ezra carried his, plus the tea Tony suspected was for Ziva. They walked outside and made themselves comfortable on the outdoor seating they’d been drinking on last night. Tony took a sip of his coffee and closed his eyes at the feel of the warm sun on his skin and how beautiful this day really was. For a moment, he felt like he could live in this country if this is the feeling he’d have every day.

“Have you guys talked about it?” Ezra’s voice suddenly filled his ears. Tony opened his eyes and looked over to the other man. He knows what Ezra is talking about without asking. As much as he was trying to stay away from those thoughts, all of his new friends have been asking. Only because they care about the two of them. It was nice. And even though Tony previously had worried about the thoughts of him going home, after last night things seemed a little different. Like there was some clarity that they will be okay. Talking to people about it was making it feel easier. Tony took another sip from his coffee.

“I wouldn’t say we’ve outright talked about it, but I think the feeling is mutual that we don’t want to just give up on it” Tony explained, watching the other man for clues he was on the right train of thought. He knows they are close and maybe Ziva has said something to him about it. Ezra nods his head at him knowingly, like yes that’s what he was aware of too.

“She can seem like she’s being a cold shoulder sometimes with her emotions, don’t let that discourage you. It normally means she cares a lot and is trying to hide from those feelings” Ezra explained, sipping from his own coffee. Tony laughed lightly at that comment, because he knew that one well. It had literally been the up and down of their relationship when things started getting too heartfelt between them.

But now, it was like they were passing that hurdle. Last night emotions were shared on both sides of the table and it looked like they were going somewhere. Tony had a feeling even though they hadn’t really talked about it yet, it was coming. He knows he for one won’t be able to get on that plane without having a serious conversation with her about what they were doing now. He didn’t think his heart could take it if they didn’t have that discussion.

He doesn’t want to feel like he’s unsure about what is happening between them, what the next step is. He needs to know. But for now, he’s going to keep enjoying her and how easy things were without pushing that conversation. He could wait, his energy was far too light and happy to worry about how heartbreaking that conversation could get. 

He noticed that Ziva had appeared from the bedroom as he could see her inside the house. Her eyes caught his from behind the windows and he found his mouth moving without thinking about what he was saying.

“I think I’m falling in love with her” he whispered. He doesn’t take his eyes off her and she’s opening the French door and walking out to where he and Ezra are. A peaceful smile gracing her beautiful lips. The silence next to him is almost deafening and he suddenly realises what he just said, aloud. He turns to look at Ezra, his palms feeling suddenly sweaty.

The other man is looking at him, clearly as surprised as he was at the words that slipped from his lips. The look Ezra gives him though, it holds pure care and respect. Like the fact Tony loves his best friend, meant more than Tony would truly know.

“Don’t leave here without telling her that” Ezra’s voice was soft. Ziva was almost joining them on the couch.

“I won’t” he promised. Because he will tell her, so she knows exactly how he feels about her. Ziva’s smile is beaming when she gets to them and he cannot help but feel his chest tighten at the sight of her.

She greets Ezra and takes her tea from him with a kiss to the cheek. Affection for her dearest friend. Yes, Ziva was in a relaxed mood this morning. She steps over Ezra’s legs and settles herself between the two of them on the cushions. Leaning over and without a second thought, kissing him softly on the lips. His arm goes around her shoulders and she all but leans into him while she tucks her legs under her and smiles.

“What a beautiful day” she states looking out to the sun and sips from her tea. Tony finds himself catching Ezra’s eyes over the top of her curls. They smile at each other knowingly. Yes, beautiful indeed he thinks to himself as he pulls her a little closer to his side.

* * *

They had ended up down the road for lunch at a little café. The café looked over the beach, the beautiful white sands and deep blue sea. Ziva was at his side eating her lunch and laughing with the others at the table and he couldn’t help but stare. She was glowing today, like he’d never seen her before. He wondered if last night and this morning had brought her further out of her shell.

He hoped that was the case because he was for sure feeling as bright as she looked today. He couldn’t help it when his hand reached out under the table and touched her thigh. She was laughing at something Derek had said, but he wasn’t really paying attention. All his brain was doing was taking her in and thinking about her.

As she laughed, she turned to him and her eyes were settling on his. He wasn’t quite sure what he saw in her gaze, maybe happiness? Her smile deepened on him and her hand was sneaking under the table to meet his. He always found her hands were the most gentle and soft things he’d ever touched. It was interesting, the hands she thought were rough and belonged to a killer, he experienced as the kindest hands of love.

Her fingers ran across his and she was intertwining their fingers then, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. Not that he thought it was possible but her smile deepened even more on him before she faced back to their friends. Her hand, not going anywhere as she committed to eating her meal with one hand. Lucky for him, she’d gone for the small seafood platter which definitely allowed the use of one hand to eat.

Because he never wanted to let her go.

* * *

Everyone had finished their meals and they were enjoying a few drinks. He’d been forced into having some weird girly cocktail drinks. He made a fuss about how they were weird, but Ziva and Sarah had encouraged him to drink what they were drinking. He couldn’t say no to the playful side of either of these women, especially Ziva. What he won’t admit while the other men were around was that he actually really enjoyed them.

He made sure to make a fuss about getting a new one each time, just to keep his male bravado intact. At the looks he was getting from Ziva next to him, he definitely wasn’t fooling her. That made him smile. Ziva’s phone began to ring in that moment and she picked it up, sending him a beautiful smile. She’d been giving him those smiles all morning and he’s addicted.

“Shalom” she greeted. He watched as her eyes softened at the voice that returned her greeting.

“Harbe zman lo ra’iti otach” she replied and he noted the private tone to her voice, he knows that tone. She uses it with him. He realises this must be someone dear to her on the phone.

“Excuse me for a moment” she said to the table then, her eyes mainly on him. He wondered who it was that had her reacting like that. He wasn’t in any way concerned about it but the way she leant over to kiss him softly on the temple before disappearing made his heart flutter and any worry dissipate. Her way of assuring him that the phone call was of no concern.

How was she able to do that? Calm him even more with a simple kiss and make his heart grow so much fonder for her in a single moment?

He watched her walk a little bit away from the table and find a private spot to take her phone call. He noted the smile on her face and the way her eyes held such emotion for the person on the other end of the call. He’s curious, but he lets his curiosity slide for now and turns his focus back to his friends at the table.

A few weeks ago, he would think that Ziva might not share with him who her phone call was with, but he knows they are in a different place now and he has no doubt she will share with him later. He gets that feeling with her now, like they don’t feel the need to hide things between them. After last night when she opened up about her family, it was different.

* * *

She cannot believe the voice she hears over the phone. It has been so long since she has heard from him, years in fact. The time since she’d seen him had been even longer. It had started to get to the point where she saw him like her mother and sister, no longer there. Like he was gone. It had been such a time since they had connected.

Her father never told her about him, so for all she knew he could have been killed on a mission and if Eli decided not to tell her, she would never know.

She had thought the only one she had left was her father when he stopped calling her. It had to be at least three years now since she’s heard this voice. Five since she’s seen his face. _Ari._ He’d always been the best brother until her father had all but ripped them apart with work. Ziva sometimes thought it was on purpose, because he knew how much Ziva loved Ari. And maybe if Eli kept her without that connection, she would focus more with his demands.

“Am I interrupting?” Ari’s voice charms as she walks away from the table to some private space to talk. She smiles over the phone at him. Same Ari, her needs first. God, she’d missed him.

“No Ari, I am just out for lunch with some friends. But they do not mind. It has been far too long since we have spoken” she said, her heart going tight. Far, far too long.

“I have missed you Ziva” his voice was so familiar even if it had been so long. His voice was warming her already thriving heart.

“I have missed you also, very much” she said, feeling herself tear up at the thought.

“Eli had me deep cover, but that is all over now. I return to Israel in a couple days” there was the explanation, the reason she hadn’t heard from him. She knows what it’s like to be in that position. Yes, her father was to blame. She suddenly feels curious to the fact if Ari had been put on this mission by purpose and if it had gone on longer than necessary.

Maybe all this just made the idea of leaving Mossad and her father all that much easier.

“You will see me, yes?” she asked, making sure. She was dying to see her big brother. _Hug him._ She’d felt like she’d lost him forever.

“Of course Ziva, I wouldn’t miss it for the world” he returned. There was her brother, the one who used to be there for her. She suddenly wondered what Ari would think about her current situation, torn between what her heart wants and the life she’s always known.

She suddenly hopes that he will be home in time before Tony leaves, because she would like Ari to meet the man who captivates her heart.

“You will let me know when you are back?” she asked.

“Yes, I will see you then. Ani ohev otach”

“Ani ohevet otcha Ari” she returned her love before ending the call. She took a moment to compose herself, taking a deep breath. Ari. Wow, she missed him. It was a relief to hear his voice after so long. She slipped her phone into her pocket before making her way back to the table.

Tony’s eyes were the first to settle on her and she had to smile at that. There was something about this man that pulled all the little strings in her heart. Last night, had been very heartfelt. The things he said to her, the way he sees her, its different. He is far too good to her and she doesn’t want to take that for granted. She knows how she feels about him and she doesn’t want to try and back away from it anymore.

She wants to follow her heart for once in life. Because maybe Tony was right and she was like her mother. A lover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Harbe zman lo ra’iti otach – It has been a long time since I have seen you.   
> Ani ohev otach & ani ohevet otcha – I love you (male to female & female to male)


	25. Chapter Twenty-Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve been absent for a while, due to life stresses. However, I’m doing my best to get back on my feet. This chapter is dedicated to Elizabeth (tony-zivalove) for grounding me this week by reaching out.

** Twenty-Five  **

He’d noticed Ziva had been missing for a little bit while the rest of them mucked around. Derek and Azriel were making dinner and him, Sarah and Ezra were outside on the couches. Ziva had disappeared almost an hour ago. He gets it, she hadn’t had any alone time since her phone call at lunch. Not that she talked about it but he’d seen it in her eyes. Some space and time alone was needed. Ezra must have noticed his fidgeting when she’d been gone a while as he hinted to him to try down the end of the orchard.

He walked down between the trees, basking in the way the light slipped through the trees. It was almost sunset and the sky was slowly creeping from blue to red. He noticed that his leg had felt fine on one crutch today, but he also noticed that he still needed that little bit of support.

As he got to the end of the trees, he saw her figure sitting in the grass, looking over the hills, the ones that eventually became mountains. So, this was her spot.

“Beautiful” he whispered as he came up behind her. He knows she would have heard him coming, the crutch made it hard to be stealth. Especially around a ninja.

“It is, right?” she returned, her voice soft. He saw the way her cheeks pulled as a smile slipped across her lips.

“Oh, the view? That’s beautiful too” he said. Her head was turning to him as she realised his initial comment hadn’t been about the view as his eyes were nowhere but on her. He swore her cheeks coloured as her smile deepened on him. He just smiled back and very ungracefully made his way down onto the grass. Her chuckle was worth the difficult manoeuvre.

He made her accommodate for him and she easily let him when he came up behind her. His legs went either side of hers and she shuffled until her back rested against his chest. This, this was what he’d been looking forward to all day. Her, in his arms.

He brushed her curls back from her shoulder so he could nuzzle into her neck before wrapping his arms around her stomach and pulling her as close as he could. He breathed in, getting that scent that was only her and he sighed in content at the smell. Her hands were wrapping around his and she all but leant into him.

The sun was descending further down behind the mountains and the red was lighting the sky. Red sky at night, shepherds delight. This feeling right here was what life was about.

“My phone call at lunch” she began quietly “It was Ari” she said, her voice choking up just the slightest. Ari. Wow. He drifted his fingers around hers, intertwining them.

“Your brother” he whispered. She hadn’t talked much about Ari, but he remembers when she first talked about him. She was very fond of him, he knows. The way he’d seen her react to the phone call made so much sense now. He felt her nod against him.

“I have not heard from him in about three years” she whispered. Three years. Three years since she’d talked to her brother. He’s never had a sibling but he would suspect that for someone who adores their sibling in the way Ziva does, three years was a long time. Tony didn’t have to think too hard about what had probably put that barrier between them. Eli. Mossad.

Tony pulled her closer and dropped a soft kiss to the curve of her neck. Not feeling the need to comment but just show her that he was there for her.

“He will be home in a few days” she said, her voice lighting up a little. She wriggled into him a bit more.

“That is fantastic news Ziva” he whispered against her skin. She moved a little more then and he lifted his face from her neck to see her face turning towards him, a smile gracing her lips. He could see the excitement in her eyes at the impending return of her brother.

“Yes, I am very excited. Ari and I had always been close before my father had him off on some mission” she explained. He noticed the way her face dropped a little at that comment. So, his suspicion had been right. Eli was to blame. Was there anything in Ziva’s life that man didn’t ruin?

He tired not to let his anger for her father bubble up too much. She needed him to the be the rock right now, to hold her close because all sorts of emotions about her brothers return must be swirling in her head and heart.

“I would like you to meet him” Ziva’s voice suddenly said. Her eyes were watching him closely. For her to say that, was big. She wasn’t keeping him at bay anymore, she was bringing him into the harbour. She was fighting for him and that meant letting him into the closest parts of her life. And Ari, he was obviously someone very important to her.

“I would really like that Ziva” he replied and he noticed the relief on her face. He hopes she didn’t expect any other answer from him than that. Of course, he was nervous but he wouldn’t skip this opportunity for anything. Ziva leant down then and her lips were pressing into his. So soft, so sweet. Her lips belonged on his he was sure of it. Forever.

“I promise I will make sure he is on his best behaviour” she assures him and they both chuckled at that. She turned to face the sunset and leant back into his chest. His fingers traced hers and he kissed that soft spot behind her ear.

“I promise to be on mine too” he’d never been big on making promises to people before but with her, it’s like he would promise her the world and he would make sure he delivered. Her hands squeezed his and he found himself kissing that skin of hers again before resting his chin on her shoulder and simply gazing out into the view.

The last rays of sun beamed across the top of the hills while the shadows started to devourer more of the trees and wilderness. She was right, it was beautiful. But the woman in his arms, she was the sight he wanted everyday more than any beautiful sunset.

He couldn’t tell if he was more nervous about meeting Ari because he was some badass assassin and would most likely be territorial about his only living sister or Ari’s opinion of him. If this was a few years ago Tony would have worried about the first option, but with Ziva he was only worried about the latter. Because what Ziva’s brother thought about him was going to be very important.

He hopes he doesn’t make any stupid damn jokes.

* * *

Later, he’s pretty drunk because he’s happy and Azriel had feed him way too much alcohol. Sarah had decided they were going to play some drinking app game on her phone called Picolo. Things started to get interesting after that.

“Ezra, make up your mind: you have one free ticket for a Celine Dion concert. Do you give it to Derek or Azriel? This person won’t get a ticket but will drink three sips to cheer them up” Sarah read the question that popped up on her screen. Ezra pondered, making it look like this was a hard decision.

“Azriel” he blurted out. Because yeah, Azriel would absolutely go to that concert, plus he wanted him to drink. They laughed as Azriel rolled his eyes and took his drinks. They were all seated outside again on the couch with the small firepit crackling away.

“Derek and Ziva must equalize their drink. The player who has the most filled glass, drink to have the same volume as your friend” Sarah read out the next challenge. Ziva put her hands up in protest after accessing the amount of beer in Derek’s bottle.

“Oh, that is unfair, his is almost finished and I have a new drink!” she stated, laughing as she did. Tony threw his head back as he laughed.

“Well sweetheart you better drink up” he smiled down on her. She gave him what he suspected was meant to be a warning look but it held such adoration that she failed any kind of threat. She did as the challenge wished before laughing. She, as well as them all were very full of alcohol tonight.

“Ziva, for love, give out three sips to the player you like the most” Sarah read again. Ziva suddenly felt pink in the cheeks and Tony saw it. While everyone knew who she liked the most, the answer she would give would be entertaining.

“Well this is a hard one” she said and they all laughed. Because they _knew_. She turned to face him then, her smile beaming down on him. “I like Sarah the most” she stated and the laughing continued. She’d done that on purpose.

“I think Ziva should drink three times for lying” Ezra’s voice was next.

“I concur on that” Derek added. She turned to face their challenges but laughed and accepted her fate. She and Sarah drunk their three sips together.

“That was harsh” Tony whispered in her ear as she took her last drink. A smile was aimed at him again. God, she hadn’t stopped smiling all night.

“You know I like you most” she said, placing a hand to his cheek and leaning down to give him a soft kiss on the lips. He smiled into the kiss. Yeah, he liked her most too.

“If you were drunk yesterday, drink three times” Sarah stated. They all drunk for that one of course.

“Drink three times if you’ve ever used a lighter to set your fart on fire” Sarah read, pulling a grossed-out face. Tony and Derek both took drinks, laughing at each other.

“That’s so gross you two” Sarah commented.

“That wasn’t even the most disturbing thing that night” Derek pointed out, laughing hard at the memory.

“I don’t even want to know” Sarah laughed.

“How did you not catch your butt on fire?” Ziva whispered to him. Her eyes teasing him.

“I had much less hair on my ass in those days” Tony replied, teasing her back. The very interested look Ziva gave him back at that comment lit his bones on fire. He laughed.

“If you’re single, give three sips to one person” Sarah read. Tony suddenly felt his hands get sweaty around his beer and his eyes caught Ziva’s. They never talked about labelling what they were doing but at the same time he didn’t see himself as a single man. Not at all. And after the talks about fighting for each other, he believed this was going somewhere. He could see her thinking the same as him. Neither of them gave out any sips.

This didn’t go unnoticed by everyone else and Sarah, Ezra and Azriel all picked on them because of it.

“Tony drink” Azriel stated.

“I vote Tony too” Sarah smirked.

“Hey, don’t pick on me!” Tony exclaimed.

“I vote Ziva” Ezra added. They were absolutely being picked on for the fact they weren’t dishing out sips. But secretly everyone was touched by that fact. Because it meant things were maybe, just maybe deeper than they all realised. Not that anyone was surprised.

They drunk their sips, smirking at each other. Tony suddenly felt his heart grow tight when Ziva’s hand found his and she gave it a soft squeeze. When his eyes found hers, she was kissing him softly again. She really hadn’t shied from kissing him in front of everyone tonight.

He was so in love with this woman.

* * *

Everyone had slowly made their way inside for the night and Tony didn’t get all the way to Ziva’s room before he decided he wanted her lips in his. He’d made it all the way to the hallway before his hands were at her hips, pressing his body into hers and tasting her mouth. The way she purred into his kiss told him she had no complaints to the action.

Then he was pinning her into the wall, because he needed to press himself into her just that much more. Because he couldn’t get enough of her. His brain was blurred with alcohol and the only thing he could think about was her naked body under his. The more she had kissed him that night the more he had craved her. He would never get tired of her touch, her body. It was a wonderland.

He heard his crutch drop to the floor as he all but absorbed himself in her. One of his hands were deep in her hair, the other was pinning her hips against his. With his good leg slipping between hers he could feel the warmth radiating off her body. She was the one who pushed her tongue into his mouth, because as it seems she was just as desperate for him.

He was so lost in her he almost didn’t hear someone clearing their throat from behind him. He and Ziva both turned their heads to see Derek smirking. He felt his cheeks get hot at being caught out in the moment.

“You two literally need to get a room, I really don’t want to see any part of Tony naked” Derek stated with a large laugh. They laughed too. Getting a room was probably a good idea, because Tony was close to ripping both their clothes off.

Derek wondered off then, leaving them to their business and Ziva smirked at him. She bent down to pick up his crutch and his hand found a mind of its own as he gave her ass a playful slap. As she handed his crutch back to him her lips were on his, her teeth biting his lower lip. The twinkle in her eye told him she liked his hand slapping her ass. Interesting.

As he followed her drunkenly down to the bedroom, he had no idea what he was in for that night. Because drunk Ziva, she got a little kinky. When he held her close after, all sweaty with their sex, he thought to himself. He didn’t think he was ever going to get bored of this woman as she had the tendency to always keep him on his toes.

He had most definitely met his match in the bedroom.

But when it comes to the matters of the heart, she kept him on his toes there too. He knows it’s going to be a long time before anything feels secure with them. He doesn’t exactly know what this was going to look like when he leaves in a few days. But he’s not going to let her go. His heart races at the idea of them talking about what’s going to happen next.

He’s nervous about it. He still doesn’t know what to say, how to make this work. He knows that for it to be something real, one of them is going to have to change their life considerably. Thinking about it, thinking about his friends back home he struggles with the idea of leaving that all to move halfway across the world.

But as much as he loves his friends, they didn’t make him feel complete like Ziva did. There was something different about how she made him feel. He was willing to sacrifice a lot for her and it did scare him. But he guesses when someone makes you feel the way she does, is there even a second thought about it?

He knows if he moved here, he’d be happy if she was in his arms every night. He wasn’t sure what he’d do for work but he’s sure there would be something he could come up with. He loves working on MCRT, it’s his dream gig. But life isn’t always about the job. He’d loved being a beat cop in Baltimore before he’d become a detective. He’d also loved being a detective before he’d joined NCIS.

Over all his years working as a cop, he didn’t love any of it as much as the woman in his arms makes him feel. He didn’t realise how lonely he was until he’d met her. He knows Kate and McGee are going to laugh at him when they find out he’d fallen in love with someone. Because after all he’s only ever showed them his womanizer side. But there was a lot of his mother in him, he wasn’t only his father’s son.

He wondered what his mother would think about Ziva and he found himself smiling. She’d love her, he’s sure of it. He doesn’t think about his mother much, but then again there is something about Ziva that brings something different out in him.

If this was his mother’s favourite movie West Side Story, he’d absolutely be Tony and Ziva was his Maria.

He accidently stirs Ziva from her sleep when he grips her tighter at that thought and she offers a half-asleep mumble he cannot understand. He chuckles softly and curls against her back, pressing a soft kiss to her neck.

“Loving is enough” he whispers on her skin, quoting his favourite scene in his mother’s favourite movie. She snuggles into him and he smiles at her. She was so adorable when she slept and just trusted him around her when she’s that vulnerable.

He cannot help but think they were a lot like Tony and Maria. That they were both from opposite lives, be it they weren’t in gangs but Mossad and a U.S federal agency were as different as they come. That and the feeling that they both needed to run away together and just be with each other because that would be enough.

He’d also put his life on the line for her already and had been shot just like Tony had in the movie. And maybe it was fate that he survived and Tony didn’t in the film. Maybe, just maybe, he and Ziva were meant to be.


	26. Chapter Twenty-Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry that the updates have been a little slack lately. I’m currently studying for two different exams at work so that’s been taking up a lot of my time. With my career progressing at work, I’ve got a lot of exams and things to qualify for to get to where I need to be. I will do my best to commit to my writing when I do get the time, because I still love it and love you guys.  
> I’m also going to try better to respond to those leaving reviews, because those mean the world to me.   
> Danni. xo

The next day had gone far too quick. Much like the days before he and his friends had a merry good time, drinking into the late hours before he and Ziva had retired to her room and made drunken love to each other. He really, really could get used to that. Not the drunk part, but absolutely making love to Ziva each day. They had tidied Ziva’s home, leaving it like they had arrived. Spotless. They had all gone back to the Mossad base after that.

Tony couldn’t help the scary feeling deep in his chest as Ziva drove him, Derek and Sarah back to base. He was leaving in two days. Leaving her home had made that feel so real. Before, he could ignore it because he was having a good time with his friends and being out in the country made him forget it all. Forget that he was about to get on a plane back home and Ziva would be staying.

He tried not to seem too pent up and fiddly as they drove back to base but the odd curious glance from Ziva told him she’d noticed. But that wasn’t a conversation they would be having in front of their friends; Tony knows that much. As much as his friends knew about them, he wasn’t going to invite them to a front row seat to a conversation that would most likely make him cry.

Ziva had also told him this morning that it looks like Ari would be back in Tel Aviv sometime in the afternoon. That was another thought that was swimming around in his head. He knows Ziva wants to see him herself before Tony is brought to his fate by meeting her brother. The main thing about that Tony cannot stop thinking about is that she will be gone tonight. And with the current thoughts swirling in his mind he knows it’s going to be a long day. A very long day.

But it is what it is.

She helps him with his bag to his room because he’s still on one crutch. When they are finally alone in his room, one that suddenly feels so dark and mundane compared to the warmth of her family home, words are on his lips. But not quite the ones he wants because she didn’t need that conversation before seeing her brother for the first time in years.

“Thank you, I had a really good time these last few days” he says as she places his bag on the bed. He realises then that he needs to start packing all his things. Because he’s leaving soon. He dreaded the idea of that task so much because it’s another thing that made him leaving feel so real. She must have noticed his sombre mood because she’s turning to him, her hands slipping around his waist as she steps into him. Her eyes gentle and concerned, searching his. Because she knows something is up.

“You have been awfully quiet Tony” she starts, her hands soothing up his back as she steps even closer. Her body pressed to his now, she’s so close her breath is warm on his lips and he sighs at the feeling of her wrapping around him like that. His hand goes to her hip and his other threads into those beautiful curls of hers to tilt her face up towards him. He loves the way she’s shorter than him, so he can stare down at her like this. She’s so goddamn beautiful it makes his heart stop.

“I know, but I don’t want to talk about it before you go see Ari. I don’t want to put that weight on you” he replies honestly. He thought about making a joke and beating around the bush, but he knows she’ll pull him up on it and make him be honest anyways.

Her eyes give him an understanding gaze then and she nods before kissing him softly. Because she understands. She knows what’s on his mind. She nuzzles her face into her neck, clinging to him. He clings right back, feeling like he’s crushing her with the amount of force he uses to pull her against him. But she doesn’t seem to mind. He feels the way her hands grip and crush around his shirt. Yeah, she really is on the same wavelength as him on this.

He finds himself letting out a long breath. Because feeling her like this, so desperate and tight around him he knows she’s feeling as tender as him about this moment. The impending fate that they need to talk about, he’s not the only one holding his breath about it all. She cares just as much, she’s just as sad as him about it all. He wants to stand in this spot with her for the rest of his life and never let her go.

The ding of her phone reminds him that they are in the real world and that’s not an option. Sadly. He thought she would be the one to pull away at the notification of her phone but she didn’t, she stayed rooted to her spot with him. He was the one who eventually pulled away.

“You should check that” he smiled at her, doing his best to look content but he knows his smile probably holds some gloom. She nods at him, her smile as dim as his. Not because she didn’t care, the fact she did care so much was the reason behind the sadness.

They part and he suddenly feels so cold without her in his arms. He watches as she pulls her phone out of her pocket and she checks the message. He sees the excitement flicker across her face and he steps a little closer so he can run a hand down her back.

“Ari?” he asks and she’s nodding at him again. She is the one that’s rather quiet now and he suddenly feels her tremble slightly under his hand at her back. Her eyes are glassy when they settle on his and all he does is pull her back into his arms. She clings to him again. The skin at his neck feels wet from her silent tears and it makes him bury his face in her curls and pull her closer.

“I am sorry” she whispers against him. He smiles at that. Because she never has to be sorry for showing him her inner emotions.

“Don’t be. Ever” he mumbles back. His hand starts rubbing reassuring motions down her back.

“This all feels like so much at once. You leaving, Ari coming home” she says and a light chuckle slips from her lips “It is silly really” she adds. He pulls back slightly so he can bring a hand to her jaw, lifting her eyes to his.

“I think it’s pretty rational actually” he tells her and she smiles a bit at that. Because he reminds her this is all normal and that everything happening right now _was_ a lot. It _was_ emotional. He runs his thumb across her cheeks, wiping away her tears. He doesn’t know if it makes her look happier or ready to cry again, but when another tear slips, he guesses it’s the latter.

He catches that tear with his thumb and he kisses her. Kisses her with a lump in his throat and tears burning the back of his own eyes. He has no doubt in this moment if he loves her or not.

“You go see your brother; I have that appointment with the doctor to get to anyways” he says instead of what he really wants to. Because like before, he doesn’t want to lump that on her before she sees her brother. When he tells her, he wants to be able to hold her in his arms and not let go until the next day. Her watery smile tells him that she was thankful for him stepping up and trying to get her moving. He thinks if he doesn’t push her to leave, she probably won’t.

Would she really stand up her brother that she hasn’t seen in god knows how long for him? Not on his watch. As much as he’d love that, he needs to make her get her tush moving.

He kisses her softly before stepping back and straightening out her clothes with his hands, taming her hair with his fingers until it sits right. Now she looks presentable. Now she looks… “Beautiful” he whispers, staring down at her like she’s the eighth wonder of the world.

She kisses him again at that, this time lingering for a long time there. He chuckles against her because they really cannot keep their hands off each other. And not just because of sex, no, this was real intimacy. 

“Don’t rush home, you enjoy your time with Ari” he states. His heart tightens at his own comment. His apartment wasn’t her home, but his arms were. She nods again and he wonders if she’s becoming mute with all this emotion. She settles for one last heavy kiss on him before taking a deep breath to settle herself.

“I will be home later” she says with a smile, this one lighting her eyes and holding the happiness she has for returning to his arms that evening. With that she’s slipping out his door and he’s left alone.

It doesn’t take long before the weight builds back on his shoulders but he ignores it as he attempts to pack most of his things. He figures he’s going to be holding a weight on his shoulders for a long time to come, because it won’t disappear until one of them makes a sacrifice and moves permanently to the others homeland. 

* * *

Five years. Five years since she has seen her brother. She had replied to him and was set to meet him at their favourite restaurant. The one they always had gone to together whenever they crossed paths in Tel Aviv. She was now parked up just down the street from the restaurant and she was trying to keep herself together.

Her emotions had been all over the show today. Because Tony was leaving and Ari had returned. It was all so much for her to balance at once. Since being with Tony, she had found her emotional armour had cracked more and more. She was not the emotionless soldier now, because he’d made her realise, she didn’t have to be. She didn’t have to hide it all from the world. Other people might judge her and think of her as weak, but it suddenly didn’t seem to bother her so much because she knows Tony will never see her as weak. Only stronger.

And after all these years, one man seeing her like that made nothing else matter. Not when she loved him like she did.

She took a deep breath and smiled. Tony had made her a better person and she wondered if Ari would notice after all these years. She wonders if her brother will like the change in her. She has no doubt he will. She cannot wait to see him.

She gets out of her car and makes her way over to where her brother is most likely waiting for her. She doesn’t have to get too close before she sees him. She would spot her brother from a mile away. He’s standing outside the restaurant and it doesn’t take him long to feel her presence, he turns to her and a massive smile is on his face.

She cannot help herself when she all but runs over to him and crashes into his arms. His arms are strong like she remembered and she feels that relief of familiar love warm over her. She’d missed her brother so much. When the embrace pulls apart, she’s beaming with a smile, his one matching hers.

“You look old” she smirks at him and a chuckle vibrates through him. She’d forgotten how much she loved his laugh.

“You look peaceful” he returned and her cheeks warmed. Because he’d noticed immediately. Of course he had.

“It has been a long time Akhy” she reminds him. That it has, far too long indeed.

“Hmm, the girl I left behind is not the same woman you have become” he said smiling down at her. He kisses her softly on both cheeks, greeting her again.

“I have been through a lot since you have been gone” she tells him. She has been to hell and back, but she has also found her promised land in the form of someone who has stolen her heart.

“I look forward to hearing about it” he smiles and puts an arm around her shoulders before walking them into the restaurant. It felt so good to have him back, her brother. The one person that reminded her what family truly felt like.

They talked about a lot over their meal. Briefly work, as much as they could talk about in public. She tells him about what happened with Michael and she sees fire in his eyes. He apologises for not being there for her. She tells him not to blame himself. She talks about the fact Michael was no longer around anymore as he’d been killed. She finds herself being relieved when she explained that.

She talks about their father, how she no longer wants to serve his every demand. She tells him that she no longer wishes to be a part of Eli’s life. It’s all a lot for him to take in she knows that, but his eyes are light with the information. He tells her she’s always deserved better than that. Her heart tightens at his words, because that’s something Tony had said too. Then she tells him she wants to leave Mossad.

Her eyes well up, because when he asks more about that thought, she knows there’s one thing left to discuss. One person.

“I have learnt a lot over the last few months. We had this investigation where we worked alongside some Americans. The investigation closed this week. However, the main part of why this is important is I have been seeing one of those Americans” she tells him. She feels her cheeks grow warm as she tells him. She has spoken with Ari about her flings in the past, but something was different when she spoke about Tony. He wasn’t just a fling. She watches the way her brother’s face pulls with a smile and he leans back in his chair.

“Ahh, I see what has brought the peace to your eyes baby sister” he says as his smile grows larger.

“He has made me realise that I deserve more from my life then what Mossad and Eli can give me. He does not know I want to leave yet as this is a decision I need to make on my own. I cannot explain the way he makes me feel Ari” she tells him. The thought of leaving Mossad has always peppered in the back of her mind but she had never had a good enough reason to leave. Now she does.

“Love Ziva, that is clearly how he makes you feel. I could see it the moment I saw you in the street” he leans forward, reaching across the table to gather her hand in his larger one. She had missed him so, so much. “The love he shares with you, it makes you gentle. You remind me a lot of Rivka with that lightness in your heart” he adds, squeezing her hand.

Those words, they made her tear up. Tony had also told her she held her mother’s love and she wasn’t the fighter like her father. Hearing similar words from someone who knew her mother, broke her down. She tried to sniff back the tears but she felt one break through her defences and run down her cheek.

“I missed you” she chokes out. Because she had. She needs this. Ari telling her those exact words settled her on her decision. She would leave Mossad; of that she was sure now. She loved her mother so much; she was the kindest person Ziva had ever known. If Ari thought he could see her mother in her, it meant she was on the right track in life. Happiness was in sight. Ari squeezes her hand again.

“I missed you too, so much” his words soft. Loving. She swore she could see his eyes go glassy; she had never seen her brother cry. Not once. It was so good to have him back.

“So, what is his name and do I get to meet him?” Ari asked when the air started getting too heavy. He chuckled lightly when he asked and she knew he was close to crying, but he was trying his damn hardest not too. She chuckled back and wiped at the tears on her face.

“His name is Tony and yes, if you behave you can meet him” she clucked her tongue at him. Ari had scared many boys away from her when they had been younger, he was always quite protective of her and Tali. Bless his soul.

“I have to do my brotherly duty and make sure he is up to standard” he raises his hands, in defence. She smiles and rolls her eyes at him.

“No funny business” she warned, chuckling at the mischievous glint in his eyes. She couldn’t help but think for a moment that her brother and Tony were a lot alike in a many ways. The cheeky side, the big hearts. Ari may joke about doing his brotherly ‘test’ but she has no doubt the two of them were going to get along well.

“By the looks of it, funny business will not be needed. He has passed half the test already, I can tell he treats you well by the light in your eyes and the smile on your face” Ari said, suddenly going deep and emotional on her again. She hadn’t expected it, she’d expected another joke. His words, had meant more than he would ever know.

Her brother liking Tony felt like one of the most important steps in her advancing life from this point. As it seems, they were halfway there already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Akhy – My brother.


End file.
